New toys for Christmas

I just got an email from the sex toy site that I’m going to be reviewing for, saying that my first toy has been shipped today. How exciting! It’s all thanks to
this blogger
that I found out about this in the first place and hopefully I’ll write a good enough review to carry on working with them. The toy I’m getting first of all is a G spot vibe, fine with me. I’ll post the link to the review as soon as it’s live on the site, but it won’t be for a while yet as the toy is coming from the US and with the Christmas rush of posting things it will probably take a couple of weeks to get here.

In other news, the rest of my mother’s stay went smoothly, mainly because I managed to make myself come in the middle of the night, very quietly and felt much better the next day. I’ve also been having absolutely incredible sex which I’m not going to write about too much and if I do it will be fairly anonymously because I want to keep this one for myself and savour the moment without writing about it. I also want to move my blog over to wordpress, but I’m hesitant because I’ve posted this blog address in so many places, and there’s so much stuff on blogger that I think moving home would be a nightmare. But I do like the idea of being able to password protect some posts so that only certain people have access to them. We’ll see, maybe in the new year. I can’t believe how close Christmas is, I go up north a week on Sunday and I found out yesterday that there are no trains coming in to Euston all over Christmas so getting back to London is going to be a god awful nightmare, fucking national rail. Isn’t it obvious that people are going to be travelling to see family etc over Christmas? Right, time to do something other than watch porn.

Thoughts of you

You. I've been thinking about you all day. This morning I lay in bed for an eternity replaying the scenes we created back in my head. For the rest of the day I've been half distracted, always somewhere else, wondering how you are and what you are doing, whether you are thinking about it too. Whether it was as amazing for you as it was for me. I find it strange having you in my head, thoughts of your voice, your kiss, the way you touched me, filled me, claimed me for those hours we got lost in each other. My pleasure, exquissit. The way your skin felt, incredible. And your tenderness made me want you all the more. I didn't expect to feel like this, to want to see you again, but I do. However if, and until then, kindly remove yourself from my thoughts so that I can stop walking around in a daze!

Je vais a Paris!

I have spendtmost of the afternoon on the phone to friends in Sheffield, my friend Simon in Paris, and Eurostar, trying to get a trip to go and see him sorted out. I mentioned that I wanted to go a while back but that the tickets were too expensive, but we've managed to get really cheap ones going in January. So three of us, Frankie, Helen and I are all going to Paris for the weekend to visit Simon and I booked the tickets a few minutes ago. I'm very excited, I haven't been there since I was a child and it'll be lovely to have a sort of girlie weekend away with friends to blast away any new year blues.

In other news this week my sex drive seems to have gone through the roof. How high can it get you might be thinking, but remember when I had that week of not masturbating at all? Well I've definitely been making up for it this week, my BOF's haven't had so much atention in a while. On a mental score I'm feeling really great at the moment as well, and although I do hope DL is doing ok I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I am no longer being made to feel guilty for living my life without her.

Yesterday I was in the office all day doing my charity stuff and then Baby G and CC came over for dinner in the evening. Today I haven't done much at all and I'm having a night in front of the TV tonight saving my pennies and avoiding the rain that has been pouring continuously for what feels like weeks now. Tomorrow Mr C is coming over for another jamming session and that reminds me I need to learn a song in preparation so I'll be doing that tonight as well. On Monday my mother is visiting for a few days and then I have two christmas parties to go to at the end of the week. I can't believe it's nearly christmas, time to definitely do some shopping and I need to book my train tickets to go and see my parents as well. I plan to leave London on the 23rd and return on the 28th in time for new year celebrations. Right now though my dinner is cooking, it's nice and warm and I'm going to curl up with a book in a bit and have an evening to myself.

Playing Roles

I am in the kitchen preparing dinner when the doorbell rings. I replace the pot on the hob, turn down the heat and glide through to the hallway in my high heeled open towed shoes. My hand on the door knob I pause for a second, heart pounding, savouring those last moments of anticipation before I see you, then slowly I unlock and open the door. For a minute we stand face to face,. You look at me, deep in to my eyes, your brown penetrating my blue. Then you raise one hand and with the palm you gently push me backwards until my back meets the cold wall that divides the hallway from the lounge.

Your hand is warm, it is on the exposed skin that my low cut dress doesn’t cover, and when my back is flat to the wall you dig your short nails in to my flesh ever so slightly, but enough so that my skin prickles and I shudder with pleasure. Then your arms are on either side of me, your hands on the wall, your body pressed close to mine, our breasts touching. “Something smells good,” you say, burying your face in my hair, and from that action I know you aren’t just talking about what is cooking in the kitchen. “Good enough to eat?” I murmur. “Maybe,” you say, teasingly. Then you are gripping the hair at the back of my head, pulling it tight, revealing the soft skin of my neck that you now start to bite and tongue vigorously, aggressively, hungrily. “I’ve been thinking about fucking you all day,” you growl between flicks of your tongue and teeth. “Wanting to feel your hot wet cunt, taste it, touch it, fill you until you beg for mercy.” My breath is coming in short sharp gasps now, your words turning me on almost as much as your touch. “You’ve been thinking about it too, haven’t you?” You say, almost accusingly. “Haven’t you, the dirty little slut that you are. Haven’t you!” You’re yanking on my hair now, the other hand sliding down my back to cup my round ass, pressing me forward in to your body. It is then that I feel it, what I know you’ve been saving for me, what you want me to feel and grow excited for. “Yes,” I gasp now in response to your question.
“What exactly have you been thinking about, you dirty bitch?” Instinctively I know what you want me to say, I can tell by the way you are pressing it between my legs, pushing my thighs apart, hands reaching under my dress to lift it slightly. “Your cock,” I whisper, “I’ve been thinking about your cock all day long. I want it, big and hard and deep inside me.” I am reaching down to the zip in your jeans, pulling at it, tearing at the fabric with my nails, but you grab my hands and raise them up expertly pinning them together with one of yours at the back of my head. “Not yet,” you say, “don’t be greedy now.” You rub up against me now, grinding the bulge in your pants against my pussy. I feel the liquid start to flow from me and I think I will start to squirt even from this slight pressure because the anticipation of what we are going to do is driving me crazy. Tenderly now you touch my face with your free hand, stroke my cheek, brush my lips with your fingertips, then let your hand slide down my collar bone to my breasts where you start squeezing my hard nipples through the material of my dress. Then we are kissing, deep, passionate, intense kisses that send my head spinning. Your tongue is in my mouth, it tastes of mint and I suck it eagerly, giving you a hint of what I will do to your aching cock when you let me.

