Waterfall

She arrived in a short skirt, knee high boots, fish net stockings and a basque.
We drank wine, lots of it, chatted, kissed.
We stood together in the kitchen while she smoked cigarettes, my hand on her waste.
On the couch we touched, she leaning her head on my shoulder, me stroking her hair and back.
Later in bed, our clothes on the floor we entered each other, bodies sliding together, kissing constantly.
She came. Everywhere. On the bed, the towels that I’d fortunately placed to hand. In my mouth. On my pelvis as we grinded together. Rivers of it, cascading from her like a waterfall, powerful, intense, beautiful. She apologised, I told her not to be sorry.
Afterwards we sat facing each other on the bed, legs entwined, my thighs on hers, arms wrapped tightly around each other, kissing and talking, my hands in her hair, hers on the small of my back.
“perfecto,” she said, over and over again.
Today I am left with a hang over, a lot of washing to do, and a smile.
I’m glad I returned her call.

Fragments

I have had bad dreams and disturbed sleep every night this week. I don't really remember what the dreams were about, I just don't wake up feeling refreshed. Last night though I do remember something about being covered in shattered glass, and the glass was all over the floor and there was a girl there who was crazy and who kept smashing things. I had tiny fragments in my skin and hair and kept trying to pick them out without cutting myself.
I am tired most of the time and tend to fall asleep in the afternoons if I am home.
I read The Afghan by Frederick Forsyth in a couple of days and although I really enjoyed the book, I was disappointed with the anticlimax of an ending.
I went for a job interview on Tuesday to be a recruitment consultant, but due to the long hours, pressured environment and there being a score board in the office with everyone's commission scores on it I'm not sure I want the job.
Yesterday I went to an assessment centre for a graduate scheme and think I nailed it.
My friend Mr C came over today with his guitar and he played and I sang for about two hours. We are learning
this
and this
and hope to get a set together to play live somewhere.
The last time I made myself come was on Saturday. I haven't even attempted it, or even thought about it that much since then. So for once sex isn't the primary thing on my mind. I'm not even bothered if the spanish woman and I don't have sex tomorrow, it might actually be quite refreshing if we don't, but chances are we will because she's not coming over to play scrabble.
DL bought me Leona Lewis's debut album and I really like it. She told me to listen to
track 3
and that made me sad, to know that she feels that way.
I am eating a lot more than I should be at the moment. It's probably comfort eating, but the guy I walk the dog with once a week came today and said, "are you putting on weight?" Thankfully my head was in a cupboard looking for the dog whistle so he didn't see my face, but it really pisses me off that men think it's ok to say that to women. The next time he comes over I will be tempted to say, "has your dick shrunk? Only the buldge in your pants looks a lot smaller today."
I ordered a cab yesterday only to have it come and then the driver refuse to take me because I had the guide dog. That is actually against the law, but what can you do if the driver just leaves except report his ass and hope the authorities will revoke his licence.
Francesca and I are no longer friends, and I'm not really sure why. She is a very complex person and I can't seem to see the wood for the trees as far as working out her meaning is concerned. It's a shame we're no longer in touch, but I think it's probably for the best as we view things very differently and never seem to meet in the middle.
I cried for the first time in ages the other night. Cried propperly, balling, heaving sobs in to my pillow until my eyes were sore, my nose blocked and my head hurt. The release felt good.
Despite all this, I don't feel depressed, just in transition. Where I'm going and what I'm leaving behind, I'm not entirely sure yet.

Typical!

So just as I set myself the strict rule of being single and celibate, not dating or screwing anyone, some one up there decided to set me a challenge. I got a call this morning, or rather missed a call, and when I checked my messages, I had one that went rather like this.
"Hi, this is *insert name of the stunningly sexy medetaranean woman I screwed the hell out of at
the party.)
Please call me back when you get this."

So, I debated whether to call her or not, part of me wanting not to bother because of the way I feel at the moment, yet the curiocity in me wondering what she wanted and why she had chosen now to call me. So I called her back. She wants to meet up for "drinks and a chat" on Friday night. It's a bit difficult to explain to some one who doesn't speak good English that that's probably not a good idea because I'm trying not to get involved with anyone, or think with my pussy more importantly at the moment so we really should not meet up. I said yes. She's coming over on Friday night. That poses the question of, if her English is awful, and my spanish isn't that great, what are we going to do?...
Fuck! I think I might have just signed myself up for an evening of casual fun with a hot, femme, sexy woman. Oh well... What's a girl to do?
Don't look at me like that!

