On the up

I've chosen this title to what will be a very short post because, fingers crossed, it looks as though things are on the up.
The first good thing that happened this week was that I received a call from the graduate scheme I went for the assessment centre with last week and I'm through and on to the scheme and will start work in the new year. Woo! Finally! So this means I can relax for a little while and not have the stress of applying for jobs etc and now make the most of the time I have left not working and look forward to starting a new job.

The second good thing is that I have been having and will hopefully continue to have extremely good sex right now. The Spanish Girl came over on Tuesday and is supposed to be coming over sometime this weekend for some more fun and believe me, it is lots of fun. I've been masturbating to the image of me riding her while she's wearing the strap on, something which we did last Friday, all week long and I want a repeat performance. Something else which has fueled my solo orgasms are a couple I've made friends with. I'll call them the femme couple as I met them at the femmes meet I went to, and we've been in touch ever since and they came to the commedy night yesterday evening. I have to say they are probably the hottest couple I've ever met, and they're both really flirtatious which really doesn't help. We were exchanging stories about what is in our respective toy boxes and when they were talking about the strap on they'd just bought the thought of them fucking stayed in my head for the rest of the night. They're supposed to be coming over for dinner soon, I wonder if they'd be up for a threesome. One is English, tall and blonde and the other is an Arab and is shorter and very feisty. They're both gorgeous women and I'd love to get stuck in the middle heehee.

The final thing I want to mention is a blog some one gave me the link too. The blog in itself is great but the pod casts are something else. I'll add her to my blog roll but in the meantime you can check her out
here

Happy Thanks Giving to those of you in the US.

Stick to what you know, or more importantly, where!

Just before I start with this post can I just tell you that my neighbour is in his shower and he’s either talking to himself or some one else who is there, but in a very odd, darlic esque voice. Sounds very strange coming through my wall…

Today I ventured to East London, and never will I venture there again if I can help it. God it’s so uncivilised! You probably think I’m taking the piss, but my gosh everyone I met was so fucking rude! The station staff were horrible, I approached the barrier and found the gate man shouting at some one, “don’t interrupt me when I’m talking, wait your turn!” And he didn’t seem to notice that I was trying to squeeze past with the dog, while some cunt with a push chair was repeating, “’scuse me! ‘scuse me” very loudly behind me as if I didn’t hear them the first time. The reason I went east was for my interview, and to be frank even if they offered me the job which I’m not sure they will I wouldn’t work there anyway. The office was really shitty and run down, and yes I am aware that I sound like a snob, but that’s because I am. The people who worked there were also rude, not bothering to introduce themselves or even tell me who was doing the interview so I could be all friendly and introduce myself. I was just taken to this room where four people sat around a table and I didn’t know if they were other candidates or the people doing the interview until they started firing questions at me. Then I was taken over to a computer where I had to do a test in excel and the woman supervising didn’t even say hello to me. I said, “nice to meet you,” in a very pointed way and she just muttered something I didn’t catch and wondered off. So that was a total flop and I’ll be writing an email to the head of recruitment complaining about the staff and their lack of disability awareness and recommend they get some training. I don’t take kindly to being poked in the back by some one in an attempt to show me which direction to go to get somewhere, and at one point one of the interviewers said, “ok so now you can go and do the test, and (insert name) will carry you to where you need to go.” Carry me! I wasn’t aware that I couldn’t walk. By this point I was not a happy bunny and was tempted to rip the piss out of her when she read that I could speak French and tried to speak it very badly to me, but I didn’t. Oh and I had a horrible cab driver who couldn’t find the right building and kept jamming on the breaks and complaining very loudly as if it was my fault that I’d never been there before.

So, after what was a stressful experience I came home and cooked myself pasta and vegetables in tomato and cheese sauce with garlic bread and read some more of my book. It’s been pissing down with rain all day, and I mean really pissing down. I got drenched on the short walk from the bus stop to my house and I can hear it drumming on the roof as I write.

Oh, and something that made me laugh out loud when I got home… It’s a good job I didn’t take off my suit jacket during the interview, because I’d put my blouse on inside out this morning and hadn’t even noticed. I think that says it all.