We are walking through to the bedroom now, you have released my hands and they are around you, pulling you with me as we move towards the bed and when I feel its cold metal against the back of my thighs you spin me around so that you are closest to the bed, and then you sit. “Straddle me baby,” you command, grabbing my ass and pulling me on to your lap. I kick off my shoes and part my knees so that they are on either side of you and my dress rides up around my waste. I am wearing thin silk panties, my clit is swollen making a little bud in the material which is already soaked with my juices. When I am in position you pull me down and rub your cock against the spot where you know my clit is, and the only thing that separates the two is the material of my pants and your jeans. Now I am grinding hard, my head back, my cunt beginning to ache uncontrollably, letting me know that the only thing that will satisfy her is to be full of you. You like this extended foreplay, your eyes are burning in to me and as you slide a hand between my legs I can tell you already know what you will find. Roughly now you pull my panties to one side and lubricate your fingers with my overflowing juices. I am thrusting forward now, whimpering, aching to have you inside me, but you continue to tease me by circling and stroking my clit until the motion almost tips me over the edge. Then when you know I am on the verge of coming you thrust two fingers once, hard, in to my open pussy and as quickly as they enter me, you are gone again, raising your hand to lick your fingers and moan your appreciation. “you know what I want you to do, don’t you, slut?” You say thickly in to my ear, biting on my earlobe and trailing your tongue down my neck, giving me shivers. “Yes,” I whisper, and now I am sliding off your lap to kneel in front of you and you are unzipping your jeans, letting them slide to the floor where you kick them off. Slowly now I stroke you through your pants, they are boy shorts today although I know you will be wearing a sheer lace bra under your top because you know I like the combination. You are breathing hard in anticipation as I work my hands under the band of your pants, pulling them down and letting your cock spring free. This one is one of my favourites, a black leather harness with a purple dildo sitting snugly, warm with your body heat. I bend my head and lick the tip of it, and you shudder as though the sensation has travelled down the shaft all the way to your aching clit. I open my mouth and take you in, using my hands to stroke around the base while I work on the head with my flicking tongue. Your hands are in my hair and you are murmuring, “oh yeah that’s it baby, suck it for me, suck my cock like the expert whore you are. My come hungry slut, I want to come in your mouth, oh fuck yeah make me come in your sweet little mouth.” I begin to move faster now, my head bobbing up and down, hands working, lips clamped around the shaft and you are thrusting forward, making me take you deeper until I have to relax my muscles in order that I don’t gag. When you are worked up in to a frenzy you begin pulling at my hair, lifting me up, pulling my mouth away from your cock so that you can again slide your tongue in to my mouth and kiss me hard. “Get on all fours,” you tell me and you get off the bed while I crawl on to it, dress around my hips now, ass exposed which you start to squeeze and slap, impatient for me to get in to position. When I am face down, my head lowered, ass in the air you pull down my panties and place a knee between my legs, pushing them wide apart so that you can kneel behind me on the bed. Now you lower your face to my ass and begin kissing my soft smooth skin, making circles with your tongue that get wider and wider until you reach my ass whole and begin to lap at it gently. “Oh Jesus,” I moan in to the pillow, gripping the sheets hard with both hands, trying not to rock back on to your tongue. The circles change to long strokes, and you are moving from my ass to my soaking wet pussy, lapping from clit to ass and then back again, sometimes pausing to stick the tip of your tongue in to my aching cunt. By now I am moaning loudly and moving my hips back and forth, almost at the point of no return, being driven insane by that expert tongue of yours. “Fuck me,” I beg you now, “oh God please fuck me. Put your cock inside me, I need to feel it, please you’re making me crazy, please fuck me, please!” My words are tumbling over each other, my voice rising, the desire building in my throat to an almost animalistic wale. You raise your head, your long hair brushing against the skin of my ass, sending goose bumps across my flesh. I feel you lean over me to retrieve a condom from the bed side draw and hear the tearing of the wrapper as you place it over the dildo. Then you are shuffling forward on your knees behind me, making sure you get the angle that will hit my G spot rather than become painful and oh how you know that angle. I brace myself now, the dildo you have chosen is not a small one and we only usually use it when I am ridiculously excited, which on this occasion I am. I feel you rub the head up and down the length of my pussy, lubricating it with my juices as you did your fingers earlier. Then you are pushing against me and I am crying out and you are inside me, moving slowly at first until we find each other’s rhythm, then faster and harder until you are slapping against my thighs and you are filling me, again and again and I am bucking back on to you, gripping the head of the bed to push myself harder and harder against you. The sounds that come from my mouth are not my own, they don’t sound like my voice, they are loud and high and I am speaking words, “oh yes baby fuck me baby oh god fuck me harder harder that is so fucking good fuck fuck fuck fuck oh god I’m gonna come come inside me baby come on come in my pussy fucking come inside me yeah that’s it just like that oh God I love your cock I fucking love your cock your big hard cock so fucking good.” The words turn in to one long extended vowel and the vowel becomes a scream and the scream seems to start from deep inside me where your cock is pounding against my spot and your fingers have reached around to rub on my clit and it is ripping through me, up through my entire body the scream and the sensation and the point of no return, the cliff that I will jump from is right there and my tows grip the edge and then I am flying, flying high and the scream is a bird and the bird is me and I am sawing through the air and it is a long time before I come crashing back down to earth, a trembling crying shaking woman once again made incoherent by the way that we make love.

Later, in your arms, I am still shaking. You are soft now, soft and tender and we are kissing slowly, murmuring sweet words to one another, hands stroking skin, trailing through hair, our naked bodies pressed close. It is only when I start to smell something burning that I remember I had been preparing dinner when you arrived. Quickly I slip out of bed and pad through to the kitchen, where I turn off the heat and leave the food to go cold, knowing that we will warm it up much later. Sliding back beneath the sheets I feel the heat from between your legs and reaching down, my fingers meet smooth skin, then wetness and as I start to fuck you you open your legs wide and whisper my name. “My beautiful woman,” I say, and as you submit to me and I begin to work my magic on your sweet pussy, the harness and cock discarded on the floor, I marvel at the beauty of it and the knowledge that for tonight at least you are mine.

