Thursday, October 25, 2007

Exposed

EXPOSED

THIS WEEK IS TURNING OUT TO BE QUITE A WEEK FOR SOCIAL EVENTS AND MEETING NEW PEOPLE. I’VE MAINLY BEEN GOING TO STUFF ORGANISED BY PEOPLE FROM THE BOARDS ON GB, SIGNIFICANT BECAUSE MY BLOG IS LINKED TO MY PROFILE ON THAT SITE. SOMETHING THAT WAS BOUGHT TO MY ATTENTION WHEN CHATTING TO PEOPLE IS HOW MANY PEOPLE ACTUALLY CLICK ON THE LINK AND READ IT. BECAUSE MY OLDER FRIENDS KNOW I HAVE A BLOG AND SOME HAVE BLOGS THEMSELVES WE RARELY SPEAK ABOUT WHAT I WRITE, UNLESS IT IS DRAWN TO THEIR ATTENTION FOR A SPECIFIC REASON. BUT A COUPLE OF TIMES THIS WEEK MY BLOG HAS BEEN MENTIONED BY PEOPLE I DON’T REALLY KNOW. NICE IN ONE WAY BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY HAVING A READERSHIP IS KIND OF IMPORTANT TO ME, IT’S GOOD TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE COME BACK TO IT TO FIND OUT HOW I’M DOING OR WHAT’S BEEN GOING ON, BUT MY READERSHIP HAS UP UNTIL NOW BEEN VERY CLOSE FRIENDS OR PEOPLE I DON’T KNOW. SO WHAT I DID FIND DISCONCERTING WAS THE THOUGHT THAT ANYONE WHO I MIGHT MEET WHO READS THE BLOG GETS A VERY DETAILED AND FRANK DESCRIPTION OF MY PRIVATE LIFE, WHILE I KNOW VERY LITTLE ABOUT THEM. NOW WE ALL KNOW THAT I’M USUALLY VERY OPEN, I’M PROUD OF MY SEXUALITY AND I’M HARDLY A WALL FLOWER, BUT I COULDN’T HELP FEELING A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN, ON GOING TO A MEET LAST NIGHT FOR LOCAL LESBIANS, A COUPLE OF PEOPLE REFERED TO THE SEX PARTY I’D BEEN TO. DON’T GET ME WRONG, IT’S NOT THAT I DON’T WANT PEOPLE TO DISCUSS THINGS LIKE THAT, IF I WRITE ABOUT THEM AND PUT MY THOUGHTS OUT THERE FORE EVERYONE TO READ IT’S HARDLY SURPRISING THAT PEOPLE WILL COMMENT. IT JUST CONCERNS ME SLIGHTLY THAT SOME ONE WHO I COULD POTENTIALLY END UP DATING MIGHT HAPPEN TO CLICK ON TO MY BLOG, AND KNOW MY RELATIONSHIPS AND SEXUAL HISTORY OF THE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS, WHEREAS I HARDLY KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THEM, AT ALL. I GUESS WHAT I WAS FEELING WHEN THE TOPIC CAME UP LAST NIGHT WAS AN IMBALANCE OF KNOWLEDGE. THAT SOME OF MY MOST PRIVATE THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND FANTASIES WERE COMMON KNOWLEDGE TO THESE PEOPLE, WHEREAS I WAS ONLY JUST BEGINNING TO EVEN KNOW THEM. I GUESS IT JUST TAKES A BIT OF GETTING USED TOO, BUT I HAVE CONSIDERED REMOVING THE LINK FROM THIS PARTICULAR SITE SO THAT FEWER PEOPLE I MIGHT HAPPEN TO MEET SOCIALLY HAVE ACCESS TO THE BLOG. IT MIGHT JUST MAKE ME FEEL A BIT MORE COMFORTABLE ABOUT SAYING WHAT I REALLY WANT TO SAY, RATHER THAN WORRYING IT MIGHT COME UP WITH SOME ONE I’M ON A DATE WITH, OR GETTING TO KNOW SOCIALLY. IT COMES BACK TO THE FACT THAT THERE’S ALWAYS A BATTLE WITH BLOGGING IN TERMS OF PRIVACY. DO YOU REMAIN COMPLETELY ANONYMOUS, NOT DISCLOSE YOUR IDENTITY TO ANYONE, NOT LINK YOUR BLOGS ANYWHERE ONLINE? OR DO YOU DO AS I HAVE CHOSEN TO, AND BE COMPLETELY OPEN, NO HIDDEN IDENTITIES, WRITE FRANKLY AND HONESTLY AND JUST DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT PEOPLE PROBABLY KNOW YOU BETTER THAN YOU DO THEM.

