Wednesday, March 22, 2006

It’s true what they say about the older you get, the quicker the time goes, I’m losing track of days
Can’t even remember Tuesday hardly. DL didn’t have to go in to work, so she took the dog to be cut and I did some work. We didn’t end up going to the LGB
because we were both shattered, so curled up in bed for cuddles and to watch an episode of series two of 24, which was lovely. Yesterday I had a very productive
day. DL got up early and went to work at a local high school, and called me up on the way sounding very stressed and upset because she’d gotten lost and
was running late. I tried to calm her down, and then when I got off the phone, got up and had breakfast before going off to lectures. I’m really pleased
actually, because when DL wasn’t at work, she would meet me from lectures and often drop me off at uni in the car to save me taking the bus, so I haven’t
done it for a while, and so yesterday I was pretty nervous. Everything went fine though, both yesterday and today, with no problems at all so it’s all

Anyway, after uni ended I came back home and fussed the dog, and then set about cleaning up the place. The dog makes so much mess, and I’ll really have
to get used to keeping on top of the cleaning when I get my guide dog, because it’s like as soon as you’ve mopped the floor, he’ll come in from his walk
and leave prints and make the place smell, so I’m constantly spraying air freshener and there’s a towel at the door for when he’s been for a walk. Anyway,
did the washing up, and kept getting interrupted by the phone ringing, although one call was from my lady ringing in her lunch hour, so that was lovely.
We had another call from a school wanting DL to cover next week as they were short staffed, but it turns out she can’t do it because something better came
along. While we were chatting on the phone she told me that a school have asked the agency she’s with to put a candidate forward to work full time with
special needs kids for the rest of the academic year, and they’ve put her forward. So she’s got to go for an assessment tomorrow, and if she gets it she’ll
have a permanent position until July, which is wonderful. It’s either all or nothing though! Anyway, I digress…

After washing up, I cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, and then hoovered and mopped everywhere, the dog following me constantly. At one point, I was busy
and he took advantage of that and jumped up to lie on the sofa, which was where I found him several minutes later. Little sod! HE knows he’s not allowed,
but does the whole, “I’m a cute puppy let me stay here,” kind of thing, which of course, doesn’t work with me lol. Yeah right! After I finished cleaning
I settled down to work, but got extremely pissed off as the computer crashed and I lost the improvements to my essay I’d made, and so left it for a while.

When DL got back from work, we took the dog to a park a little way away, which has a children’s play area and a stream and a water fall. It’s really pretty
and the dog enjoyed himself while we walked around holding hands and enjoying the somewhat chilly afternoon. Spent most of the evening working again, and
we showered together and settled down at around eleven thirty.

Today I’ve been to uni again, but missed the first lecture because I was so tired. When DL wakes up to go to work I’m woken too and find it difficult to
get back to sleep, so need to catch up over the weekend. Don’t think we’re going out tonight, we’re being really antisocial this week because we’re both
busy, so apologies to any friends reading this that wonder where we’ve disappeared too. Anyway, I’m going to finish here, because I’ve just heard the car
pull up outside, which means she’s back, and I want cuddles!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Bloody live journal!
, I’m annoyed, I just wrote an entire post and it disappeared without actually posting, and I didn’t do anything wrong!

Anyway, I’ll write it all again…

Sorry I’ve been lame and not posted for a few days, the weekend has gone nowhere. Friday was spent shopping for new clothes, which I couldn’t find, and
then in the evening DL and I went to Climax, the uni’s gay night, with friends. Had a good time, although I remained sober because I had work to do on
Saturday, but we got hot dogs on the way home which made up for the lack of alcohol.

Saturday, we woke late and I worked most of the day on uni stuff. Then in the evening, I cooked a romantic meal for us both, which consisted of thai chicken,
which is chicken marinaded in lemon and lime juice, garlic, chilli, spring onions, ginger, and lemon grass, coated with sesame seeds, and served with rice
and Chinese vegetables. This was followed by home made cinnamon and apple crumble with icecream, which went down a treat. After we ate, we intended to
settle down and watch a film, but ended up in bed having red hot sex, until the early hours, and the film was long forgotten.