My Other Addiction

My other addiction aside from sex as you probably know by now is books. I've just joined an audiobook site which I will link on here in the places I like section and it's given me access to a massive quantity of books I have been wanting to read for years. So, consequently in my excitement I have started to read several at once but can't settle on one in particular, rather like a kid who is taken to a sweet shop full of their favourite sweets and told it can eat whatever it wants. So I need to disciplin myself and prioritise my reading material. At the top of my list are authors Toni Morrison, Maya Angelou, Alice Walker, Jeanette Winterson and some of Val McDermid's books that I've not read yet. Each Author has written quite extensively, so as you can imagine, even if I choose one author to start with, what book do I choose? God! People who may be reading for the first time or aren't in the know about audio books might be wondering what all the fuss is about. But for a lover of literature such as myself, not being able to walk in to a bookshop and pick up a paper back novel, buy it and read it because of my lack of vission is incredibly frustrating. Although the audio book market is getting much better these days it is still not perfect and it is very rare that the audio version of a book is released at the same time as the print version, and when it is released it is often abridged, and if it is released in its full version it's usually much more expensive than the print format. Through studying literature at university, joining certain underground sites on the internet and through recently joining audible.co.uk the variety of books I have been able to read has gradually grown, but when I joined the RNIB's book stream book club last week, it exploded! The downside of this site is that you have to stream the books, so you can't download them, or put them on your Ipod, I guess due to copyright laws as you pay an anual subscription rather than buying books individually. But still it is fantastic. Now though like I said I just don't know where to start.

I wanted to share this with you because it's something I'm very excited about and it doesn't relate to sex, unless that is I can find some lesbian erotica, then I'll be well away. My two passions intertwined. Listening to an erotic audio book while playing with my toys. Mmm. Speaking of which I had a really good orgasm last night, and yes I was by myself. This morning when the cable people came to again try and fix my service I had to run and hide the toy box in the wardrobe because it seems to be overflowing at the moment. Time for a new, bigger box I think. A nice christmas present would be a lovely metal box with a lock and velvet lining in which I could store my prised possessions. Can't really suggest that to family though can you? Heehee.
Ok I'm going to finish up now because yet again I've started writing about sex and I seriously didn't intend for this post to be about that. Other than books and sex, I went to the dentist this morning and apart from a small filling which left the right side of my face numb for a couple of hours my teeth are in great condition. I'm supposed to eat on the other side of my mouth for the rest of today though, which will be fun considering I'm going out to dinner tonight with friends.

Upbeat

Burrr it's so cold! Yesterday I went out and bought a lovely thick cream coloured winter coat with flease lining and a big hud which I quickly wrapped around my ears while my teeth chattered. It's the kind of weather that makes you want to stay home with the curtains drawn and the heat turned up, wrapped in a blanket with the dog curled up next to you snoring away while the rain drums on the roof and it grows dark outside. I've not been doing much of that though over the past few days, I've seen quite a lot of DL and it's actually been really lovely. She came to commedy on Wednesday, and then on Thursday she came to my place after work and I made dinner, and then yesterday we spent the day shopping and went out for dinner last night to my favourite Thai restaurant. We've been managing to have quite good conversations about things and she knows that I'm seeing some one casually although she knows nothing about her, and she's going to start looking for a new place to live so that she can move out of her mum's in the new year. I also had a catch up phone conversation with my friend Sean on Thursday night and he made me really belly laugh when he did a very good impression of Borat, and told me about his gay crush. My comment in response to his embarrassment was,
"Everyone wants to get shagged up the arse at some point in their life whether they're male or female, gay or straight,"
to which he cracked up and said he was going to put it on his facebook page as one of his favourite quotes. He also said, "I really miss you. I can't talk about sex with anyone else," which was a complement, I think, and apparently he gets wine served in some of his evening lectures as part of his MA course which I thought was fantastic.

Tonight, well in about an hour actually I'm heading in to town to go for a meal and then to Soho with the girls for a birthday party, and tomorrow I have a fun packed day. In the morning I'm going to
Erotica 2007
with some friends and in the evening I'm meeting the girls from work to go to the pub. I'll try and write again tomorrow to let you know what I bought, no doubt I won't be able to resist walking past all the stalls selling sex toys without buying a little something to keep me tick tick tickking!

Bad Choices

I think that's what I've been making for a long time now. It has to stop. People only need the slightest reason to walk away, and they're gone. I put my faith in people, only to have it thrown back at me. Maybe I'm wrong to have faith, to trust people on their word, hope that everyone has good intentions. Because the simple fact is, they don't and most of the time people are just out for what they can get with no regard for anyone else. This isn't just the Cherry thing which has gone cold without any explanation. Maybe I am the explanation. I don't know. All I know is that lately I've spent more time feeling lonely, hurt or disappointed, angry or upset than I have happy. So I'm closing down the ranks, I'm not going to put myself out there again to get rejected or hurt. I'm going to stop being so open with other people and become guarded. No more casual sex, no more jumping in too fast. For now, it's just me on my own, and no one else. I've had enough. A year on from my break up with DL and I'm as lonely now as I was then. Maybe even more so having experienced more dishonest people, more selfishness. Bad choices are what it comes down to. Well no more, not if I can help it. The next woman who comes along who seriously wants to win me over is going to need a lot of strength and determination and a great deal of persevereance. I'm done with being an open book.

My Spot

Cherry is coming over on Sunday and I can't wait. Last weekend when she was here and we'd been fucking for hours, she found the spot on my body, the spot that has nothing to do with my pussy but which, if kissed makes me go crazy. We were cuddling when she found it, and then when she saw my reaction we were fucking again. It makes me rithe in pure pleasure, it makes me moan and scream, makes me gasp and lose my breath, sends my muscles in to spasms, makes me so very wet. The feeling is so intense that I can't take it for long, but it's incredible. She was thrilled that she found it, thrilled at how she made me pur. I want her to find it again. I want that feeling. That intensity that draws my mind in to one electrified pin point of pure pulsating pleasure. I want it! I crave it! It's when I feel most alive. This time I want her to do it when she's inside me. So the two spots fuse and connect and wrip me apart until I can't tell where the source of my pleasure is. She wanted me to squirt for her last time, when I was coming. I couldn't manage it, haven't yet, with her. I think if she does that, I will. Rivers of it.

I don't think it will last long, with her. I mean the whole experience of she and I being connected in a sexual way. She is bisexual you see, and there in lies the problem. I am a synic when it comes to women who love both sexes. I have been taught to be by my own experiences. So I know that given time she will pull away from me in search of something more masculine. For now though I am her "little freak", or so she likes to call me, and she is giving me something I need. For now...
And I wish she was here tonight.

