Thursday, November 30, 2006

What about me?

For once in my life I’m being selfish. Actually I’m not being selfish, because if I were I would shout and scream and cry and give everyone hell because I’m breaking up inside. But I don’t.
Every night I toss and turn, sleep evading me, violent painful dreams occupying my mind when I do slumber.
But every morning I drag myself out of bed, I put on a smile along with my clothes, and I get on with every day.
But just because I have a hard outer shell.
Just because I smile and sound cheerful.
Just because I take time out to talk about something other than myself.
Just because I don’t shout or scream.
Just because I’m not breaking down crying at every given opportunity.
Doesn’t mean I’m not in pain.
I hurt too.
So what about me…?

4 comments:

Dora said...

*hugs*

Anonymous said...

Sometimes people do tend to forget that a person is hurting when they seem very in control on the outside...I guess people assume the person can handle it and doesn't need support, too...Even if not consciously thinking it through like that.

Am sorry you're having a hard time. Just know that people care and are available to talk if you need that.

You're a gem...hang in there...

Anonymous said...

i have been reading a while. i am sorry fo ryour loss and i hope something can be salvaged from this. take care of you! poet

Sean said...

*bear hug*

I think you have a right to speak your mind and, yeah, put yourself first. You won't be giving your friends hell; above all else, we don't want you to deny yourself because that's what we love about you.

Whatever you might want to bring up, whenever, there are certainly people out there, myself included, who value your emotions and your wellbeing highly and are more than willing to lend an ear and what advice they can should you want it. We do take your wellbeing very seriously and will always be on the end of a phone line or net connection whenever you need us.

Take care