Sunday, woke up at eleven, did my shift, then dad arrived at five with the dog in toe. He still hadn’t gotten around to having the dog’s hair cut, so he
was all long and soft and curly, and DL took him to get trimmed today while I was at uni, and he looks soooooooo cute. Sunday evening we took my dad to
a Chinese buffet restaurant in town, which he loves, he’s as mad about Chinese food as we are so it went down well. Then we came back here, too full of
food to go to the pub and have drinks, and played a dvd quiz game, of which I came a poor last, and after watching trashy tv, we went to bed.

On Monday morning, DL got her first call from the agency she’s now working with, to go to a primary school about fifteen miles away, so she was up bright
and early, and when she gets up I find it difficult to sleep without her, so we were both awake from around seven. I got up and made her a packed lunch,
while she got dressed and got directions off the internet. She was so nervous bless her, but I tried to calm her as much as I could, because I knew she’d
be fine. We kept in touch through text messages during the day, and she really enjoyed being at the school. Dad ended up staying until around five, because
I was alone, so while I was at uni in the afternoon, we mooched around not doing a lot, but said he just enjoyed spending time here, so I didn’t feel so
bad. Then DL got home and told us all about her day, and after that he left. He really didn’t wanna leave the dog here for the week, said he would be lonely
without him, but he’s two weeks overdue his stay, so we insisted that we kept him. Worked until late last night, and got up early again this morning, DL
didn’t have to go to work though. Tomorrow DL is going to a high school all day, and I have uni and work to do, and the dog for company. He’s now snoring
away in his bed, bless him, I have my two favourite people in the whole world in one room, it can’t be bad!

Oh, and I also got a call from one of the organisations I'm hoping to travel to Africa with, and they think it best I travel to Cape Town to teach. Anyone
ever been?

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Creative couch potato!
Wow, where has this week gone? Can't believe it's Friday tomorrow!
I've had a very exciting few days, in the creative sense. No, not creative in the bedroom as I know you're all thinking, I mean creative in the written
form. I've had this idea for a book in my head for about two years, and keep attempting to start writing it, and then leaving it because other things in
my life take pressidence. However, the uni are launching a new creative writing magazine, and I got an email saying that the deadline is next week, so
I thought that even if I didn't end up submitting, it was a valid excuse to leave work alone for a while and do some writing. So, after getting started
on an essay to quash the guilt a little, I settled down to thoroughly develop the characters. When that was done, I got to work on the prologue, which
I had started, but which needed improving and extending. So after two and a bit afternoons of work, I'm now at the end of chapter one and 4580 words in,
and decided to submit it to the magazine to see if it gets in. As is my style, it's quite graphic in terms of sex and violence, but it's not all fucking
and there is a plot with some sex here and there. Anyway, who knows, I'm not getting my hopes up, but am glad it's pushed me a little to write more.

Apart from that, went to pirate writers on Monday night to watch people perform. I didn't sing because I only found out it was happening a couple of hours
before, and had to do work and so didn't have time to prepare anything, so just watched which was lovely. On Tuesday we received the wonderful news that
Lucy got the job at the teaching agency she applied for, and so now is a temping teaching assistant whenever schools are short, which is cool. Go mrs,
i'm proud of you! Yesterday was pretty uneventful really, and today I've been to uni, the gym, and tonight went to Open Space, which is another open mic
night at the uni, but in a cafe instead of a bar, so I'm now wide awake and on a caffeine high.

Tomorrow the plan is to go shopping, possibly to the gym again, do work, and we're going out tomorrow night, so should be a good day. Will post more over
the weekend, probably with yet another hang over.

Oh and I can't stop playing Corine Baily Rae's new album, it's great! If you haven't got it, go get it!

Monday, March 13, 2006

The weekend.
I'm not going to post about why I felt like shit yesterday, or at least not yet anyway, because it would mean going in to lots of painful details that I'm
not willing to do at the moment. But anyway, I had a cry yesterday and feel better this morning, so will now back track from Thursday.

