Going for it!

So here's the thing... I've had a couple of reacurring fantasies for a long time now. One is me and another woman fucking while being watched, by women of course. Another is being fucked by several different women at the same time. I tried to have a threesome when I was in colege but the mood wasn't right and it didn't feel too good so I stopped it as we were about to get in to it. It was with a woman I was seeing casually at the time and a friend of hers, and I just didn't find the friend attractive and she really wanted to play a lot with me and so it just didn't work. Ever since then I've had these fantasies, and they've fueled many an orgasm in the past. When DL and I were together and we would talk dirty in bed, the main thing that used to get me off was to imagine that there was some one watching us fucking and to have her join in part way through. The thought of it used to drive me mad, and I even did some scouting around on the net for a while looking for places we could go to meet people who wanted to swap partners. But although she said she would do it I didn't feel that she was totally in to it and so we never did anything about it.

Now, however, I am free and single, and when I got to london I found out about something that could potentially blow my mind if it turns out to be good. I'm not going to give the finer details of the events, but basically I saw an advert online for an all female sex party. Apparently they happen every couple of months and the last time it was taking place I really wanted to go but bottled it, then regretted not going straight away. Some one I know went and I spoke to her afterwards about what it was like and she said it was totally amazing, very classy and friendly and in a lovely location with sexy, attractive and friendly women, some of whom watched and others played at anything from masturbation to group sex. I was really pissed off that I didn't get to go and was mad at myself and swore the next time it came around I would go. So... I was online late last week and up popped the advert yet again. I knew what it would say and still I read it three times, and then sent an email to the organiser stating my interest. I got a lovely response back, and today we spoke on the phone to arrange the finer points of the night. All I have to do now is make the payment that is required to cover costs towards the hire of the location and everything that will be provided at the party. So I'm sitting here with the details, and I will make the payment tomorrow. I am both terrified and excited. I'm not intimidated by the fact that I could potentially end up having lots of fun with several different women all in one place, I find that part incredibly arousing. it's the going and not knowing anyone that I'm nervous about. I spoke to a friend of mine earlier today and she said she may be interested in coming too, and I'm kind of hoping she does because I think I'd feel a lot less nervous if I know some one else there. I am totally excited about the possibilities that I will be faced with, even if I just got to watch and didn't get any action it would be something I've never done before and which I know would completely turn me on. I won't be able to discuss what happens too much on here as there's obviously confidentiality issues, as a lot of the women who attend are proffessionals high up in their field and their privacy needs to be honoured and respected, but I just had to tell some one that I was going and how excited I am, and it's not exactly something you call your family or most of your friends about now is it? The only other thing I'm conscious about is my body, so I'm going on a strict diet for the next few weeks and even if I lose a couple of pounds it'll be something, and I'll hopefully feel good enough about my body to walk around at least semi nude, and won't be shy about getting naked with person or persons involved. This is the most daring thing I've ever done sexually and I'm hardly a virgin by any stretch of the imagination, and I'm utterly thrilled by the prospect.

In other news, had a fantastic few days catching up with friends. Thursday night I went to the relaunch of the Glass bar which was lovely, it was a warm evening and there were scores of women outside on the pavement drinking and talking, and music and more people inside. Although it's a very small venue and could do with a lot more work to get it looking ship shape, it's a fantastic women only space, the only one of its kind in London except for the Candy Bar and it was great to see so much support from the community. Didn't have too much of a late one as I had to be up for work on friday, and on Friday night DL came over and we watched Notes on a Scandal and got take out. Saturday my friend Simon was in town on his way to go and live in Paris, so we spent the afternoon together and had lunch and drinks outside in the sunshine and caught up on each others lives. In the evening i went to the bbq of an ex house mate DT, where I and most of the people there got very very drunk. I knew it was time to go home when the chair I was sitting on started feeling like I was on a fair ground ride and the room started spinning out of control. Don't really remember getting home to bed but woke up with a hang over unsurprisingly in the morning and figured I'd drank two bottles of wine to myself, lol. So I spent the day tidying up the messs that was my kitchen and doing the weeks worth of washing up that was there, God I miss having a dish washer. In the evening Baby G and another friend of ours CC came over and we ended up having a really girly night, cooking and chatting and putting the world to rights.. They left just after ten and I went to bed still feeling rough, then it was back to work today. I have a busy week ahead too, have gay groups tomorrow and Wednesday evenings, Thursday I have the job interview and DT is coming round for dinner and then my friend Rosie is coming to stay for the weekend which will be lovely.