Inspirational Songs

Two songs I am loving at the moment and which play constantly on my Pod are
No one
by Alicia Keys, who I'm going to see in concert in February, woo! Also
Bleeding Love
by Liona Lewis. What a voice! When I was younger my singing idol was
this woman
and although I think she's gone a little off the boil in recent years I still have mountains of respect for her tallent. I met her when I was thirteen years old at a concert and because she saw how emotional I was, instead of shaking my hand, she leaned across the security barrier and lifted me in to a hug and gave me a kiss. I cried all the way home with utter joy and disbelief. She too is touring next year and I'll be first in line for tickets when they go on sale. But I do think that Leona Lewis could be the next, and dare I say better than, devas like Celine, Mariah, Christina and Whitney. And she's british too so it's all good!
Anyway I just wanted to share those songs because they move me so much every time I listen to them. With the Alicia one you can hear the raw passion in her voice. I wonder what she went through in order to write such a song?

***

Cherry just called me saying she was feeling much better and that she had been up for hours and wanted to jump in a cab early this morning and come and wake me but decided not to in case I got annoyed. So she's heading over here now and we'll have the food for breakfast that I bought and then spend the day in bed. Aahh now that is my idea of what Sundays are made for. A sexy woman feeding me strawberries and licking the fruit juice from my throbbing clit...

Porn with breakfast

leads to two things...
A session with my battery opperated friends
and
cold toast.

Speaking of my BOF's, they seem to be failing me one by one lately, probably because of the amount of use they've had over the past few weeks. When indulging yesterday it was all I could do not to throw the whole lot out the window in frustration. Can you imagine the headlines?

"Small child is killed by being hit on the head by a box of sex toys hurled out of window from several floors up by a sexually frustrated lesbian."
Hmm...

They didn't go out the window however, and I managed to persuade my clit that the amount of stimulation she was getting from a rapidly dying vibrating bullet was more than enough to achieve an orgasm. Only just, though. I think it's time to take a trip to my favourite adult store to spend a small fortune on some new toys.

http://www.sh-womenstore.com

Also, I think I've discovered why I've been feeling off key, time to dig out the feminax, which by the way is fucking crap because it hasn't stopped my fucking stomach from cramping, nor altered my fucking bad mood!!!!!
Sorry about that, I'm ok now.
Fucking periods!!!
Going to curl up in bed with a cup of tea, a bar of chocolate and watch Eastenders.

Boo!

I have a cold!
I thought I was doing well this year, most of the people I know having had one at some point. And there I was thinking how good my immune system must be, until yesterday. I met Mr C and his girlfriend in the pub in the afternoon for food and drinks, and I noticed I started feeling a bit ropey after we headed back to mine, and this morning I feel worse. Kind of a bit fuzzy with a sore throat and sneezing. We spent almost the entire evening talking about sex last night. I don't quite kno why, but it just happened that way. I think I know more about their sex life now than I perhaps wanted too, the most amusing point is that Mr C has to stop for a rest half way through these days, heehee. I'm also leading in the slut stakes as he now has a steady girlfriend and I'm single, so I've overtaken him in the numbers of women bedded contest lol. Very childish, but highly amusing to see him looking quite concerned when I mentioned it yestterday. I also got rather concerned when he said he'd been watching a porn clip on the internet the other day and one of the women in it sounded a lot like me.
"You are joking," I said, thinking back to the home movies I'd made with DL in the past., and wondering if she'd started to hate me enough to put them on the net. So when we got back here I made him download the clip he'd seen just to check it wasn't me, which thankfully it wasn't. But then we ended up spending the rest of the evening watching lesbian porn and discussing the joys of anal sex and fisting. Hmmm.

So today I'm meeting my friend Caroline for coffee and cake and then tomorrow my busy week starts. I just hope I don't feel too ill to have to stay in bed and miss anything.

Sex Party

Women trickle in one by one at first, introduce themselves, start chatting, get a drink. Then more women arrive, thicker and faster now as the time to start playing games is almost here. Women take up their positions, the games begin. Women start kissing, sharing fantasies, taking off clothing. They eventualy move through to the various other rooms and after some time you follow.

Women on beds, women on floors, their bodies intertwined, kissing, touching, licking, sucking, fucking, moaning, panting, sliding, rubbing, bighting, spanking. And you, you are in the middle of it all, both nipples in other peoples mouths, two pairs of hands exploring your body, each of your hands and your mouth on some one else's body. You are being fucked, and getting fucked, sometimes you know who by, other times not.

Every once in a while you stroll through to the kitchen, naked, to get refreshments, and to go to the bathroom and freshen up. That's when you are acosted by a beautiful mediterranean woman who appears to be alone and not involved in the play. She touches your face, your skin, your breasts, lets her hands slide down your body telling you how beautiful you are, how soft your skin is and how she is finding it difficult to converse with the other women because her English is not good. So you start conversing in her language, not yours, and when you struggle to find the words you kiss, tongues find each other, bodies press close. She is still fully dressed, you are not. She pushes you against the counter, grinding, thrusting her hips. You fumble to put down your drink, take her hands and guide her through to a bedroom. There is no space on the bed, so you lie on the floor and start fucking her. She is open, wet, willing, curvatious and supple. Your fingers glide with ease, she thrusts harder, you fuck faster. Then you are on your back and she is between your legs, her head buried. There are women in the doorway watching you and also the people on the bed. Some one comes up behind your mediterranean lover and spanks her arse. She moans and you shudder with pleasure. Later you are in the other bedroom up against the wall, she is fucking you hard and you are holding on to her, moaning, arching your back and lifting your hips. After a while you slide a hand between her legs and you are rocking, fucking, inside each other simultaniously. Then suddenly she lets herself go and gushes everywhere, hot, wet, sticky ejaculation. It takes you both by surprise and the women watching murmer in appreciation. Then you are on a bed with her, still inside each other while two women who are lying next to you do the same.

At a later point you lie on the floor of a room, watching three women on a bed. One is fucking the other two with a dildo on each thigh. It's hot, very hot. There is a woman on the floor next to you also watching, and you can feel the heat of her excitement. You lie back and place a hand between your own legs, letting her watch this too.

Later still there is a group of you lying in bed, so close together you are skin to skin. You talk and laugh and try to sleep although it is somewhat impossible. But it is nice to feel the warmth of a body next to you, some one's arm around your waste as you lie with your back to them in a drowsy state of bliss, your mind reeling at the things you have just experienced.

Those are just some of the highlights of last night...
What an incredible set of memories!

oh my god it's tomorrow!