Bad Choices

I think that's what I've been making for a long time now. It has to stop. People only need the slightest reason to walk away, and they're gone. I put my faith in people, only to have it thrown back at me. Maybe I'm wrong to have faith, to trust people on their word, hope that everyone has good intentions. Because the simple fact is, they don't and most of the time people are just out for what they can get with no regard for anyone else. This isn't just the Cherry thing which has gone cold without any explanation. Maybe I am the explanation. I don't know. All I know is that lately I've spent more time feeling lonely, hurt or disappointed, angry or upset than I have happy. So I'm closing down the ranks, I'm not going to put myself out there again to get rejected or hurt. I'm going to stop being so open with other people and become guarded. No more casual sex, no more jumping in too fast. For now, it's just me on my own, and no one else. I've had enough. A year on from my break up with DL and I'm as lonely now as I was then. Maybe even more so having experienced more dishonest people, more selfishness. Bad choices are what it comes down to. Well no more, not if I can help it. The next woman who comes along who seriously wants to win me over is going to need a lot of strength and determination and a great deal of persevereance. I'm done with being an open book.

Not a happy bunny

I woke up this morning at around 9 AM and made a cup of tea, went back to bed and read a book for a couple of hours. I texted Cherry at around midday to see if and when she was coming over, and about two hours later she called me back saying that she had just woken up, and to give her an hour or so and she would be over. So during that hour or so I had a bath, made the bed, and put a fruit pie in the oven for us to eat later. By five PM I hadn't heard a thing so I texted half jokingly saying I hoped she hadn't fallen back to sleep. She called me and said that she was just watching her nephew's for a little while as her aunt was out, but that she would be leaving shortly. Two hours later, and she still hasn't called to say that she is on her way. Call me high maintenance, but being kept waiting around for most of the day does not put me in a good mood. This is a far cry from last weekend when she came over for breakfast and we spent the day in bed together. To be honest I'm half inclined to tell her to forget it if she does call to say she's coming, which is looking unlikely as she's leaving it late to come over. These aren't good seduction tactics at all and the anticipation and horniness that has been with me for most of this weekend is rapidly fading away. She's very much mistaken if she thinks she can just pop over here for an hour or whatever for a quick fuck and then leave after keeping me hanging on all day. As casual as this thing is, I'm not up for that.

My Spot

Cherry is coming over on Sunday and I can't wait. Last weekend when she was here and we'd been fucking for hours, she found the spot on my body, the spot that has nothing to do with my pussy but which, if kissed makes me go crazy. We were cuddling when she found it, and then when she saw my reaction we were fucking again. It makes me rithe in pure pleasure, it makes me moan and scream, makes me gasp and lose my breath, sends my muscles in to spasms, makes me so very wet. The feeling is so intense that I can't take it for long, but it's incredible. She was thrilled that she found it, thrilled at how she made me pur. I want her to find it again. I want that feeling. That intensity that draws my mind in to one electrified pin point of pure pulsating pleasure. I want it! I crave it! It's when I feel most alive. This time I want her to do it when she's inside me. So the two spots fuse and connect and wrip me apart until I can't tell where the source of my pleasure is. She wanted me to squirt for her last time, when I was coming. I couldn't manage it, haven't yet, with her. I think if she does that, I will. Rivers of it.

I don't think it will last long, with her. I mean the whole experience of she and I being connected in a sexual way. She is bisexual you see, and there in lies the problem. I am a synic when it comes to women who love both sexes. I have been taught to be by my own experiences. So I know that given time she will pull away from me in search of something more masculine. For now though I am her "little freak", or so she likes to call me, and she is giving me something I need. For now...
And I wish she was here tonight.

Another crush

Hmm, I have another crush. It has developed over the past couple of months and is now in full fury. I don't even know if she's gay. I see her quite a lot, I could see her every day if I wanted too because she works very close by. She's always very friendly and she's older than me. I find it difficult to chat to her without my mind wondering, and yes, I have thought about her while doing the kit cat shuffle. I wonder if she knows I like her... Probably not. It's nice to admire from a distance though, I just wish I knew which team she batted for.