I also got told today that they won't be extending my contract at work past the end of September, so unless I land this permenant position by some miracle, I'll be out of a job in a few weeks until I find something else. So I'm going to devote any spare time I have to job hunting and keep my fingers crosssed for the position I'm going for on Thursday. Not working for a little while might not be so bad as I'm considering a trip to New York in October. Baby G has vaginismus and so is going out there to get treatment and CC is going with her. I mentioned before that Baby G's boyfriend is already there through work and they're staying at his apartment, and Baby G is going to ask him if he wouldn't mind letting me stay as well. It'll be great if it all works out, we can have a girlie shopping, site seeing and coctails holiday which I'm in desperate need of at the moment, plus I get to be there supporting my best friend through what will be a traumatic and difficult few weeks for her.
I'm off to cook dinner now as it's getting late and I'm getting hungry, and silent Witness is on TV at nine which I want to watch. No doubt just as I'm getting in to it the phone will ring and that'll be it for the night which is what usually tends to happen when I try to watch something on tv lol.

LDN to NYC

Oh my God I’m in New York! Well I’m just about to leave it actually but I’ve had the most amazing five days ever here! Sorry I haven’t had the chance to update, one reason was that we couldn’t find a travel adapter plug that went from the UK plug to the US socket until yesterday, and the other reason is that we’ve been out all day every day and only returned to the hotel to collapse exhausted in to bed last thing at night. I’ve had such a good time, it’s been really incredible, and I’ll try and remember in what order we did things so that I can post accurately.

Saturday we spent the entire day travelling. We were lucky to get our flight because the ones before ours were cancelled due to heavy snow in NY. But we made it, and landed in temperatures only slightly above 0, and snow! We took a cab to the hotel and arrived at around ten at night, although we were really tired because of the four hour time difference. The hotel was great, I can’t praise it enough for the money we paid, it was cheap, warm, clean and the staff were really friendly, plus we were in the perfect location to look around. We stayed in Greenwich Village, which was wonderful because it was downtown enough to be out of the madness, yet close enough to central Manhatton just to take the subway in to the hustle and bustle and the absolute craziness that is New York. On Sunday we got up and wondered around Times Square before catching the boat to Statton Island, where we did some more wondering around and had lunch in a lovely little diner with a very cute waitress. I can’t remember what we did in the evening, it feels like so long ago and we’ve done so much while we’ve been here. On Monday we went on a bus tour of Downtown which was great because we could get on and off the bus wherever we wanted. Among others we visited the Empire State building, the West Village, Ground Zero which was incredibly moving and a shopping mall where mother bought clothes. Then in the evening we went on a night tour of the city which again was fantastic, apparently very beautiful with all the lights and sky scrapers etc, although I was freezing cold being on the top of an open bus.

Tuesday we went on the Uptown tour, got lost in Harlem which wasn’t so good, went to Central park where we went ice skating which was hilarious and then to Bloomingdale’s. In the evening we went to Broadway to see The Colour Purple, and I have to say that if you ever get the chance to come to New York, please, please, please GO AND SEE THAT! It was fucking incredible! The best play I’ve ever seen in my entire life and I would definitely go and see it again!!! It really did move me to tears and they didn’t really play down the lesbian plotline which I thought they would do. It really was something! Wednesday we spent doing last bits of shopping and walking around to the places we hadn’t yet visited and by last night we were exhausted.

I know I’ve sort of listed everything we’ve done, but it really has gone by in a worl wind. I can tell you that I’ve never done so much walking in my entire life and my thighs and ass are now much more toned than before, but my stomach is bigger because of all the fantastic food heehee. I really can see why America has an obesity problem because you can get anything and everything at any time of day and the portion sizes are heeeeeeuuuuge compared to the UK. I’ve also seen a lot of very attractive women since I’ve been here, but we didn’t get chance to check out the gay scene because there was so much else to do, and let’s face it your mother isn’t really the ideal person to go girl spotting with is she?

So now I’m in JFK airport, on my way to New Orleans to see Kerry. I’m so excited, we talked on the phone yesterday and I don’t think either of us can believe I’m coming! Oh! My! God! I’m in the US!!! I don’t think I’ could live here though, or at least not in New York, the only negative thing I have to say about it is that it’s very man made and flaunts mass consumerism on a very large scale. There’s something unnatural about being able to go out and get anything you want even in the middle of the night, and the sky scrapers make it feel very oppressive. It’s a great place to visit though I have to admit and I would definitely come back.