I've hand washed my sexy black dress...
I've decided on shoes...
I've been out and purchased 2 bottles of wine and a bottle of vodka to help overcome my nerves... (think that's a bit excessive?)
Tomorrow I will pluck, preen, expholiate and moisturise to make sure my skin looks and feels gorgeous...
All i have to do now is decide on jewelery for the event. The dress is black as I said and I'll wear gold eye shadow and lip gloss, so silver jewelery doesn't really cut it, and I don't have much gold. Hmm... Maybe my pink stones? Or clear cristal?
I spoke to some one online yesterday who has been before and is going again. She too was very nervous but assured me that everyone is very friendly and you won't be on your own for long. *grin*
All I have to do now is get there looking fuckable...

In other news, I've had two successive dinner dates cancelled in a row. Yesterday my friend DT and her boyfriend had to cancel because she was working late, and today I was supposed to go to an ex coleagues house for dinner, but he texted this morning saying he'd completely forgotten and could we rearrange. Lol!
*sniffs own arm pits to see if they are omiting an unpleasant odour of some sort).

So tonight, it's me, Una and dinner for one in front of the tv as no one seems to be going out.
Tomorrow night however hopefully it'll be dinner for many, and it'll be me they're feasting on!
haha!

Not so commic weirdos

Yesterday was my day for attracting the more strange members of our society. I got on the bus to come home, which is thankfully only about a five minute journey, and straight away this guy started saying, “How are ya then? How are ya?” very loudly. I smiled and said “fine thank you,” and he jumped up and gave me his seat which was very nice of him. He then sat behind me and every minute or so tapped my shoulder and said, “how are ya then, how are ya?” Then he bent down to the dog and started talking to her, saying things like, “’Av a fackin’ drink then, that’s what I say, ‘av a fackin’ drink!” I sat there silently praying he would quietly go away, and when it was my stop I willed him to stay on the bus which he thankfully did.

Last night I went to a comedy night at a very well known gay pub in London. The group of girls I meet during the week went last Wednesday but because I was up north I couldn’t go. They’d said how funny the comedians were, but honestly I haven’t laughed so much in a long time. Last night they were all women, two gay and one straight I think. The compare, I can’t remember her name, Zoe something was great, I could have watched her all night. The first act wasn’t all that great but I think it was because she was nervous and therefore her delivery suffered. She was very aggressive and it was almost like you could see her willing you to laugh at what she was saying which had the opposite effect. She got a mixed reaction from the audience. But the headline act, Kitty Flannigan (think that’s how you spell it) was absolutely fucking hilarious!!! She had me bent double in my seat, crying with laughter from the minute she walked on stage. By the end of the night my throat was hoarse from so much belly laughing and I’m sure my mascara was streaked with the tears. An absolutely fantastic night, I’m going again next week. Also my crush was there and it seemed like she made quite an effort to talk to me. I felt a bit awkward at first but then told myself not to be ridiculous and it was fine after that.

So then, on the way home, weirdo number two came along. I’ve been feeling a little anxious about coming home late at night, especially as it’s starting to get dark earlier now. But my area is a nice one and I walk along a main road so have been feeling reasonably ok with it. Last night I didn’t get to the tube station until midnight though so there was hardly anybody around. I started walking down the road, and this guy just came out of nowhere at the side of me and started saying, “here doggy doggy,” to Una, but not in a nice way, in a horrible kind of menacing way. You know when you can just tell, there are some people who are weird, sort of ok can deal with you kind of weird, and then there are those who are weird like nasty dangerous very unnerving kind of weird. Well he was one of them. He repeatedly called the dog, so I speeded her up and began to walk very quickly, baring in mind I was in heels. A bit further down the road I passed a couple of people and felt better, but then when they had gone I heard the weird guy shout something from a little way behind me. That’s when my fast walk turned in to a fast jog, and I fumbled in my bag for my phone and called F and told her to talk to me because there was a strange man following me. Thankfully I got home without incident, but it really shook me and I need to rethink how I’m going to get home now that winter is drawing in. It wasn’t at all a nice feeling and I know the next time I have to make that journey I’ll be super edgy. Ended up staying up until two talking to F on the phone, having one of our wonderful debates, this time about left or right wing politics, black culture in the UK, and prejudice among other things. I love talking to her, and things got so tense, in a good way, that we both ended up feeling rather horny and digressing to talking about fucking each other. She doesn’t have classes tomorrow an she’s threatened to come and give me a warm up session in preparation for Saturday night, not sure if she will though, haha.

Guess I’d better get back to the job hunting, joy oh joy!

Officially Unemployed, for now!

Well this is the first day I haven't really had anything to take my mind off the fact that I am A not in work, and B have to start watching my money again. Damn! I got up this morning and applied for another job before I even had breakfast, and have been doing other stuff that needs sorting out, as well as finishing off my book. I'm bored. Yep, already, I'm bored. I'm going to apply for as many jobs as possible because if I'm not back doing some kind of work soon I'll start going crazy. My brain does not do well when it's idle.

What has been keeping me busy though...
Listening to three new albums I got yesterday. Jill Scott The Real Thing, Jennifer Lopez Brave and Lil Mo Pain and Paper. They're all good, but Jill Scott is the bomb as usual. I'm so excited about going to see her in December, even more so after listening to the new album. I particularly enjoyed the track called Celibacy Blues because it's totally my situation at the moment hahha.
Although saying that F called me last night and we ended up having extremely freaky totally amazing phone sex, although I didn't think it was going to happen at one point because every toy I tried to use kept dying on me which is not good. Finally got it sorted though and gave the neighbours something to listen too lol. She's so fucking nasty and I love it. She wants to come see me again soon and I'm definitely willing to accomodate. The only problem is is she's stone and last time she gave but wouldn't receive, and I really enjoy fucking as well as getting fucked, so I'll have to do some gentle persuading and see where it gets me. God I really have to think about something else other than sex! It's being at home all day that does it. Yeah right, who am I kidding, I think about it no matter where I am, especially if it's in a place where I really shouldn't be. I had a conversation with a friend over dinner one night last week and we were talking about our sex drives. She amazed me because she said that she can go months without even really thinking about sex let alone having it, and it's usually her girlfriend who instigates it and she herself isn't really that bothered. I was like, "damn I can't even go a week without masturbating, I start getting tense and irritable if I don't come." She laughed and said I should go and see a doctor, which is ironic as that's what she's training to become. We concluded that we are at opposite ends of the libidinal spectrum, but I do often wonder if other women think about it as much as I do. I have certainly met some who do, but still I wonder if my brain is more like a man's in that sense. I guess I'm just freaky and I make no appologies for that. Only six days to go until Saturday and the party.