Fragments

I have had bad dreams and disturbed sleep every night this week. I don't really remember what the dreams were about, I just don't wake up feeling refreshed. Last night though I do remember something about being covered in shattered glass, and the glass was all over the floor and there was a girl there who was crazy and who kept smashing things. I had tiny fragments in my skin and hair and kept trying to pick them out without cutting myself.
I am tired most of the time and tend to fall asleep in the afternoons if I am home.
I read The Afghan by Frederick Forsyth in a couple of days and although I really enjoyed the book, I was disappointed with the anticlimax of an ending.
I went for a job interview on Tuesday to be a recruitment consultant, but due to the long hours, pressured environment and there being a score board in the office with everyone's commission scores on it I'm not sure I want the job.
Yesterday I went to an assessment centre for a graduate scheme and think I nailed it.
My friend Mr C came over today with his guitar and he played and I sang for about two hours. We are learning
this
and this
and hope to get a set together to play live somewhere.
The last time I made myself come was on Saturday. I haven't even attempted it, or even thought about it that much since then. So for once sex isn't the primary thing on my mind. I'm not even bothered if the spanish woman and I don't have sex tomorrow, it might actually be quite refreshing if we don't, but chances are we will because she's not coming over to play scrabble.
DL bought me Leona Lewis's debut album and I really like it. She told me to listen to
track 3
and that made me sad, to know that she feels that way.
I am eating a lot more than I should be at the moment. It's probably comfort eating, but the guy I walk the dog with once a week came today and said, "are you putting on weight?" Thankfully my head was in a cupboard looking for the dog whistle so he didn't see my face, but it really pisses me off that men think it's ok to say that to women. The next time he comes over I will be tempted to say, "has your dick shrunk? Only the buldge in your pants looks a lot smaller today."
I ordered a cab yesterday only to have it come and then the driver refuse to take me because I had the guide dog. That is actually against the law, but what can you do if the driver just leaves except report his ass and hope the authorities will revoke his licence.
Francesca and I are no longer friends, and I'm not really sure why. She is a very complex person and I can't seem to see the wood for the trees as far as working out her meaning is concerned. It's a shame we're no longer in touch, but I think it's probably for the best as we view things very differently and never seem to meet in the middle.
I cried for the first time in ages the other night. Cried propperly, balling, heaving sobs in to my pillow until my eyes were sore, my nose blocked and my head hurt. The release felt good.
Despite all this, I don't feel depressed, just in transition. Where I'm going and what I'm leaving behind, I'm not entirely sure yet.

Not quite right

Nothing has gone quite right this week for one reason or another. On Tuesday I had an appointment in the morning to test out some new satalite navigation technology that is supposed to help if you can't see, and in the afternoon I was set to have a job interview to be a trainee recruitment consultant. I got a call on Monday asking if they could move the interview to Thursday, fair enough, but then on the Tuesday morning I had a call from the tech guy saying he needed to rearrange because he was ill. I did have a rather productive day though sending off some more job application forms so that was ok. Stayed in on Tuesday night as the lesbian social group that usually meets up on a Tuesdays seems to have dispanded over the past few weeks, everyone having their own stuff on. Wednesday I got roped in to attending an event with a secret employer by a charity that I'm involved with, and it turned out to be some huge corperate finance company that I would have no interest in working for, so although it was nice I could have spent it doing better things. In the evening I went to the usual commedy night, to find that the usual compair was ill and that some one else was running it and it wasn't half as funny. Today I had a Virgin Media technition come to look at my TV as I've stopped getting two of the main channels, and he basically said that it should have never been installed because it wasn't serviceable in my building. So now I have to have it all uninstalled again and will have to find a new service provider for my phone, broadband and TV which is really annoying. And just to top it all off the company I was supposed to be having the interview with called and said they were having some problems within the company, the manager of the team I should have bene working for had been dismissed and the position wasn't vacant at the moment. They said they would keep my records on file but that they would have to cancel the interview. Jesus Christ! Next week though I have an assessment centre for a graduate scheme and I'm going to visit another recruitment consultants to see if I like the look of what they do, so fingers crossed. Also, Cherry and I have kept missing phone calls from each other all week long, either one of us being busy when the other tried to call for a chat. She just called while I was writing this though and we managed to speak for more than a few minutes, she wants to come over this weekend which is find by me as I'm more than ready for some more of what she has to offer! My dad is also here at the moment, he's in the kitchen cooking us dinner which is lovely of him, and he's bought the family dog who is currently snoozing in Una's bed.

Let's hope things get better over the weekend and that is the end of my run of bad luck.

