I need a new lover!

So I made the decision to go public again. Maybe it's a mistake, who knows. If DL is still looking for my blog it probably won't take her long to find it, and I really don't want her to read this if I can help it. So let's just see how it goes.

Anyway, the issue at hand. I really, really need some action. I don't mean to be frank, but there it is and I don't know how else to say it. In the words of Beyonce, "it's been a minute since I've had some", and it's doing my head in. I really want a new lover, I want the excitement of getting to know some one again, their likes and dislikes, even something so basic as what they do and don't like in bed, the slow seduction that we both know will lead to one place, how they fuck and like to be fucked. Now here's a revelation, and for me this is big, I haven't masturbated for over a week! Why? Because I don't want to experience physical pleasure alone. I don't want to make myself come, I want some one else to do it, and I don't want to lie there alone afterwards, I want to lie in some one's arms. I just need the physical closeness of being with some one right now, to trace the contours of her face and body, run my fingers through her hair, kiss her eyebrows, run my fingernails down her back, slip my hand between her legs and feel the hot desire there. Damn, I guess I'm just horny, but it's more than that. I really miss having a lover, and as I mentioned in another post I really do miss the thing Casual Lover and I had going on. Guess I'll just have to find myself a hot and sexy new lady sometime soon. For now, "It's just you and your hand tonight." Shut up Pink!

New Blog title

Oh, I forgot to say, I'm thinking of changing the title of my blog ever so slightly. I was thinking:
The London life of a high maintenance femme
or
Life in London for a high maintenance femme
or
A high maintenance femme in London
I don't know...
Any ideas or preferences? I want to include the words london, and high maintenance femme.

Just some random thoughts

I had a crap night's sleep last night, kept waking up, and had a dream that I moved in with one of my lecturers who turned out to be gay, hmm very weird indeed.
I took Una for a walk this morning and it started to rain, but rather than hating it I found it oddly refreshing.
While listening to a book I have to know inside out for my exam next week, I combed out the knots in the fluffy cushions on the sofas. I'm doing this because I want everything to be as fresh and new for the new people moving in, as it was when DL and I moved here.
I applied a lovely face mask I got from lush to give myself a bit of a pampering. You can find lush at
http://www.lush.com
This morning in the post, I got some chocolate cake that DL had made and sent me to try and de-stress me a little.
I had a rant at my mother on the phone this morning because she dropped it in to the conversation that she got drunk last night and drove her car. I told her she was selfish and she didn't think of anyone else, least of all me who would be left without a mother one of these days because she'd crash the fucking car. When she promised not to do it again I told her not to make promises she couldn't keep.
I want a cup of tea.
I am tempted to go and post photos online to avoid working.
I want to start packing up my things already in preparation for the move to London, but am refraning because of the exam next week.
I am very nervous about this exam because it is the module that I least liked this semester and so didn't put much work in to, so consequently I know very little about the period I'm going to be tested on.
I cannot wait until i am no longer in education, six days to go.
I miss having casual sex with Casual Lover. I really wish she hadn't screwed me over the way she did, things were going so well.
These days I find it difficult to fall asleep unless I'm cuddling something or some one, so I've been letting Una lie on my bed so I can cuddle her until I fall asleep.
I feel like a puzzle, and just when the picture starts becoming clear, some one mixes up the pieces again so I have to start putting it together again from scratch.
DL and I have started a group on facebook called the guide dog appreciation society. If you're a member, you should join.

I guess that's enough for now.

Congratulations and Celebrations

Ok ok here’s an update…

Last week started on a bit of a downer but quickly got better as the week progressed. I didn’t end up going out that Saturday night, because Kim called and cancelled because she was feeling ill. By then I’d gotten myself out of work mode and in to drinking and dancing mode, and so I was a bit miffed and didn’t feel like doing any work. So I spent the evening mooching and feeling sorry for myself and didn’t get anything done. Sunday was much the same, the weather was shitty, raining all day and I wasn’t feeling like doing any work. Simon brightened up the day when he popped round for a cup of tea, but my mood dropped again when another friend cancelled a prearranged meeting in the evening because something came up. I’d also had shitty sleep that weekend too and was generally feeling grouchy. I spoke to DL and she said that some of the side effects of smoking a joint could be insomnia, wrestlessness, irritability and paranoya, and I think I got all of them that weekend after getting stoned. Think I’ll stick to alcohol from now on if it leaves me feeling like that.