Not quite right

Nothing has gone quite right this week for one reason or another. On Tuesday I had an appointment in the morning to test out some new satalite navigation technology that is supposed to help if you can't see, and in the afternoon I was set to have a job interview to be a trainee recruitment consultant. I got a call on Monday asking if they could move the interview to Thursday, fair enough, but then on the Tuesday morning I had a call from the tech guy saying he needed to rearrange because he was ill. I did have a rather productive day though sending off some more job application forms so that was ok. Stayed in on Tuesday night as the lesbian social group that usually meets up on a Tuesdays seems to have dispanded over the past few weeks, everyone having their own stuff on. Wednesday I got roped in to attending an event with a secret employer by a charity that I'm involved with, and it turned out to be some huge corperate finance company that I would have no interest in working for, so although it was nice I could have spent it doing better things. In the evening I went to the usual commedy night, to find that the usual compair was ill and that some one else was running it and it wasn't half as funny. Today I had a Virgin Media technition come to look at my TV as I've stopped getting two of the main channels, and he basically said that it should have never been installed because it wasn't serviceable in my building. So now I have to have it all uninstalled again and will have to find a new service provider for my phone, broadband and TV which is really annoying. And just to top it all off the company I was supposed to be having the interview with called and said they were having some problems within the company, the manager of the team I should have bene working for had been dismissed and the position wasn't vacant at the moment. They said they would keep my records on file but that they would have to cancel the interview. Jesus Christ! Next week though I have an assessment centre for a graduate scheme and I'm going to visit another recruitment consultants to see if I like the look of what they do, so fingers crossed. Also, Cherry and I have kept missing phone calls from each other all week long, either one of us being busy when the other tried to call for a chat. She just called while I was writing this though and we managed to speak for more than a few minutes, she wants to come over this weekend which is find by me as I'm more than ready for some more of what she has to offer! My dad is also here at the moment, he's in the kitchen cooking us dinner which is lovely of him, and he's bought the family dog who is currently snoozing in Una's bed.

Let's hope things get better over the weekend and that is the end of my run of bad luck.

Published!

Last week I was reading one of my favourite blogs,
this one
and on a whim decided to send in a submission. It was a story I'd written when breaking up with DL last year, a story I had kept private until now. I didn't really expect it to get published, I was so caught up in the telling when I wrote it, being so personally involved that I wasn't sure it was any good. As I hadn't heard anything back from the blog I assumed they'd just thought it was crap and hadn't published it, but when blog hopping a few minutes ago I found that indeed they had decided to publish my work. It's made my day and given me the kick up the ass I've been needing to get back in to writing as I've been neglecting it over the past few months because life has taken over. So you can go
here
to read it.
A big thanks to the team at The Lesbian Lifestyle!

Very good loving from a very bad girl!

I swear this girl is off the hook crazy wonderful. She left a little while ago after being here for most of the day, and most of that spent in bed together. When she got here I made breakfast and we sat and ate while she read the paper out loud and we chatted about the news. When we’d had enough of that we took the fresh strawberries to bed with us and oh my God what can I say about that? This woman is so damn hot. Thick lips, slim hips, a tight round ass and small perfectly formed breasts with big nipples. Plus, she’s a freak in the sheets! Yeah, maybe an even bigger freak than I am. We hardly stopped for a break all day, when she said she needed to rest it lasted for literally two minutes and then she was off again. The only time she moved from the bed was to refill our wine glasses and later we ate dinner on the sofa. I have to say I really like her. She’s very attentive, she’s versatile, open minded with no inhibitions, she’s absolutely hilarious, when we chatted she had me crying with laughter because she’s so charismatic. She’s bright and intelligent, well spoken and as sexy as hell. I’ll be dreaming about that ass all week long until I see her again. When it got to about 8 o’clock and we’d just eaten dinner, we went back to bed to lie together for a while before she left to go see her friends, and this was the nicest part besides the sex. She wrapped herself around me, really snuggled in close, as close as she could get, kissing me deeply with those big soft lips of hers and murmuring that she didn’t want to go. I gently tried to persuade her that we should move so that she could go be with her friends even though I didn’t want her to go either, but she refused to get up, holding on to me for dear life and so another round of fucking and over an hour later we were still there. I absolutely love casual sex with some one who knows how to give affection as well as fuck because it’s something I really miss about being single. So, after today, we’ll definitely be seeing each other again soon. For now though I’m heading off back to bed, this time to sleep and rest my aching limbs.