Wrist worries

Is it possible to get RSI through too much quim frapping? I'm asking myself this as, being off work, all I seem to have done this week is job hunt, and wank to relieve the bordom and stress of job hunting. I noticed today that I had a dull ache in my wrists, hmm, I'm starting to get worried. I'm also steadily breaking my toys, will have to go to Shush and restock I think. This week has been fairly quiet, hence all the frapping going on, next week however is a different story.
Monday: I'm going to a femmes who like femmes meet.
Tuesday: my mother is visiting for her birthday and staying until Wednesday.
Wednesday: mother departing, and then I have a choice, yes a choice in the evening. Either the usual commedy night, or there's another meet, this time for lesbians in my local area. This one looks more appealing this week as the majority of my friends don't live anywhere near me, and that needs to change.
Thursday: I have a date. Sort of. It's with some one I've been matched with by some one who runs a match making thread on a site I use a lot.
Friday: I think I'm going to a club night with some friends.

I do like having a full diary. I don't like spending too much time alone, and being off work really isn't helping. As far as this weekend goes it's stretching ahead and I have absolutely nothing planned. So very depressing. More quim frapping then.

Disappointing news, other people’s dogs, and bonding

Ok, let’s get the horrible part over with first. I didn’t get the job. And yes, I am very disappointed and am trying to look at it in a positive way in that something better is obviously out there waiting for me to snap it up. It’s not even so much not getting that particular job that bothers me because it wasn’t a really challenging role even. It’s the prospect of actually being out of work for any length of time,. Because too much of my own company sends me crazy, as does idleness and not stretching myself and so I am not looking forward to finishing my job in two weeks time and spending all my time on the net applying for jobs and graduate schemes. As far as the company I’m working for at the moment goes, the team I’m working with are great, but there is a lot of hidden burocracy and under cover agendas within the business, as well as the fact that some one I have to work closely with and who is higher up than me likes to play dirty and doubtless had a hand in the decision making about the job.

Anyway, enough of that, positivity is the way forward. I will get a job, I will get a job, I will get a job!!!

Wednesday evening was eventful, only in that DT was coming round for dinner on the Thursday and I’d decided to make curry. I knew I wouldn’t get in until later than usual because of the interview so I decided to make the currey the night before and keep it in the fridge so that all I’d have to do was to make the rice and heat everything through. So on Wednesday I tidied the flat, put my suit in the wash and set about cooking the currey. Everything was going fine until I left the currey on the hob and went to get my suit out of the machine, only to discover that something in there had fucking ripped all the lining in the jacket. I stood there having a minor panic attack and examining the damage, as well as checking the outside to see whether it was wearable. That was when the currey started to burn. Thankfully the suit was wearable, I’m just going to have to have the lining restitched, and I saved the currey which turned out to be one of the best I’ve ever made.

So DT arrived for dinner with lots of wine, and spent time having a good look around the flat while I finished the cooking. We also had a giggle about the dirty weekend she’s going away on, even though she tried to pretend it wasn’t a dirty weekend, and I told her about the party I’m going to in a few weeks, which she got very excited about. After dinner we spent a while examining outfits I’m thinking of wearing and deciding which would look more sexy and sophisticated, and discussing the DL situation, which in a nutshell is that we’re trying to be friends which is proving to be difficult because she’s still very much not over the break up. By the time she left we’d had rather a lot of wine and I was past being tipsy.

Friday I took the day off work and my friend R came down from Sheffield for the weekend. I was really looking forward to her visit but a little nervous as we’ve not really spent much time together outside a group setting apart from going for the odd drink before, and I wanted to make sure she had a good time. Anyway as I’m sure she’ll agree it was great, we talked for England, went for food on the Friday night with Baby G and another friend and got slightly tipsy, and on the Saturday we went to Hammersmith to do some shopping and ended up sitting outside a pub for three hours chatting a drinking pins. That evening we were both shattered so I cooked chilli and we hired a movie and had some wine. On Sunday we made lunch and took it and the dog to the Heath with DL, and although it was colder than the day before the sun managed to poke its head out of the clouds long enough for us to eat and then lie on the grass for a while while Una roamed around and fraternised with her fellow canines. She was a little apprehensive at first though because when we’d taken her to the park the day before, a man’s husky had gone for her and although it didn’t manage to bite her properly I think it scared Una and she stuck pretty close to me for a while. We dropped R back at the train station in the afternoon and I have to say it was a lovely weekend and I feel like I’ve gotten to know her lots better than I did. We’re very similar in many respects and she’s very easy company and a good conversationalist, plus she makes me laugh.