Nothing very exciting happened during the daytime, but our night out was brilliant. DL and I met up with Doofus, Dora, Helen and Amy, and after going for
drinks at a bar, and minus Doofus, we went on to a club. Everyone got wasted to some extent, I think Helen and I were probably about the most sober ones,
although still tipsy. Anyway we ended up having such a good time that we stayed until the club closed, which for me is a rarety, as I really have to be
in the mood for clubbing, I guess that night I was. Tried to get food from a take out near the club, but it was rammed, so we all took a cab, but ended
up getting out half way home to catch another, because we had the craziest driver in the world. He drove like he was on something, slamming his breaks
and then speeding off, until we were all falling all over the place and decided to pay and get out. Anyway, we made it home in one piece, and DL was pissed
off that she couldn't get food, so I, being the devoted girlfriend that I am, made her chili with garlic bread, that she devoured in her drunken state.

Woke up at around nine thirty, not having got to sleep until about three thirty, and didn't feel too bad. We made love, and then fell back to sleep until
around twelve, which wasn't a good idea as we were supposed to be arriving at my mother's house mid afternoon. We ended up arriving at six thirty, she
wasn't too impressed lol. Felt awful that day, I was so hung over, which was crazy because I wasn't that drunk really, and was greeted in the evening by
my step sister arriving and jumping all over me and demanding to be tickled. She's only ten, and she's adorable, and it was lovely to see her! Even if
my head did feel like it had an army parading around inside it. Consequently we went to bed fairly early Friday night.

Woke up at around nine, and saw mum for a while before she went off to work. We had decided to make the most of the day, by catching up with, and introducing
DL to members of the family that she hasn't already met, and so spent most of the day visiting with relatives. After mum had gone to work, we got dressed,
and then set about fixing a lock on the bedroom door. All day I was slightly nervous, thinking that it would go one of two ways: she would either flip
out completely and rip the thing off, or not mention it. Thankfully, she didn't mention it, and she must have noticed because we had her room and she slept
in there, so if she didn't it was a miracle. I'm thinking that the reason she didn't say anything however, was because on the Sunday morning she approached
me very sheepishly, and asked to borrow more money to pay off the rest of her debt to the loan company, which I wasn't too impressed about, so I'm guessing
she'll let it lie. Either that, or I'll go back to find it's been removed.

Anyway, getting back to Saturday. After getting totally lost owing to my mother's painfully bad directions, we arrived at our first port of call, which
was to see my uncle John, Aunty Pat and cousin Katie. We stayed for about an hour an a half, my uncle John having gotten a number of dvd's ready to show
to DL, which were all of me when I was very little and very annoying, at parties, singing, and reading books. She seemed to enjoy it, and to be fair they
did make me laugh, and I got to see my nan and grandad on them too (grandad died when I was six, nan when I was nine). After that we headed up to see my
cousin Laura, aunty Pauline and Laura's baby, Calum, who came to visit us a few weeks ago. That was the nicest visit of all, I held the baby lots, and
he snuggled in to me making little noises of contentment, and the broodiness started all over again. Had lunch there, and then went in to town to get my
dad's birthday cards, and for DL to find a present for him. Then on to my uncle Ian's and his two children briefly, and then finally to see my next door
neighbours, who are like my substitute grand parents. All this was done by six thirty, and then we got ready to go for a meal with my dad as it was his
birthday. I think we did well, and everyone was pleased to see us, which was lovely.

On sunday morning, we went to visit my aunty Margret, and my cousin Mel popped in to see us there too. This again was nice, but this time my mother came
with us, and to be honest we didn't really get a word in edge ways, and she just went off talking about her job etc, and so for a lot of the time we sat
listening to her go on and on about work, and I wished she'd have stayed at home. That sounds awful, but I don't really see my family that often, and it
was the first time my aunty had met DL, and my mum lives around the corner from them, so I felt slightly miffed that she'd muscled in on our time with
them, and was thankful she'd been at work the day before when we saw everyone else. After that we headed back to her house for some brunch, and then headed
back home.

So all in all catching up with everyone was lovely, and I'm glad we did it, it was just seeing mother that was the painful part. But that's for another
post... Today I have to work work work.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

just emotions
i'm full and yet so empty
I'm complete, yet broken.
Right now, I'm hurting, and can't post more than that.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

crunch! break! stall! thud! oops!
yes, my first driving lesson! It's so exciting!!!