ANYWAY, ENOUGH OF MY PRIVACY CONCERNS…
I MET A LOVELY GROUP OF WOMEN ON MONDAY NIGHT. I WENT TO A MEET FOR FEMMES WHO LIKE FEMMES AT A BAR IN TOWN AND IT WAS GREAT. THERE WERE SOME EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE WOMEN PRESENT WHICH IS ALWAYS A BONUS, AND I MADE FRIENDS WITH A REALLY LOVELY COUPLE WHO I’VE INVITED ROUND FOR DINNER SOMETIME. ON TUESDAY MY MOTHER ARRIVED FOR HER BIRTHDAY WITH MY UNCLE IN TOE WHICH WAS A SURPRISE, AND I TOOK THEM TO COVENT GARDEN WHERE WE DID SOME SHOPPING AND I BOUGHT A NEW PAIR OF TROUSERS AND SOME NEW TIMS, AND IN THE EVENING WE WENT TO AN IRANIAN RESTAURANT RECOMMENDED BY A WOMAN FROM THE FEMMES MEET. THE FOOD WAS DELICIOUS, ALTHOUGH GETTING MY FAMILY TO APPRECIATE FOOD THAT ISN’T BRITISH OR ITALIAN IS QUITE DIFFICULT. LAST NIGHT I WENT TO A MEET UP FOR GAY WOMEN IN THE LOCAL AREA, WHICH WAS GOOD BECAUSE A I DIDN’T HAVE TO TRAVEL VERY FAR AND B IT’S NICE TO GET TO KNOW PEOPLE WHO LIVE FAIRLY LOCALLY. TONIGHT I HAVE A DATE WHICH I’M QUITE LOOKING FORWARD TOO, I’VE ONLY SPOKEN TO THE WOMAN I’M MEETING ONLINE SO IT’LL BE INTERESTING TO SEE WHAT SHE IS LIKE. SPEAKING OF WHICH I’D BETTER GO AND GET READY OR I’LL BE LATE.

** ** **

JUST GOT BACK FROM THE DATE, WHICH WAS VERY NICE. THE WOMAN I MET WAS INTELLIGENT, A GOOD CONVERSATIONALIST AND SHE MADE ME LAUGH WHICH IS ALWAYS GOOD. MY POINT WAS PROVEN ENTIRELY THOUGH WHEN, PART WAY THROUGH DINNER SHE SAID, “SO… I’VE READ SOME OF YOUR BLOG.” IMMEDIATELY MY HEART SANK AND I KNEW WHAT WAS COMING NEXT. “DID YOU REALLY GO TO THAT SEX PARTY?”
SO AFTER WE DISCUSSED SAID PARTY I COULDN’T HELP SAYING, “OK SO NOW YOU HAVE TO TELL ME YOUR SEXUAL HISTORY.” AND I DID EXPLAIN TO HER THAT THE IMBALANCE MADE ME SLIGHTLY UNCOMFORTABLE. WE HAD A LAUGH ABOUT IT THOUGH AND MY SEXUAL ANTICS DIDN’T SEEM TO PHASE HER. MAYBE IT COULD BE A GOOD THING THAT WOMEN KNOW HOW ADVENTUROUS I CAN BE BECAUSE THEN THEY KNOW WHAT THEY’RE LETTING THEMSELVES IN FOR, HEEHEE. SERIOUSLY THOUGH, I REALLY AM GOING TO REMOVE THE LINK BECAUSE I WOULD MUCH RATHER MY ADVENTUROUS SIDE BE BOUGHT UP IN CONVERSATION BECAUSE I WANT IT TO BE, NOT BECAUSE SOME ONE HAS READ ALL ABOUT IT. I HAD A LOVELY EVENING THOUGH AND CAN SEE A POTENTIAL FRIENDSHIP FORMING IF NOTHING ELSE HAPPENS. SO WHAT’S THE PLANB FOR THE WEEKEND? I’M OUT TOMORROW NIGHT, AND THEN I’M NOT SURE WHAT’S GOING ON THE REST OF THE TIME, THIS IS THE WEEKEND I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GOING TO THE LESBIAN ARTS FESTIVAL WITH DL WHICH I’M OBVIOUSLY NOT GOING TO NOW, SO MAYBE I’LL DO SOMETHING SPONTANEOUS INSTEAD.

Also, appologies if this post has come out in capital letters, my lap top appears to be having a fit.

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