Cama

You never really know what people are thinking…

I can’t find the words to describe how I feel at the moment, angry, hurt, upset, mortified?...

I met Casual Lover at a club back in late January. We hit it off straight away and started seeing each other on a casual, no strings basis and have been doing so for the past couple of months. At one point she was texting me all the time wanting to come over and for just over a week or so in February we saw each other practically every night. Things cooled off slightly as I was busy and she was too, but we always kept in touch by text and met up once every couple of weeks. Most of the time it was she who would text me, and in the week before I went away she texted me everyday asking when she could see me and saying that she didn’t want me to go away without us meeting up first. So on the day before I left for the US I found a couple of hours to go and see her. She was really glad to see me, we had great sex as usual and arranged to spend the night together on the 30th, which was last night. So when I got back I texted her to let her know and she sent one back saying she’d missed me, or more to the point the great sex and that she was still coming over on Friday.

So last night she appeared at around eight thirty, I dressed sexily and we sat and watched part of a film before she said she really wanted to take me to bed. So we went to bed and slept together which didn’t go as well as planned because half way through she slipped and cut me with her fingernail and after that was too self conscious to carry on touching me. So I had her and my pleasure was in making her come and we fell asleep exhausted at around one.

This morning when I woke up she was already awake and after a short time of us lying and talking she said she had to go fairly soon as she had friends coming to visit today and she had to get her house clean and tidy. I offered her breakfast which she declined, then she got up and dressed and left fairly soon after that. I said I’d text her to meet up again when I got back from London and she said that was fine.

Five minutes after she left, I received a text message that read, “I’ve escaped! Waiting for a bus! My Lord I couldn’t get out quick enough! See you in a bit, X”.
Horrified I checked the date and time of the message and reread it several times before texting her back saying that that message obviously wasn’t meant for me to read. She then sent one back saying, “I’m sorry you found out this way, but I didn’t feel comfortable doing what we did. The thing is I’ve met some one I like. Needed to get out of yours this morning because it didn’t feel right.”
Right, well that’s all well and good, but what a horrible thing to do to let me find out like that. It doesn’t bother me that I won’t see her again, what does is that she chose to be dishonest about the way she was feeling. She came over last night and instigated sex, which she didn’t have to do. She spent the night in my bed and then talks about me in this way to whoever she was texting? My God! Why couldn’t she have just been honest and A not come over last night or B come over and not stayed the night and explained she’d met some one else, or even C just sent me a text saying she couldn’t see me anymore! It was an absolutely horrible way to find out how she felt, and I can’t tell you how upset I was to know that we’d built up at least some of a connection over the past few months, and that we’d spent last night together and that she could be so disrespectful. I feel stupid, like a fool and right now I never want to have casual sex ever again. I can’t believe the immaturity, she could have handled it so differently, there was no need for me to get hurt.

After that I sent her a message back saying, “You didn’t have to stay over last night. You could have been honest about it, how do you think that knowing you hated being with me last night makes me feel? Fuck you!”
She replied saying that she came because she wasn’t sure that she could keep the arrangement and that she didn’t hate it. I said that the decision had been made and that I never wanted to see her again and that I couldn’t believe something so good had ended so badly. Her reply was, “Yeah the decision was made the same by me. I am truly sorry but I never said I was a nice person, you won’t hear from me again. Hope all works out for you.”
She has a tattoo on her hip saying, “What goes around comes around.” I sincerely hope it does…