Last night after DL and I went for a drink, I told her while we were driving home, I felt like doing something crazy. I didn't know what, just something
out of the ordinary. Anyway, she then went on a mission, driving somewhere, and when she finally stopped we were in, wait for it... Tesco's car park! When
I asked her what we were doing there at eleven thirty at night, she said she was going to let me drive the car. I burst out laughing, and explained that
the only time I did that, I was ten, and sitting on my mother's lap pressing the peddles while she steered. Anyway, she insisted that I do it, and to be
honest, driving is something I'd love to be able to do, so somewhat dubeously, we changed seats and I started the car.

I was slightly worried, because the car is her pride and joy, and I didn't want anything bad to happen to it, but she assured me there weren't any other
cars around and that it would be fine. Starting the car wasn't a problem. She then began to explain about slowly releasing the clutch while pressing the
accelerator, which sounded simple enough, but was actually quite complicated. This was what hindered my progress somewhat, because not managing the clutch
properly caused the car to stall, lots, and lots, and lots of times. It was quite hilarious, and I alternated between frustration and hysterical laughter,
when I couldn't get it to work. At one point DL controled the clutch while I accelerated, and that was fine, and I drove around for a while. The thing
was that I hardly touched the accelerator and the car zoomed forward, so DL would shout, "break" and I hit the break and stalled the car. Anyway we did
this for about half an hour, until she started to get concerned that stalling the engine so much would have a bad effect on the car, so we then changed

It was such a great experience though, and I did manage to drive a little, and even reverse the car back a good way, and when we find a bigger car park
I'm having lesson number two. Why, you might ask, it's completely futile as I'll never be able to drive? It's just something I've always wanted to do,
and it felt so good being in the driving seat and getting an idea of what it's like to actually drive. I keep thinking about it and giggling madly because
I made such a botch job of it, but I can't wait for my next lesson!
And a message to my dear Friend Hai Man, I'm sorry for taking the piss when you failed you driving test countless times before you passed, I now appreciate
somewhat how difficult it is! Love ya!

Today I've been to uni and then to the gym, and did a good, hard work out. Tonight we're going to enjoy seventeen months of being together. I'm really looking
forward to tomorrow as well, because we're organising a night out to a local gay club with friends, and it's been ages since I've had a good night out,
so can't wait!

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Treading Water!
On the subject of volunteering in Africa...

I've been in contact with an organisation, with regard to volunteering as an English teacher in Ghana over the summer, ever since I last posted about it,
which was ages ago. Anyway, for a start, it takes them ages to respond to my emails, and I've left my home telephone number and they've not called to discuss
any further arrangements. The trouble is, that as soon as I mentioned I had a sight problem, everything seemed to grind to a hault. I had a response asking
if I could travel with a friend or family member, and that they would try to subsidise "some" of the cost of traveling. Now including flights, accomodation,
living expenses, and the addition of still paying rent back home, you're talking about nearly 2000 pounds for the trip, which I've accomodated for and
can just about afford, but no one else I know can. What's more, I wanted this to be something I did alone, as an experience for me, so I could take in
the culture and the people, without any distractions. I told them this, and that I was an extremely independent woman, and that I've traveled abroad to
teach before, and that as long as I was paired up with another volunteer I would be fine. Anyway, I've not heard a thing back, and I just called and asked
to speak to the woman I've been in contact with, and I was put on hold, then asked what the call was about, then put on hold again, and then asked to leave
a message. So to me, it's obvious that the receptionist reported to the woman, and she was reluctant to take the call, for whatever reason. So I feel like
I'm treading water. I've been pushing for weeks, and if something isn't sorted out soon, I'll miss the opportunity all together, because it'll be too late
to book flights and make arrangements. I feel so frustrated, and have a bad feeling about the organisation I'm dealing with. I think I'll have to lok elsewhere,
and hope they're willing to think about equal opportunities and the fact that they have a willing volunteer, desperate to put something back in to the
world, instead of concentrating on the fact that I'm visually impaired. I don't usually rant about things like this, and usually my sight isn't an issue,
but right now, for them, I feel that it is. I'll be damned if I let anything stop me from living a dream that I've harboured for so long!