Monday was much better though. My dad came over for my birthday meal, and helped me clean up the flat, as some one mentioning no names hasn’t been feeling like doing her fair share of the house work lately, and because I’ve been either working or out the place needed a good vacuming and mop. It’s amazing how much mess one Labrador can make, all the hair that comes off her is amazing, you could make a quilt with it if you left it for a few days I’m sure. Anyway after the tidy up and a good old catch up over cups of tea, we took both dogs to the park which they loved, and then headed out to eat. My dad wanted to try tapas, something which he’s never eaten before, so we went to a lovely Spanish restaurant in town and had fried squid, chicken and chorizo sauceage in a garlic and white wine sauce, bbq chicken scures, vegetable rice and potato wedges in a tomato sauce. It was delicious, and after eating we headed back to the flat for coffee before he left, the evening I spent working on an essay due in today.

On Tuesday morning I headed in to uni for my last ever seminar, and finished in time to meet my mother afterwards. We went to the flat and she had some lunch, and after procrastinating for a while we decided to go clothes shopping. Unfortunately we didn’t realise the time and got stuck in really bad traffic in town, and so after sitting going nowhere for a while we decided to just go to the supermarket and buy food for the party I was giving on Wednesday for my birthday. We arrived back from shopping just as DL arrived from London which was fab, and there was much unloading of shopping and birthday presents, and after feeding the dog and relaxing for a while we all headed out to eat. This time we went to a bar and grill just down the road and we all ordered steak, and messed around taking photographs of each other while we waited for the food. I’ll try and post them online somewhere and put the link here so you can have a look. After we ate we went to the bar area and had cocktails, and there was much sexual innuendo because of the names of the cocktails, a multiple screaming orgasm for example.

Wednesday was my birthday, and I was woken up at 8:20 AM would you believe it by my uncle and cousin calling to wish me many happy returns. I was a bit sluggish and think I just muttered thank you, and was thinking, “why have you called me so early, damn it!” But it was good to talk to them of course and after that everyone got up. The day didn’t get off to a great start because my foot which had been hurting for the past few days for some unknown reason was causing me great pain, so much so that I could hardly walk on it and was forced to call the chiropodist first thing to get an appointment. Luckily she saw me within the hour, so I threw on some clothes and left the house, leaving my gifts unopened for the time being. After examining my foot and listening to what my symptoms were, she said it appeared that I had a case of Gout, would you believe, which is bought on by either too much spicey food, or acidic alcohol. Well I’d drank wine every night the week previously which I don’t usually do, so the build up of acid must have caused it to flare up. The bad news was that unless I saw the doctor and had my blood tested there wasn’t much she could do to ease the pain, as it’s a form of arthuritis that attacks the joints of the foot. So I spent the day in flat shoes, not walking around much, and haven’t drank wine since. It’s a lot better now although it still aches a little, and I haven’t managed to get to the doctor yet to have it checked out and something proscribed.

So after that incident I came back home and DL got out the camcorder while I opened my gifts. I mainly had money from my family which is always nice and from my mum I had some dvd’s, a beautiful pair of earings, a stunning chrystal candle holder and a framed photograph of myself in the middle of Times Square in New York. DL gave me a gorgeous matching ring and necklace which I told her off for because it must have cost her a fortune, and she was very sheepish and said she knew I would be mad but that they were so beautiful that she had to buy them. She also bought me the new dvd of Pink live at Wembly, the same tour that we went to see which I was very pleased with. I also got some beautiful cards, some that were hand made, others that were brailled, we had a great laugh trying to read my mum’s Braille which was full of mistakes, the same ones she makes every year bless her. This card read: “to ux precious daughter, happy twenmy firsq birthday, lots of loblei, mum xxxxxxx.” Heehee, you have to love her, ten out of ten for effort! In one card from my uncle he had found the worsed possible photograph of me when I was a kid that you could ever imagine and pasted it in to the card. The caption was something like, “you’re as cute now as you were then”, and the photo is of me looking very wind swept, my dress billowing up around my waste and my hair blowing wild in the wind, and a grimace on my face taken when I was about four years old. It had mum in fits of laughter and she proceeded to show it to everyone who came to the party that night, very embarrassing indeed.