Well I think that’s all for now, it’s nice to know I’ve been missed though. I’ll send you my next update from New Orleans. xx

Off on my travels

I’ve spent all day running around like a mad head, trying to pack and get ready to go to the US. I swore I wouldn’t over pack, and yet my suitcase is full. I get the feeling I’ll have to buy another suitcase out there to bring shopping back with me. Casual Lover has been texting me all week wanting to meet up before I go, and so I found an hour this afternoon to go see her. We had great sex as ever, and she did make me smile when after I took my clothes off, she paused, and when I asked what was wrong, she commented, “I’d just forgotten how gorgeous you are.” She’s had a new tattoo on her right hip though so I did have to be careful when fucking her, not wanting to catch it.

Mother arrived this afternoon and is even more excited than I am if that’s possible. She’s getting ready for bed now, wonder if she’ll actually get to sleep or if she’ll keep me awake talking instead. I can’t believe it’s actually happening. I’ve always wanted to go to New York, and heading on to New Orleans to see Kerry is an extra added bonus, I can’t wait to be there. Oh and when checking my flight tickets this afternoon I realised I'm actually getting back to Gatwick not Heathrow, woops! Slight fuck up on my part. Thankfully DL wants to see me when I get back, so she's coming with the car to meet me. Ok, think that’s all I have time for, I need to get some sleep. I’m taking my lap top so will do my best to get online and post while I’m there. See you all soon!

PS: I just had an email from the woman I worked for in Albania three years ago. We’ve always kept in touch and she’s wanted me to go back ever since. However, she’s a strict Christian and the last time we spoke I came out to her, and she didn’t take it too well. So a few weeks ago I emailed to see how she was because she’s getting married soon, and I just got a two line response back from her, which was cold if anything. Oh well, you winn some you lose some, she’s probably praying for my soul to be reclaimed from the devil or whatever. It did upset me though all the same. Bloody homophobes! Anyway, big apple here we come! Woo!

New York Baby!

Yes, I'm coming to the good old US of A! Anyone live in New York?...

This is one of my crazy, impulsive, let's just do it trips that I don't do very often, but when I do, I go all out. I was thinking about the trip to China at easter, and there were a few things that were getting in the way of it all running smoothly. For a start I couldn't book the flights until fairly late which put the cost right up, and my dear friend who I intended to visit is at uni so it would restrict what we could do. I did also plan to go to New York this year for my birthday, although not around the time of it because of my finals, so I thought about swapping them around. I mentioned it to my mother and she thought it would be a possibility, and then I started looking at flights. They were coming up really cheaply, and there were two people I really wanted to go and visit too, that is my friend Baby G who is in St Louis for six months, and Kerry, (Chasing Midnight). So i calculated the round trip and it was still coming up at an affordable price, so I started getting really excited. Anyway the long and short of it is, after days and days of consulting with people, looking at flights and hotels, I am now going to New York with my mother, and then on to spend five days with Kerry in New Orleans, and this is happening in March! I am so excited I can't put it in to words, and when I had finally booked all the flights and hotels I just screamed and bounced around for ages, along with my mother who is also equally as excited as I am. I think she's a little nervous about flying home by herself but she'll be fine if she doesn't think about it. So yes, the USA, here I come!!!!! In NY we're staying in a hotel in Greenwich village so we're at the centre of everything, and in New Orleans I'm staying near the French Quarter, and Kerry will be staying with me. She's already started planning what we're going to do with the time we have, which leaves me to think about what I'm going to do in New York. I definitely want to go shopping and to the theatre, any other suggestions are very welcome.

In other news I've started back at uni, and already I feel like I'm five paces behind my life. I don't think i've been on time for any appointment this week and I'm dead on my feet. I also decided to cut contact with DL on Friday because I didn't feel that her calling me everyday was doing her any good. It was terribly hard to do, but I think it's for the best. I spoke with her briefly online yesterday and she sounds much better and more positive so I think it was a step in the right direction. I'm also learning a lot about myself and the relationships I make during this whole process, not only with DL, but with others also. Last night i lost a person who I considered to be a friend, because all of a sudden the connection we had is lost. I'm not sure if it's me with the emotional issues, or her, or both. I do know that I am in the process of grieving for what I lost with DL, and also healing and putting myself back together again. Time is a great healer, I do honestly believe that. It's also snowing here, for the firsst time in ages, which is pretty if not a pain in the ass. I've already been out today throwing snowballs at the dog, she loves it! She chases them and then eats them when she catches them, bless her. So yes, that's my news, only five more weeks and then I'm going trans atlantic!