Driving home for christmas

Well, what can I say, things couldn't run smoothly forever...

I don't want to go in to detail, but things got messy between DL and I over the weekend, we crossed lines verbally, emotionally and physically that should never be crossed and I'm not proud of the way either of us behaved. It's changed things between us and I think it'll be a while before we can resolve any kind of friendship. We've hurt each other too much, yesterday she took the day off work because she hadn't slept at all the night before. She cried uncontrolably last night, for hours, saying she felt like she was going crazy. Not knowing what to do I called her mum and said that despite what DL might want, she needed to be at home with her family because I thought that being around me was hurting her more than helping her. So this morning she threw everything in to bags and left in a state of anger and tears. I heard the tyres of the car screetch off down the road as she flawed the peddle. I just hope she'll be ok...

My mum's coming to pick me up this afternoon and so I'll be staying there longer than planned. More than likely after a couple of days I'll be going crazy being back at my parents, but right now I can't think of anything I'd like more than to curl up on my mum's couch before the fire, drinking tea and eating home made cooking.
I just hope the pain eases for both of us, and that we can make the best of christmas. I'm just not thinking about anything, that's the way I'm coping at the moment because I know if I let myself cry, that'll be it, I'll be useless, and I won't allow myself to get that way.
So, I'm going home for xmas, I'll keep you posted...