In other news, today marks the anniversary of when DL and I got together three years ago, and in a couple of weeks it'll be the anniversary of our separation too. I wanted to email her today to acknowledge that I remembered and I was thinking about her and hoping she is doing ok, but I haven't because I think it would do more harm than good. It's difficult because by not hearing from me I know she'll be thinking I just don't give a fuck about her when that really isn't true, but I think the best course of action, for her more than anyone is to put some distance between us. We're supposed to be going to the York Lesbian Arts Festival in a few weeks, and I'm going to have to email her and gently tell her I'm not going. It would mean us spending the weekend together and staying overnight and that would be a recipe for disaster. I do hope she's ok though and I think today should be about remembering the good times rather than the bad. How happy I was when I met her, how quickly we fell in love, how I seduced her with my charms, heehee, how I told her my feelings and asked her out and how she accepted. Those blissful first few weeks, our first kiss, walking back from a bar one night holding hands feeling dizzy with love and happiness because we'd just told her friends that we were together. The first time she told me she loved me, lying on her single bed in our shared house. How we later made love for the first time on the same bed, one of the most perfect moments of my life. And everything that followed, the dates, the holidays, the restaurants, the fun we had, the plans we made, moving in to our own home together, the gifts, the sex. I remember it all, and even though towards the end it was shit and it was the most difficult break up of my life, I'll never forget her for the happiness she gave me.I loved her then, and I love her now, very much so, just in a different way, and whatever happens, whether we end up being friends, or if we go through life without each other, I'll never forget. I'm mentally sending her the tightest hugs in the world and all the love and strength I can muster, in the hope that she too will remember the happier times we shared, and find it within herself to pick herself up and move on, and find happiness elsewhere. She deserves it.

My week up north and my week ahead

My week up north was lovely. I had time to relax, I got my hair newly cut and styled, went for a massage and had my eyebrows waxed. I bought some new clothes, went for dinner with friends, stayed with Kim for a couple of days and in the process of all that managed to send off a couple of job applications. I returned to London on Friday afternoon and only had a couple of hours to get ready to go out to meet H and S for S's 30th birthday drinks. I stayed over at their place that night as it was a long way to get back, and came home on Saturday morning. Had breakfast, a much needed orgasm and showered before again going out. This time I was going to meet some women from GB for dinner, most of whom I'd never met before. I waited outside Covent Garden station for 45 minutes not spotting anyone and convinced I'd got the time wrong or something. I was just about to leave and go home when one of the women called my mobile and we found each other. We went for dinner and drinks and I had a lovely time. I had the dog with me so didn't go clubbing but to be honest I was shattered from all the traveling I'd been doing and came home and slept like a log. Today I've not been doing much, just reading lots, watching some TV and later on Baby G is coming over to spend some time before she goes to New York later this week.

While I was at H and S's we watched a replay of Diary of a Call Girl, a docu-soap that's been on the tv, about the escapades of a call girl. In this episode she was being paid to attend an adult sex party with a client, and watching it made me really really nervous about the upcoming party on Saturday. I know it's only tv but it made me start to think about everything, and now I'm worrying about what to wear, whether I'll be confident enough to approach people or if I'll just go in to my shell because I'm so nervous. I worry that no one will find me attractive and I won't get any action, and about how I'll feel being semi nude or even naked in front of lots of other women who's bodies I'm sure will be much better than mine. I've been really good this week with food but don't seem to have lost any weight, I don't know what underwear to put on, whether to go with the smooth shaved look or whether having some hair is more preferable, god there's so much to consider! All of this is mingling with the excitement I feel about going. H and S are dog sitting for me which is great, and they're almost as excited as I am. As the time is getting closer the more I'm starting to feel aprehensive, although obviously it's a huge turn on that I'm actually doing it. The common comment among the friends that I've told seems to be "gosh I wish I had the balls to do something like that," and it's such a huge fantasy for me that it almost feels unreal that I'm actually going to go and take part in something like that. I just hope it works out in my favour!

Right now though the most exciting thing I'm doing today is reading Snowflower and the Secret Fan, which is actually great. Another book I would strongly recommend, one I've just finished, is A thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hoseini. Any recommendations from my readers?

Toyless

On Saturday when I was packing my stuff to go up north, I was in quite a lot of discomfort owing to my period. So it didn't occur to me to even think about packing a toy or too to get me through the week.
Now my period has virtually finished, and the pain is being increasingly replaced with the horn!
I realised with horror yesterday that I don't have anything with me to get me off, and to be honest I find it increasingly difficult to come without added stimulation these days.

*Counts days until time to go home*
*Looks incredibly worried*
*Heads to kitchen to find suitable looking fruit/vegetable*

Damn...!!!

Plucking up the courage

Last night I went to my usual Tuesday meeting. I was standing outside the tube waiting for the girl i was supposed to be meeting and it got to about fifteen minutes after the time we were supposed to hook up. I'd tried to call her and kept getting diverted so figured she was still underground. Just as I was starting to get concerned she came out of the station, kissed my cheek and appologised for being late. Right behind her was my crush. I totally didn't expect that and was pleasantly surprised, although I found myself being slightly annoyed that they had turned up together which is totaly rediculous because the other girl is in a relationship. Anyway we walked to the bar and en route stopped at Coffee Cake and Kink. I'd never been in there and I didn't realise it was a cafe combined with a sex shop until we stopped outside and I asked what the Kink was. "I'll show you," said the girl who isn't my crush and in we went. So there I was looking at whips and sex toys, different dildos and butt plugs with my crush standing right there. Hint, never go in to a sex shop with some one you fancy, it's very awkward and it makes you feel very uncomfortable, especially as I kept visualising using the dildos, whips etc on her, imagining her expression as I fucked her. So on we went to the bar and ordered food, my stomach lurching when our hands touched when we exchanged money. I sound so silly, but she is unbelievably attractive, you know when you just feel like some one is too beautiful? They stand out a mile in a room and they don't even realise it? Well she's like that. Last night she seemed more chatty than usual, kept asking me questions and saying how much she enjoyed the party. I can't tell if she even likes me in that way, I'm not sure whether I'm reading too much in to things which I probably am. But when on the way out she took my hand to guide me through some tables, I nearly fainted. She has the softest skin in the world and I didn't want her to let go. We walked arm in arm all the way back to the tube and on departing she kissed me on both cheeks, her hair brushing against my face. I want to pluck up the courage to ask her on a date, but I'm not sure I have the nerve. I just feel like she's way out of my league, plus we see each other socially and if she turned me down I would feel incredibly embarrassed every time I saw her. I met up with the other girl today for lunch, I'll have to give her a name, and kind of told her about my crush and she said that she would do some subtle digging for me to find out if she's interested, but I'm not the most patient of people. I'm resisting the urge to text her and ask how her day is going. So what to do... Should I go for it? Or just leave it for a while and see if she makes a move? Advice please!

