Misguided Faith

Last night DL and I went to see United 93 at the cinema, the film about the plane that didn't hit its target on September 11th. I didn't think it would have such a profound effect on me, but it did.

Through most of it I just felt nervous, as it takes quite a while to describe the unravelling of events. I felt extremely angry towards the terrorists involved, no matter what their beliefs, they had no concern for human life, and would kill anyone who got in the way. I was fine until the end, but when the plane hits the ground, it was like it all just hit me in one go. On the actual day of September 11th, I was at school, and so didn't really take much notice of what was happening. I guess at that point, as a teenager, my life was more important than world events. But last night I finally realised the full extent of the horrific events that errorism brings, and by the end I was sobbing. I thought about all the lives lost on that day. All the families now without a loved one, the kids growing up without parents. And I also thought of London. That did effect me last year, DL and I were in Cyprus by the pool and they started broadcasting the after shock of the explotions on the tv at the bar. Frantic, we went to watch, and immediately started calling friends and family who lived in London. Thankfully they were all ok, but I remember sitting there feeling helpless, and I couldn't settle until I knew everyone was ok. It felt strange being in London afterwards, and took time to get used to again. So I thought of them both last night, and I also questioned, what is it for? Some misguided faith in a God who would surely not want them to do these things. What happens when they marter themselves, are they punished? Is there a hell and are they sent there? Why do they believe themselves to be any different to any other murderer? I'm not sure I will ever understand, but seeing the planning that must have gone in to September 11th, makes me fearful of what is to come next. I thought about the children DL and I plan to have in the future, and I'm not sure I want to bring them in to a world such as this is. It makes me very, very sad.