When the gifts were all opened we ate breakfast, drank shampagne and watched the Pink dvd, and then set about preparing the flat for the party. Mum and DL put up birthday banners while I blew up balloons which seemed to scare the poor dog, especially when she burst one, and after that we began cooking the food. By the time we’d finished the big kitchen table was crammed full of lovely things to eat, we’d sorted out a party play list on the Ipod, and the flat was ready. Origionally mother was supposed to head home before the party, but she’d done such a wonderful job of helping us prepare and it was so obvious that she didn’t want to go home that I asked her to stay. Honestly though my mother is more of a party animal than myself, she’s far more inclined to get even more drunken and embarrassing than I ever could, but thankfully she behaved herself and got quietly tipsy and chatted to all my friends.

People began arriving at around nine with bottles containing various sorts of alcohol, and birthday presents, some of which included a gorgeous silver jewellery box from Kim, a bottle of Bailies from Helen, a home made cake from Simon, a gorgeous necklace from Frankie that she very drunkenly insist I put on, and lots of chocolate and things from Lush which I adore. By ten the flat was packed and I was struggling to make it around to say hello to every one in turn and make sure everyone was ok and had a drink and something to eat, but by about eleven thirty some people had left because of getting up for work etc and it was a little more manageable. After that there was room to dance, of which I did quite a lot with various different people, and the patio doors were open for people to smoke and the music was great. After that the birthday cake, or should I say cakes, being a chocolate cake from my mother, the home made cake from Simon and a Bailies cheese cake that DL had baked especially, all came out and were forced on people who had crammed themselves full with food from the buffet wich was very amusing. I was asked to make a speech and got very embarrassed and just told everyone to eat, drink and be merry, at which everyone cheered and the party resumed, thank goodness. I did have a bit of an emotional moment when a drunken Frankie started saying that I couldn’t go and live in London because I would be missed too much, but I told her to shut up and save that for my leaving party which will be in a couple of weeks. I also spent a lot of time talking to the gorgeous Helen, who insisted that I go to Climax that coming Friday night, which I couldn’t do because I was due to go to London to view houses. She and several others tried to railroad me in to going, but I tackfully said I’d consider it so they’d stop hastling me, having no intention of going of course because I needed to head down on the Friday for a full day of house viewings on the Saturday. By two A.M we were dropping and ready for bed, and finally coaxed the last few people out the front door at just after two thirty to drunkenly make their way home, after which we covered up the remaining food and collapsed in to bed. It was honestly a wonderful day, a birthday I’ll never forget and I am truly, truly blessed to have such wonderful, caring, devoted friends around me. I’m going to miss them all terribly, and I daren’t think about it or I’ll cry.

On Thursday morning DL and I had to be up bright and early. For my birthday last year she’d given me a spa day as a gift, and I’d never got round to booking it until now. So we decided I’d keep it for this birthday instead and we’d go the day after. We were booked in to have our first treatment at eleven and had to be at the Hilton hotel looking reasonably smart, not just like we’d had a heavy night of partying and only a few hours sleep. We staggered out of bed about an hour before we had to be there and to be honest neither of us felt like going very much. But when we got there that soon changed, we each had a back and neck massage followed by a facial and then had full use of the pool, steam room, jacusi and sauna for the rest of the day. The massage was just what I needed, and she did it deep and hard just how I like it, (stop sniggering!) and by the end all the tention had gone from my back muscles. The facial was also heavenly, although I started needing a wee half way through and spent the second half clenching my pelvic floor and wishing she’d hurry up and finish so I could go to the bathroom. It left my skin feeling wonderful though and took away the tired look from around my eyes. After the treatments we headed to the pool and spent a blissful few hours floating around in warm bubbly water, and clensing our bodies in the sauna and steam rooms, before hunger hit us and we dressed and headed home for a very late lunch. While we were at the spa we had a bit of a serious chat, and both clearly know where we stand. The basic facts are that we are not going to get back together anytime soon, if at all. Neither of us wants a relationship right now, and we’re going to work on the friendship. DL even talked about a woman she knows who she quite likes and I told her she should pursue it and see where it goes. She certainly knows I intend to do the same if some one comes along who grabs my interest. So yeah, that’s the story, I’m free and single and not leading anyone anywhere, and I feel much better for us having the talk.