Anyway, if anyone knows of any reputable organisations that send volunteers from the UK to Africa, leave me a comment with their details.
I am the champion my friends!
Why is it, that throughout the day, I think of loads of things to post about, and then when it comes to it my mind goes blank? Does anyone else have that
problem? I think I'll have to carry around a virtual pad to scribble on.

Yesterday was a crazy day!
Both DL and I got out of the wrong side of the bed, and spent most of the day niggling at each other for no reason. We didnt' actually fight, but we were
both aware of each other's faults more than usual. Anyway, it wasn't a very eventful day all in all, the highlight of which was kicking her ass at draughts.
We decided to take some time out to enjoy each other's company in the evening and to try and lighten the mood, so she challenged me to a game, one which
I hasten to add I've never won while playing against her. So last night I was determined to win, and succeeded. However, she wouldn't conceed defeat in
the slightest, and we ended up shouting at each other in a very commical, non aggressive way about the rules of the game, and then laughing at the fact
that she's such a bad loser. Anyway, it finished the day off nicely and we went to bed and made love!

Two out of three lectures I should have had were cancelled due to a strike by the association of university teachers, so I only had to go in for an hour.
I should add, that yesterday was very industrious, so I have little to do today in terms of seminar preparation. I finished Northern Lights, and read Twelfth
Night, and so all is well. I also found out that a presentation I thought I had to prepare for next week isn't happening until later in the semester, which
gives me a relatively easy weekend. I do however, have an essay that is due in in three weeks time, so I intend to not leave it until the last minute.
But, the point to my ramblings is, that it's my dad's birthday this weekend, and origionally I wasn't going to visit because of work commitments, but now
I can. So I called my dad to say that DL and I are coming, and he was thrilled, bless his heart! He's so enthusiastic about everything, and I love that.
We're also bringing the dog back with us to stay for a while, so we're both looking forward to that. We'll be staying at my mother's house, which I'm not
so bothered about because I'll have DL with me, and my mother pretends that we have this impecable relationship when anyone else is around, so it should
be relatively hastle free. After the xmas trauma however, I'm planning to put a lock on the door, so that I can have some privacy both when I'm there with
DL and when I'm there alone, and I don't think she'll like that so much. She has this way of just walking right in though, without knocking, and I find
it extremely invaissive, so she'll just have to cope! And yes, I have asked her not to do it, and she doesn't pay attention.

DL is going for a job interview in a little while, so I'll finish here to spend time with her before she goes. We've been together for seventeen months
tomorrow, so I think we'll do something nice. Thursday night we're planning to go clubbing with friends, and then Friday we'll be visiting, so it looks
like it's going to be a good week.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

It snowed... in my eye!
Ok ok, I've been thoroughly nagged to update my journal, so here I am...

Actually I was intending to write, but the past couple of days have flown by. Anyway, I'm not going to talk about the argument, it got sorted, and if you
want to read about it you can go to DL's page, it's all there.

On thursday, went to uni in the morning, and didn't go to the gym as planned in the afternoon, because after staying up late on Wednesday night I was wacked!
Had a major pannick at lunch time because I thought the exam results were released that day, which turned out not to be correct, so I was slightly disappointed.
Spent most of Thursday afternoon reading a novel i'm engrossed in, but had to leave it alone to read other stuff for uni in the end. I've read one text
for this week, now have to read another, and a Shakespeare play, so on the whole not doing too badly. Thursday night, I got home to find DL all set to
give me a full pedicure, which was absolutely heavenly! She's never done it before, and I just felt so loved as she soaked them in warm water, then rubbed
them and cut and painted my toenails. I'm so damn lucky!

Had a meeting with my tutor on Friday morning, and she gave me back my mark for an essay and for the exam. The essay I'm thrilled with, the exam not so
much, I was one mark from getting the next grade up, which really pisses me off! My final essay has been sent to an external marker and isn't back yet,
but I'm hoping it's alright. After my meeting, spent a couple of hours in the gym, and came out feeling great. Then spent the rest of the afternoon ironing
and chatting on the phone to my mum.

