Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Plucking up the courage
Last night I went to my usual Tuesday meeting. I was standing outside the tube waiting for the girl i was supposed to be meeting and it got to about fifteen minutes after the time we were supposed to hook up. I'd tried to call her and kept getting diverted so figured she was still underground. Just as I was starting to get concerned she came out of the station, kissed my cheek and appologised for being late. Right behind her was my crush. I totally didn't expect that and was pleasantly surprised, although I found myself being slightly annoyed that they had turned up together which is totaly rediculous because the other girl is in a relationship. Anyway we walked to the bar and en route stopped at Coffee Cake and Kink. I'd never been in there and I didn't realise it was a cafe combined with a sex shop until we stopped outside and I asked what the Kink was. "I'll show you," said the girl who isn't my crush and in we went. So there I was looking at whips and sex toys, different dildos and butt plugs with my crush standing right there. Hint, never go in to a sex shop with some one you fancy, it's very awkward and it makes you feel very uncomfortable, especially as I kept visualising using the dildos, whips etc on her, imagining her expression as I fucked her. So on we went to the bar and ordered food, my stomach lurching when our hands touched when we exchanged money. I sound so silly, but she is unbelievably attractive, you know when you just feel like some one is too beautiful? They stand out a mile in a room and they don't even realise it? Well she's like that. Last night she seemed more chatty than usual, kept asking me questions and saying how much she enjoyed the party. I can't tell if she even likes me in that way, I'm not sure whether I'm reading too much in to things which I probably am. But when on the way out she took my hand to guide me through some tables, I nearly fainted. She has the softest skin in the world and I didn't want her to let go. We walked arm in arm all the way back to the tube and on departing she kissed me on both cheeks, her hair brushing against my face. I want to pluck up the courage to ask her on a date, but I'm not sure I have the nerve. I just feel like she's way out of my league, plus we see each other socially and if she turned me down I would feel incredibly embarrassed every time I saw her. I met up with the other girl today for lunch, I'll have to give her a name, and kind of told her about my crush and she said that she would do some subtle digging for me to find out if she's interested, but I'm not the most patient of people. I'm resisting the urge to text her and ask how her day is going. So what to do... Should I go for it? Or just leave it for a while and see if she makes a move? Advice please!