The rest of the day I spent calling people to try and organise my house viewings, but didn’t manage to get it sorted until the Friday evening. On Friday we drove down to London in the afternoon, and went out with our ex house mate Doctor Taylor in the evening for drinks and met her current house mates who are all lovely. I think DL quite likes a French girl that doctor T lives with, called Elodie, just a sense I get when she’s around her. I won’t bore you with the details of house hunting, let’s just say it was a day of stress and hell. It was the FA cup final and every man and his dog was trying to get to Wembly fucking stadium on the fucking tube, so every fucking train was ridiculously overcrowded, and it took us hours to get anywhere. I was hours late for each appointment and had to keep calling people to appologise, and the majority of places I viewed were either in bad areas, or shitty houses. I was really beginning to give up hope and had one more house to visit. I should have been there at one PM and it was now four thirty. I’d texted the land lord throughout the day explaining the situation,and sheepishly called to see if it was still ok to view. He said it was fine and to come straight over, so we followed directions and arrived at the house. He had explained that there was building work going on in his back garden, they were putting in a new patio so the place was a bit of a mess. When we arrived the front door was open and there were workmen’s tools outside. So I knocked on the door and called inside, and a foreign guy came to the door. I said I was here to see the room for rent, and he disappeared inside, and came back out with about three or four other foreign guys, who all just stared at us. I tried again to explain who I was and why I was there, and they just kept repeating what I was saying, obviously not understanding. Mortified we turned away, thinking we’d got the wrong house and I again called the landlord who met us on the main road, and took us back to the very same house. Well then we all started to laugh, because it turned out that he had popped out for a minute and it was the pollish builders I had spoken too who hardly spoek English, and it was the right house afterall. The place might have been a mess with tools and dust everywhere, but the beauty of the place was apparent even then. The land lord and his partner are a gay couple and bought the house a year ago in a house auction and have basically gutted it and started from scratch. Downstairs is all wood floors just like in the flat I’m in now. The lounge is lovely and open and large, with comfortable and modern furniture and patio doors leading to the back garden. There is a separate kitchen and bathroom, and then upstairs are three bedrooms, one of which will be mine. It’s a double room, smaller than the one I have here, but it’s got everything I need, double bed, desk, wardrobes, small table and a fridge so I won’t need to take any bulky furniture with me. The gay couple are lovely, the only ones to offer us a drink the whole day, even though they were busy with the builders and so on, and they loved the dog. Apparently there’s another girl living there who I didn’t meet, she’s german and staying for a couple of months. The rent is really cheap for London prices, I just have to give a month’s notice when I want to leave, and it’s in a lovely area, a bus ride away from the underground in North London which is where I wanted to be. There’s also a lovely little park just next door where I can take Una for walks, so it’s ideal. I was so relieved to have found somewhere I liked, and yesterday I called the land lord and said I’d be happy to take the room. He’s sending me a contract via email and I start renting from the third of June, actually moving in on the twelfth. I’m so excited and it’s such a weight off my mind knowing I’ve actually got somewhere.

So now all I have to concentrate on is the remaining two weeks of my finals that I have left. I handed an essay in today and have one more plus an exam to revise for. Roll on June 1st!

Gosh, I'm so busy!