Fun times

Christ, I haven’t stopped this week. On Monday I was overjoyed to see my friend Kim waiting for me at reception in the building where I work. I came through the door and there she was, and we had the longest hug ever and it was lovely to see her. We spent the whole afternoon together, chatting, eating great food and shopping. We went to a fab Italian restaurant in Soho, wondered around and bought make up, and then I insisted upon taking her to First Out for coffee and cake only to find it was closed. So we ended up at the coffee shop in Silver Moon bookshop, where hilariously while I was in the loo, a woman recognised Una and said to Kim, “Haven’t I seen her in First Out?” Kim replied, “Yes you probably have, her owner goes there a lot.” I love how the dog gets noticed but I don’t, haha. It’s because she’s so bloody gorgeous that’s why! Anyway we didn’t stop talking all afternoon, catching up on everything that’s been happening, baring in mind we hadn’t seen each other for three months which is the longest we’ve ever gone without meeting up. Anyway it was fab fab fab to see her and I was sad to leave her and miss her lots! That evening I made my way home and didn’t do a lot, just read a little and went to bed.

Tuesday I took Una to the vets after work and then went out in the evening to the usual Tuesday group meeting. We were small in numbers this week and so decided to go to a bar rather than stay in First Out, and I think everyone had a bit to drink. I also invited the girls to my house warming on Friday, one in particular I was hoping would come because I have a rather large crush on her and she’s very, very attractive and I would quite like to kiss her for hours, hold her hand while walking down the street, cook her some good food, take her to bed and stay awake all night touching and tasting every inch of her body and then hold her while she sleeps in my arms. Anyway that’s besides the point… I left the bar feeling exhausted and crawled in to bed at around midnight.

Wednesday I tried to stay awake at work and then went out again with the same group of girls, lucky me, to a different bar this time. This one was quieter and more chilled and after a couple of diet cokes I gave in and spent the rest of the evening drinking Bailies and trying not to make eyes at the hot hot one. Did I mention that I wanted to kiss her for hours, hold her hand………

Thursday didn’t go especially well. DL called me in the morning on her way to work and we had a huge fight. Basically her birthday is on Monday and she’d said she didn’t want to do anything at the weekend and that she was intending to work instead. She’d been insisting about this for weeks and weeks and I’d asked her if she was sure countless times. So I went ahead and made plans for this weekend, and on Wednesday she dropped into the conversation that we were apparently going for dinner on Saturday night. “No we’re not,” I said, “I’ve made plans because you said you didn’t want to do anything.” So then she flipped out and said that she obviously wasn’t important, blah blah blah, and gave me a huge guilt trip, and to be honest I was so angry because she can be so damn manipulative. Not wanting to do anything turned in to, “I wanted to spend the whole weekend with you,” and I ended up hanging up feeling pissed off and upset and running late for work. We’d planned to see each other that evening to go to the cinema to see Atonement, so we stuck to that and she resigned herself to the fact that because she hadn’t communicated her feelings properly she wasn’t going to get her way this time, it still didn’t stop her feeling sorry for herself though. Jesus Christ, sometimes she can be intolerable. Anyway we had a nice evening even though I was feeling emotional, the film was great, but it didn’t end too well. We were in the car on the way back to my place when I got a text from BB. I’ve basically decided to leave that situation alone because she couldn’t give me what I wanted and I didn’t think I could really be friends with her, and when she texted me all the emotions of the day I’d been holding in just came to the surface and I sat there with tears streaming down my face and staring out the window so that DL wouldn’t see me crying. Of course she picked up that there was something wrong and I said it was nothing, just that it was about some one I’d been sort of seeing. When we got back to my place she hugged me goodbye and that started me off again, and then she started crying and saying that she couldn’t handle me being with other women, that it cut her up and she didn’t know what to do. To be honest I think that we are going to have to have a break from the friendship for at least six months because although she tries to pretend she’s ok with everything, she’s really not, and it’s a year on and she’s still not even beginning to get over the relationship. I know it must sound cruel the fact that we still meet up and spend time together, but I really do think that the break has to be her idea. I’ve tried putting distance between us before with disastrous consequences, and I think the more I push her away the more she’ll keep coming back. So I want it to be her decision because then she’ll be in control of her feelings and maybe taking charge of things will help her get herself back on track. I hope so at least. Anyway after a long chat she left and I went to bed.

On Friday I woke up not feeling much better and went in to work feeling like shit. I sat there wanting to cry for most of the morning, god knows where all this is coming from, I must be due on my period because that’s the only reason I can account for feeling so fucking sensitive about everything. Anyway on Friday afternoon I had my flat to clean and prepare for the party, and the excitement of the night ahead cheered me up. It was a lovely evening, all my friends came and also some people from work, the girls from the gay group including the one I really, really fancy. I put on a bit of food and wore a skirt with a fairly low cut top and sandals, the chocolate fountain came out and the wine was flowing, so much so that towards the end of the night I ended up falling asleep on the bathroom floor, woops. Thankfully the crush had left by then so she didn’t see the inebriated me.

So yesterday I woke up not being able to lift my head off the pillow. It felt like a thousand led balls were rolling around in my brain, and after a cup of tea and some tablets I felt only slightly better. I finally got up and cleared away all the empty bottles to be recycled, and did the washing up and hoovered and mopped the floors. That afternoon my blogger friend F was arriving for the weekend so I wanted the place to look nice. Let me give you a brief history of me and F so that you’re up to speed.

