Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Changing, staying the same

Ok, so I haven't changed blogs just yet, I'm still debating the matter, so in the meantime here's what's been going on in the world of me.

So I finally got all my essays handed in, the last one on the 24th. Can't tell you how good it felt to be done with them all, I spent most of that day being absolutely shattered though and had a long lie in the day after. Last Thursday I went out with a group of friend's from uni which was lovely. We went to a gay club in town and I had a great time. Now I'm the kind of person who never gets a girl in clubs. Whether it's because I don't make eye contact with people and so can't start anything with anyone because it's just too loud to have a conversation, or whether it's simply because i'm not attractive to lesbian clubbers I have no idea, but on this occasion I did! Virtually as soon as we got in there our group was approached by a woman who went round introducing herself and chatting to each of us. I remember thinking it must be wonderful to be so confident that you can walk up to a group of strangers and just start a conversation and I admired her for that. She came over to me and we started talking and dancing, and I remember thinking she was reasonably atractive. Then she said she was there with her friend, and introduced her to me, and oh my, her friend was lovely. She said she's recently split from her girlfriend and was on a night out, so we were in a similar situation which was good. We were chatting and dancing and she made sure I always had a full glass which was lovely. I said to S, a gay male friend of mine how lovely she was, and apparently she had also said similar to him, so we kind of got pushed together and left to dance away from the group. So you know what came next, she asked if she could kiss me and I said yes, and we spent the rest of the evening dancing, talking and kissing and it was soooo nice. She was a fantastic kisser and that's important to me, if a girl can't kiss propperly it puts me right off. By the end of the night we had exchanged numbers and she's texted me asking me out on a date, so we're going some time next week. I'm really looking forward to it. I also received lots of comments about how amazing my breasts are from several different women which was a major high point for me. I should wear that red top more often.

On the Friday, DL arrived for the weekend. I can't remember whether I mentioned she was coming, but she wanted to collect the rest of her things and to catch up with friends in sheffield, so she stayed for the weekend. All in all we had a nice time. It was emotional for both of us, but we didn't really fight that much and we went shopping and out for food and i cooked a lot and we generally just spent time together inn between her catching up with her friends. I did however fuck up, and yes, I know I fucked up, without anyone else passing comment, including DL's best friend who decided to lay in to me verbally yesterday. The truth is, when she arrived on Friday night, we were both feeling emotional, we'd missed each other and so we ended up in bed together. I have to say that I regretted it as soon as it'd happened, and when we discussed it I told her so and that it didn't feel right because we are no longer together. For the most part she agreed, so I'm noping it's provided some closure for us both now. When she left yesterday morning she was very emotional and we don't plan to see each other for a while now, to give us both and especially her space and time to move on. So that's it, it's done, over, finito, and the physical stuff will most certainly NOT happen again.

Other than that, I'm out every night this week doing various different things, including going for drinks with friends tomorrow and out on Friday for a friend's birthday. A school friend, the one I'm hopefully going to go and visit in China in March is possibly coming to stay for a couple of days too, and it'll be great to see her and catch up on her hectic life. In terms of the grrl front, I obviously have a date next week, I'm meeting up with a spanish woman who I met through the local lesbian group for coffee, I might be having another visitor the weekend after this one and one woman is being a bit too full on while another is backing off. I'm not naming names. So... we'll see how it goes. Right now I'm off to get breakfast and have a lazy day in my pajamas.


Kasey said...



jromer said...

my goodness, good luck with your full dance card! it is hard to navigate that road from lovers to friends but you guys can do it and a time apart sounds necessary. good luck with that.