This afternoon my friend Kim is in town and we're having lunch and spending the afternoon together, and the rest of the week looks busy too. I'll write again at the weekend.

Better Days

The three main things that hold life together for me are all going topsy turvey right now. Firstly I still haven’t found a place to live. Was supposed to be going to view a house tonight and when I spoke to the woman living there she sounded lovely and was actually quite flirtatious on the phone. Then she called me today saying that some one had already been to view and had taken the room. If she’d told me others were already going to see it I would have gone last night, but she implied otherwise and declined to say that I had competition, silly me I should have known better, it is London after all. So that put a dampener on my day and I don’t have any other prospective properties to look at either. Two and a half weeks and counting down until I have to vacate my friend’s living room…

The second life change is my job of course, and I’ve been so busy looking for houses I’ve only applied for one job which I don’t think I’ll get. Anyway it’s a viscious circle because even if I do land a job I need somewhere to live, so the housing situation has to come first. I know I can support myself for a few months if I’m without work, but it’s still highly stressful as most land lord’s want working professionals to rent their rooms so they have some security that the rent will get paid. I would pay it of course even if I wasn’t working but how are they to know that I’m reliable when it comes to finances?

The third major balls up is my love life. Things have totally gone off the boil with BB, I don’t really want to talk much about it, but let’s just say her ex is still very much on her mind and it’s making things very complicated. We hooked up last week and she was supposed to stay over, but because she had other stuff on her mind we didn’t really connect and she ended up leaving and I went to bed feeling awful. We’ve spoken since and I’ve made the decision to basically back off and try not to contact her unless she says she wants to meet up. She needs to sort her shit out before she can even think about being with anyone else, casually or otherwise I think. So what I was hoping was going to be a hot as hell, can’t get enough of fucking and spending time with each other situation, based on what it was like the first time has gone ice cold. Shame because there could have been potential there, but I do know how she’s feeling because I was in no position really to think about anyone else when I’d just broken up with DL. Maybe given time she’ll realise what she’s missing, who knows.

So today I’m feeling fed up, stressed out, and to be honest, rather lonely. It’s times like this I do miss having some one to share things with, and I know I’d feel so much better with a little TLC. See, I might be all yeah women this and women that, casual no strings fucks and miss independent, but I do have a softer, more vulnerable side, it’s just afraid to show itself when I know I’ve only got me to rely on. It’s coming out today though. I just want some one to cook me some dinner, run me a hot bath, then take me to bed and release all the tension that’s built up in my body by making love to me tenderly, then hold me and tell me that it’s all going to be fine, and that I’ll find a house and a job and some security sometime soon. Instead I’m going to go and make a sandwich because I can’t be arsed to cook, have a shower and go to bed and cuddle the dog and mope and feel sorry for myself. Life could be better.

Wet in all the wrong places!

What a week! Terrible weather, terrible! I'm so glad I don't live in Sheffield anymore, for the readers who live overseas Sheffield was one of the worsed affected cities and came to a complete stand still for a few days with hundreds of people needing shelter when their homes were flooded. I did give ex flatmate a call and thankfully my old flat is fine, though. So at the weekend I went to see my mother and the rest of the family up north. Had a lovely time as there was a celebration party in honour of my degree result on Saturday night and everyone came and got slightly drunk and spent the evening singing and dancing around the living room very loudly, the poor neighbours. I honestly have a wonderful family and they all couldn't stop telling me how proud they were and my aunty started crying and said, "I can't believe you've moved to London, I couldn't do it!" I got cards and gifts and all the kid cousins were there which was lovely, as I haven't been home in about three months to see everyone. Sunday mother and I were very hung over and didn't really get moving until the afternoon. We went shopping for a new suit and blouses and shoes for me, and only came back with the shoes, so somewhat unsuccessful.

Monday I was supposed to go to Alton Towers with Sean who came over from Sheffield to my mother's house, but what with the terential rain it never happened and so we went in to town instead and had lunch and did some shopping. Sean got stranded with us overnight as Sheffield station was closed due to the flooding, so he stayed over and we both left in the morning, he to go back home and me to go on to a small little town near Wales where I did my a-levels. Baby G and I were asked to go back to give a talk to the students about university life and why "they really should go!" So we spent Tuesday and Wednesday there which were quite enough! It was lovely to see all the staff though and I've exchanged eamail addresses with them and so that was nice. By the time I got back to London on Wednesday I was too shattered to go to the discussion group and so gave it a miss and went to bed instead. Yesterday I timed and practiced the route to work again with the dog, and then had a singing lesson in the afternoon which I thoroughly enjoyed. I'm not doing a lot today, it's peeing it down outside so I'm intending to stay in and hunt for a new home on the net. DL is coming over later because we're going to pride tomorrow and then she has a school reunion in the evening which she wants me to go to with her. Oh and I got lost for the first time this morning taking Una to the vets. It's ridiculous! I can get all the way across London with no problem, yet I get lost taking the dog five minutes up the road!