It was really ironic actually, because she was saying how much snow they've had in my home city, and how some schools were closed and meetings at work cancelled
etc. Seriously, for anyone who lives outside the UK and is reading this, England goes in to total chaos when we have more than an inch of snow, and everything
stops. IT's madness! Anyway, I was saying to her that it was strange that we hadn't had any here, because we're usually one of the first places to get
it, and how disappointing it was. That night, DL and I went to see a play at the university drama studio, and as we stepped outside, DL said, "my god,
it's snowed!" At first I thought she was taking the piss, but then I stepped outside and there was a good couple of inches on the ground. It was really
strange because we'd been sitting in the living room just over an hour before, and the sun was shining outside, and no sign of snow at all. So god knows
how we missed that one! Anyway, the play wasn't that good, and afterwards we went to the supermarket to get bread, and as we stood in the car park, DL
threw a snowball at me and it went straight in my eye. Looking back it was very amusing, but at the time I thought it had scratched it or something, because
it started streaming and while we walked around the supermarket, I couldn't open it without the light really hurting it, but it turned out to be ok. The
downside was that by the morning the snow had mostly gone, so I never got to kick her ass in the snow!

Yesterday I was out all day doing volunteering, and we had a friend over last night for a drink. We didn't get up until late today, we're nearly at the
end of series one of Twenty Four, and so watched a couple of eppisodes while we had breakfast in bed. Aaahh, bliss! I intend to spend the rest of the day
doing work and finishing off the ironing. Also DL and I are going to cook a roast dinner together later, which we've not done for ages, so it'll be great
to take some time to spend with each other, after the madness of the past couple of days! Aahh, lovely!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Pannick over!
We made up! It's all fine. Will write more later!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

WE just had this stupid argument over nothing at all, and ended up shouting at each other, DL storming around and me having a strop. In the end I said I
wasn't coming to bed, that I would sleep out here, and she didn't ask me not to or anything, just said, "thanks," and closed the bedroom door. I want to
cry! During our entire relationship, we've never gone to bed on an argument, always making up in some way before we go to sleep. Now she's in there, and
I'm out here, and it looks like i'm in the spare room for the first time in our relationship. I'm too angry to go and try to make it up, I just want her
to come back out and ask me to come to bed. I've been feeling kind of clingy over the past couple of days which really isn't like me at all, and I just
want to sleep in her arms, which I doubt will happen tonight. It's been a while and she's still not come out, so I get the feeling she's not going too.
I hate arguing! And I don't know if I want to cry, or break something!
I'm wicked and I'm lazy!
Gotta get my ass in gear!

Wow, i've been such a bum for the last couple of days, it's untrue. Didn't go in to uni on Monday, I had the notes for the lecture and so decided to give
it a miss. Was a very naughty girl and lazed around for most of the day, watching episodes of 24, which we're addicted too, having incredible sex, and
reading trashy fiction. It was wonderful!!! I need more days like that!

Yesterday I went in to uni in the morning and then to the gym in the afternoon. Did a good, hard work out, changing my programme slightly to include more
weight machines, and now my muscles are screaming every time I move. I'll get used to it, I'm planning on going again tomorrow, I feel great. And I've
lost more weight, which has given me a boost, and it doesn't seem to be coming off my breasts which is great! Last night I cooked dinner for once, taking
a break from work, and then DL made pancakes for pudding, very naughty and unhealthy I know, but come on, it was Shrove Tuesday! Anyway they were lovely!
We should have been going out last night, but we ended up being late, and so decided not to go. I read some more trashy novel, and then we watched more
24 before cuddling up to go to sleep.

Today, my dad's been visiting with my lil pooch, which was wonderful. He's so easy going and we get along great, and I miss my hound terribly so it was
lovely to see him and have him trotting along behind me when I moved around. Bless him, little love! Don't intend on doing a lot tonight, although from
tomorrow I really have to get back in to work mode. This is so unlike, me, I usually switch to work mode on a Monday and switch back to relaxing at the
weekend, but this week it just hasn't happened, and I'm starting to feel slightly guilty now. I've just looked at all my essay deadlines and project work
that has to be done by the end of the semester, and I just know I'm gonna be run off my feet in a few weeks time. American Pie The Wedding has just started
on tv, so I'm going to watch it.