We met through blogging just over a year and a half ago, she was living in another country and I was with DL. So we were friends for ages, and then a little while after I finished with DL we started to cross the line of intimacy on the phone. By this time she’d moved to the UK to study and we went on in this fashion for a bit. We stopped talking for a while because I felt she was getting a little intense and I was still quite cut up about the break up, so we sort of fell out and didn’t speak for a few months. When I moved to London I sent her an email saying I hoped that she was ok and that I thought of her, and she got back in touch and we’ve gradually built the friendship back up. She’s somewhat older than myself and we’re from completely different backgrounds and cultures, so it makes for an interesting friendship. We spend hours on the phone debating about all kinds of things, and we have regular and great phone sex. So anyway we’d been talking about meeting for a while now so that we could put faces to voices etc, and this weekend was the date we’d arranged. I was pretty nervous having shared things on the phone but never having met her before, and for the first couple of hours I was a bit quiet and giggly and she kept laughing and saying how nervous I looked. Anyway we ordered take out and chatted for a while and we were both quite tired so went to bed fairly early. We stayed awake and chatted for a while, and I was surprised at how shy and awkward I felt. I’d not backward in coming forward as we all know, but when she’d make a comment eluding to something sexual we’d talked about I’d go red and laugh nervously, even though I just wanted to be as open and forward as she was being inside. After a while of talking I turned on my side and she spooned me, cuddling in close. I think we were both thinking the same thing because after a while of being restrained her hand crept around my waste and the rest as they say, is history. Two orgasms later I was shattered and starting to fall asleep as she was talking to me. I remember muttering my apologies and saying that she’d knocked me out and then I was away with the faeries. We woke quite early this morning and I made tea and we lay in bed chatting for hours. Until I said, “I really want to play with your nipples,” and then it started all over again, the poor neighbours. Feeling satiated we eventually got out of bed at about three, showered and had some food. She left around five and texted a little later to say she’d had a wonderful time. I have to agree. So now I’m catching up with emails and obviously blogging and getting ready for my last week at work. Boohoo! Tomorrow is DL’s birthday so we’re going out for dinner, I hope it goes without incident.

Going for it!

So here's the thing... I've had a couple of reacurring fantasies for a long time now. One is me and another woman fucking while being watched, by women of course. Another is being fucked by several different women at the same time. I tried to have a threesome when I was in colege but the mood wasn't right and it didn't feel too good so I stopped it as we were about to get in to it. It was with a woman I was seeing casually at the time and a friend of hers, and I just didn't find the friend attractive and she really wanted to play a lot with me and so it just didn't work. Ever since then I've had these fantasies, and they've fueled many an orgasm in the past. When DL and I were together and we would talk dirty in bed, the main thing that used to get me off was to imagine that there was some one watching us fucking and to have her join in part way through. The thought of it used to drive me mad, and I even did some scouting around on the net for a while looking for places we could go to meet people who wanted to swap partners. But although she said she would do it I didn't feel that she was totally in to it and so we never did anything about it.

Now, however, I am free and single, and when I got to london I found out about something that could potentially blow my mind if it turns out to be good. I'm not going to give the finer details of the events, but basically I saw an advert online for an all female sex party. Apparently they happen every couple of months and the last time it was taking place I really wanted to go but bottled it, then regretted not going straight away. Some one I know went and I spoke to her afterwards about what it was like and she said it was totally amazing, very classy and friendly and in a lovely location with sexy, attractive and friendly women, some of whom watched and others played at anything from masturbation to group sex. I was really pissed off that I didn't get to go and was mad at myself and swore the next time it came around I would go. So... I was online late last week and up popped the advert yet again. I knew what it would say and still I read it three times, and then sent an email to the organiser stating my interest. I got a lovely response back, and today we spoke on the phone to arrange the finer points of the night. All I have to do now is make the payment that is required to cover costs towards the hire of the location and everything that will be provided at the party. So I'm sitting here with the details, and I will make the payment tomorrow. I am both terrified and excited. I'm not intimidated by the fact that I could potentially end up having lots of fun with several different women all in one place, I find that part incredibly arousing. it's the going and not knowing anyone that I'm nervous about. I spoke to a friend of mine earlier today and she said she may be interested in coming too, and I'm kind of hoping she does because I think I'd feel a lot less nervous if I know some one else there. I am totally excited about the possibilities that I will be faced with, even if I just got to watch and didn't get any action it would be something I've never done before and which I know would completely turn me on. I won't be able to discuss what happens too much on here as there's obviously confidentiality issues, as a lot of the women who attend are proffessionals high up in their field and their privacy needs to be honoured and respected, but I just had to tell some one that I was going and how excited I am, and it's not exactly something you call your family or most of your friends about now is it? The only other thing I'm conscious about is my body, so I'm going on a strict diet for the next few weeks and even if I lose a couple of pounds it'll be something, and I'll hopefully feel good enough about my body to walk around at least semi nude, and won't be shy about getting naked with person or persons involved. This is the most daring thing I've ever done sexually and I'm hardly a virgin by any stretch of the imagination, and I'm utterly thrilled by the prospect.

In other news, had a fantastic few days catching up with friends. Thursday night I went to the relaunch of the Glass bar which was lovely, it was a warm evening and there were scores of women outside on the pavement drinking and talking, and music and more people inside. Although it's a very small venue and could do with a lot more work to get it looking ship shape, it's a fantastic women only space, the only one of its kind in London except for the Candy Bar and it was great to see so much support from the community. Didn't have too much of a late one as I had to be up for work on friday, and on Friday night DL came over and we watched Notes on a Scandal and got take out. Saturday my friend Simon was in town on his way to go and live in Paris, so we spent the afternoon together and had lunch and drinks outside in the sunshine and caught up on each others lives. In the evening i went to the bbq of an ex house mate DT, where I and most of the people there got very very drunk. I knew it was time to go home when the chair I was sitting on started feeling like I was on a fair ground ride and the room started spinning out of control. Don't really remember getting home to bed but woke up with a hang over unsurprisingly in the morning and figured I'd drank two bottles of wine to myself, lol. So I spent the day tidying up the messs that was my kitchen and doing the weeks worth of washing up that was there, God I miss having a dish washer. In the evening Baby G and another friend of ours CC came over and we ended up having a really girly night, cooking and chatting and putting the world to rights.. They left just after ten and I went to bed still feeling rough, then it was back to work today. I have a busy week ahead too, have gay groups tomorrow and Wednesday evenings, Thursday I have the job interview and DT is coming round for dinner and then my friend Rosie is coming to stay for the weekend which will be lovely.

I also got told today that they won't be extending my contract at work past the end of September, so unless I land this permenant position by some miracle, I'll be out of a job in a few weeks until I find something else. So I'm going to devote any spare time I have to job hunting and keep my fingers crosssed for the position I'm going for on Thursday. Not working for a little while might not be so bad as I'm considering a trip to New York in October. Baby G has vaginismus and so is going out there to get treatment and CC is going with her. I mentioned before that Baby G's boyfriend is already there through work and they're staying at his apartment, and Baby G is going to ask him if he wouldn't mind letting me stay as well. It'll be great if it all works out, we can have a girlie shopping, site seeing and coctails holiday which I'm in desperate need of at the moment, plus I get to be there supporting my best friend through what will be a traumatic and difficult few weeks for her.
I'm off to cook dinner now as it's getting late and I'm getting hungry, and silent Witness is on TV at nine which I want to watch. No doubt just as I'm getting in to it the phone will ring and that'll be it for the night which is what usually tends to happen when I try to watch something on tv lol.