Monday I start the new job, aaaah! Very very nervous! Then in the evening I'm seeing HBS, haven't seen her since April so that's very exciting, plus she made it quite clear what she's coming over for so hopefully I'll get some much needed attention! Tuesday evening I have another singing lesson and on Wednesday it's group, so I'll be shattered by Thursday. Will try to write more next week though and make it more interesting to read, rather than just a list of what I've been doing.

Holiday, job, women and work

Wow, what can I say about the past week! It really has felt like another holiday. The weather has been stunningly gorgeous, so DL and I were able to make the most of it when we weren’t in bed *grin*.

She arrived on Friday while I was having lunch with my dad. Even though I’d seen her on Thursday I found that it was good all over again to have her walk in to the restaurant and join us. We didn’t do much the rest of the day because we were both quite tired, so we had an early night.

Saturday we went shopping to the mall and then did a food shop to make sure we had everything in we wanted to eat. Then DL went for drinks with friends while I made currey, which we ate quite late and then went to bed. Sunday we packed up a picknic and headed to the park. It was a scortching day, 30 degrees C which for England and this time of year is H O T! Spoonsie absolutely loved it, racing around and then flopping down in the heat to ogle at our food, while we ate and drank and lay on blankets on the grass with DL reading diva magazine to me, which funnily enough was the sex issue heehee. I wore a bikini top and shorts and it was heavenly to lie back with our limbs touching, listening to her sexy voice and feeling the sun on my face, heaven! In the afternoon she went out again with friends while I worked, and then in the evening we again settled down. We kept going through routines where we’d agree to watch a film or something, then get carried away in the bedroom and find that it was too late to start watching anything.

I have to say we had the best, kinkiest sex we’ve ever had, and we did things together that we’ve never done before. It was crazy and fun, loving and sensual, and I had some of the best orgasms of my life!!! I don’t want to go in to detail and yet I don’t want to not say much about what were perhaps the most intense physical experiences I’ve ever had, so all I will say is camcorder, fisting and double penetration. Fuck! Me! Come on don’t be shocked, I am a sex fiend afterall!

The rest of the time, when we weren’t in bed, because believe me that’s not all we did was spent eating good food, including my home made pineapple upsidedown cake and DL’s lovely gratin potatoes, as well as a gorgeous Italian and Mexican. Taking walks to the park together, DL coming to meet me after my lectures at uni, reading to one another and generally spending good, quality time together. Again as I’ve said before, we’re not rushing in to any decision making, it was what it was, and we both thoroughly enjoyed the time we spent together.

In other news as I mentioned in my previous post I landed the job in London, so I’m super happy about that. It’s only an 8 week contract to start with, but there’s the possibility of a permenant position at the end, and I’m hoping to impress them enough that they’ll take me on full time. So now I’m seriously looking for a place to live, anyone need a house mate? I’m also working like a mad head, it’s basically deadlines all the way until I finish uni on June 8th, so I’m super busy in that department. And today I also met with a woman I’ve been chatting to online for a little while. She lives just down the road and walks her dogs in the park opposite my house, so today she asked if I was home when we were online and came and met me in person. It was really nice, she has two dalmation dogs, one almost two, the other twelve, and the younger one went a bit crazy when she met Una. After a while in the flat she suggested a walk in the park, so we took all three dogs and went for a stroll. She’s called Carla, she’s a similar age to me, is a lesbian and a huge dog fan, so we get on well by all accounts. When she left we hugged and I invited her to a party I’m having on Saturday night. I’ve also chatted to a woman I fancy the pants off who is on my course at uni twice this week, which is unusual. She came and spoke to me the other day while we were waiting for a class, and then today while Sean and I were having lunch she came up to our table and invited us to a club night she’s DJing at next week. I’m not sure if she’s gay, or if she’s even interested, but I hope she is on both accounts. Yum yum!

Think that’s it for now, I’ll write more soon when I’m not so busy.