Three weeks til freedom! Three weeks til freedom! That's my mantra at the moment to get me through the bordom of writing essays and revising for exams. I recently got some grades back and they were fine so it looks as though the hard work is paying off. I did some calculations the other day and if I carry on getting the grades I have been, I should definitely get a 2:1, so that's keeping my momentum up. It's been much of the same really over the past week, just alternating between working and flat hunting. I had almost given up hope and then today I had four phone calls and will hopefully go and view some propperties next Saturday. My social life has also been excellent though, I seem to have the whole work/play balance going on, although after this week my social calendar has to be completely empty and I'll have to start saying no to going for drinks etc so that i can stay home and just work work work. So far this week, on Tuesday I had my friends Mel and Rosie round for dinner which was lovely. I cooked and we drank lots of wine and chatted lots, mostly about sex and relationships funnily enough haha. Mel's in her 40's and has two teenage kids and hasn't had a guy around for a long time, so she regails us with stories of her youth and her kids etc which are always very funny. Then on Wednesday I worked for most of the evening and then went up to the flat above to see M and R, and A my flatmate was there too, plus R's boyfriend. There I drank more wine, and competed in Shower Off, which is going to be the new sport that got started right here in this apartment block, unless other people have done it before which we don't know about. It's absolutely hilarious especially after a few glasses of wine. Everyone has to have a shower, and use the same products which in our case were shampoo, conditioner and shower jell. Some one has to stand outside the bathroom with a stop watch and time how long it takes you to get in to the bathroom, have a shower and get out again, and obviously whoever does it in the fastest time is the winner. Whell origionally in fourth place it was M, then A my flatmate, then R who did it in just under three minutes. So i was like, "I could so beat you all," and I don't think they believed me, so I went and got my towel and hair stuff and competed. I did it in a record breaking 1 minute 58 seconds, which i think is quite impressive. I think I pissed R off because he's very competitive and didn't think he'd get beaten, it was hilarious. So far no one else has beaten my score, we need to set up a score board on facebook so people can join the group and write their scores. Heehee, it was a great way to de-stress. Then on Thursday I went over to have dinner with the girl's from choir, one of which I'm rather attracted too as I've mentioned before. They're both lovely though and planning to get married which is obviously wonderful, they seem very happy and I'm really looking forward to the wedding, they're very well suited. There I drank, you guessed it, yet more wine, and then last night I had friends over for drinks and a smoke which was great. I've never actually gotten stoned before, I've been passively stoned but never smoked myself, and so I am no longer a weed virgin after last night. It didn't really affect me that much, I must have quite a high tolerance to it or something, but we had a great time and the last people didn't leave until after two. Today I've been for coffee with my very, very, very cute friend Helen, which has done my head in slightly because we did rather a lot of flirting, and I've always found her attractive but we've either both or either one of us has been in relationships while we've known each other, so I have to behave myself. If she ever does become single while I am though I'll most definitely make a play to seduce her. I just have this mental image of her in my bed, me trailing kisses all down her body until she starts beging for it. Hmm, ok that's enough of that!

Next week is going to be hectic. It's my birthday mid week and so on Monday my dad's coming to take me out for dinner, Tuesday my mother and DL are coming and we'll go out that night, Wednesday I'm having a party here at the flat, Thursday DL and I are going for a pampa day at the Spa at the Hilton, then Friday we're both going down to London and I'm viewing houses on Saturday. Phew, and I have to fit work in somewhere too. My god! Well I'm home all weekend now so I should get stuff done.

* * *

Ok saying that, Kim just called possibly wanting to go to the gay bar in town for drinks tonight, and I'm well up for that! So maybe not staying in all weekend afterall. I'm feeling very troublesome today, I'm in the mood to do something wild... It probably won't happen though, I'm not usually that lucky. What I'd really like is to meet a very sexy lady while I'm out tonight, and have her totally seduce me in to a night of passion. Maybe I'll text Helen and let her know where we are, just in case she might want to come join us... *slaps own wrists* Will I ever learn to behave?

House Hunting

Hmm, trying to find somewhere to live in London might not be as easy as I thought it would be. What with it being the biggest city in the UK and all that you'd think there would be scores of places to rent. Well there are, but they're either not in the areas I want to live in, and believe me I'm not being too discriminating, only ruling out the getto types, or they're waaaay out of my price range. I've emailed a couple of people today hoping they'll get back to me, and I've spoken to one woman on the phone who sounded lovely, only the house is quite far from my job, and the bedroom doesn't have any furniture, hmm. Part of the problem is as soon as I mentioned the word "dog" most people are like uh' uh, doesn't matter that she's the cutest labrador ever!

Actually speaking of Una, she's been ill all this week. We've been to the vets twice, and she's on antibiotics for gastroenteritis, and has thankfully stopped throwing up everywhere for the time being, poor thing. So the dog being sick, added to how much work I have to do in the next four weeks, added to the fact that I have to move out in five weeks and I don't have anywhere to live yet, added to my birthday being in two weeks and people consistently asking me what I'm doing to celebrate and me not having a clue what to do to celebrate, is turning me in to one big ball of stress. Grrr! Oh well guess I'd better get back to tralling internet sites looking for a new home for me and my pooch.