Two songs I am loving at the moment and which play constantly on my Pod are
No one
by Alicia Keys, who I'm going to see in concert in February, woo! Also
Bleeding Love
by Liona Lewis. What a voice! When I was younger my singing idol was
this woman
and although I think she's gone a little off the boil in recent years I still have mountains of respect for her tallent. I met her when I was thirteen years old at a concert and because she saw how emotional I was, instead of shaking my hand, she leaned across the security barrier and lifted me in to a hug and gave me a kiss. I cried all the way home with utter joy and disbelief. She too is touring next year and I'll be first in line for tickets when they go on sale. But I do think that Leona Lewis could be the next, and dare I say better than, devas like Celine, Mariah, Christina and Whitney. And she's british too so it's all good!
Anyway I just wanted to share those songs because they move me so much every time I listen to them. With the Alicia one you can hear the raw passion in her voice. I wonder what she went through in order to write such a song?
***
Cherry just called me saying she was feeling much better and that she had been up for hours and wanted to jump in a cab early this morning and come and wake me but decided not to in case I got annoyed. So she's heading over here now and we'll have the food for breakfast that I bought and then spend the day in bed. Aahh now that is my idea of what Sundays are made for. A sexy woman feeding me strawberries and licking the fruit juice from my throbbing clit...
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Disasterous evening!
Oh my fucking God, my worst nightmare just happened...
I went in to town this morning to meet my friend Col who I haven't seen in about three years. We were good friends when we were at college together but drifted apart when she got a boyfriend and hadn't really kept in touch. But recently through the wonders of facebook she had looked me up and we've been chatting. So today I went to meet her and it was actually great to catch up and see how she's doing. She's a diabetic and had gone in to renal faliure and has been on dialysis for some time now which was quite a shock. She's doing ok though and doesn't seem to be letting it stop her from doing much. We had lunch together and at about two I got a call from Cherry to ask what time she should come over. She mentioned that she was really hung over and hadn't gotten in until 6 this morning from a night out but said she was just getting up and we agreed she'd come over at around 7 or 8. I left Col at around three and on my way home I stopped at the supermarket to buy croissants, strawberries and some wine. I came home, cleaned the flat, put fresh sheets on the bed, put new batteries in the toys I thought we might use, showered and moisturised, put on sexy underwear and perfume and was just getting ready to start cooking dinner when the door bell rang. My God she's early, I thought, but excited all the same I ran to open the door. And you'll never believe who was there. The weird woman from downstairs. I couldn't believe it, my face must have been an absolute picture, and I was so shocked that before I knew what was happening she had pushed past me and was taking a tour of my flat. I stood in the living room, my hands on my hips, a look of complete bewilderment mixed with outrage on my face. When I didn't offer to make her a cup of tea she said, "have I called at a bad time?"
"Well actually yes you have," I said. "I'm having a friend round for dinner and she'll be here any minute."
"Oh," she said, and still didn't make any move to leave. She'd been talking about something or other for a couple of minutes when my mobile rang. This is where it gets worse because it was Cherry saying that she'd been throwing up all day and couldn't get out of bed, and could we reskedule for tomorrow. I felt kind of awful on the phone because although I was obviously gutted that she wasn't coming round, I was more mortified that the woman from downstairs could hear every word of my conversation, and I could almost feel the pleasure coming off her. When I ended the call she said, "Oh, is your friend not coming anymore?"
"No," I said through gritted teeth, and she sat down. So I had no choice other than to put the kettle on and make a cup of tea, to which she followed me in to the kitchen and told me exactly how she liked her tea, and because I didn't make it strong enough the first time around she would very much like a second cup. By this time I was beside myself. I just wanted her to leave and she wouldn't stop talking, and I was sitting on the floor chanting in my head, "please fuck off! Please fuck off!" Over and over again. She stayed for two whole excruciatingly long and painful hours. I've found out more than I needed to know about her personal life. Apparently she is not gay but has always been curious about lesbians, she is very highly sexed and likes men with big cocks, her current lover doesn't have enough staminer, she likes anal sex, she has slept with "many men", and she even started to hint at going on to the internet to look at porn on my lap top that was sitting on the table in front of her. Why oh why oh why do I always attract the weirdos? When she was leaving she asked for my number, and I gave it to her and took hers because at least then I thought, I can see when she's trying to call me. The problem with this building though is that if you knock on some one's door you can hear if they are in if they have music or the TV on which I usually do, so if she just decides to come calling like she did tonight, I'm fucked! On her departure she lingered in the door way, saying, "well, goodbye then," over and over, I think she wanted a hug or some kind of physical acknowledgement, but I just stood there willing her not to touch me and started to close the door. I had just called my mum to tell her what had happened when the doorbell rang again. With my heart pounding I stood stock still not even daring to breathe, holding the dog's collar trying to keep her from moving and making a noise, hoping that she would go away. When the bell rang again a few minutes later, I called out through the door and she said that she hadn't inputted my number correctly in to her phone. So I gave it to her through the door, and firmly said, "goodnight then," the door staying well and truly locked. I listened and heard her standing in the corridor for some time messing around with her phone, before she slowly moved off. What on earth am I going to do now? I have a fucking weird, lonely, very apparently psychologically unbalanced woman in my building who seems to have taken a liking to me.
And what is more, I am not getting laid tonight, and the food and the sexy underwear and crisp clean sheets are all untouched, and I am extremely pissed off!
I went in to town this morning to meet my friend Col who I haven't seen in about three years. We were good friends when we were at college together but drifted apart when she got a boyfriend and hadn't really kept in touch. But recently through the wonders of facebook she had looked me up and we've been chatting. So today I went to meet her and it was actually great to catch up and see how she's doing. She's a diabetic and had gone in to renal faliure and has been on dialysis for some time now which was quite a shock. She's doing ok though and doesn't seem to be letting it stop her from doing much. We had lunch together and at about two I got a call from Cherry to ask what time she should come over. She mentioned that she was really hung over and hadn't gotten in until 6 this morning from a night out but said she was just getting up and we agreed she'd come over at around 7 or 8. I left Col at around three and on my way home I stopped at the supermarket to buy croissants, strawberries and some wine. I came home, cleaned the flat, put fresh sheets on the bed, put new batteries in the toys I thought we might use, showered and moisturised, put on sexy underwear and perfume and was just getting ready to start cooking dinner when the door bell rang. My God she's early, I thought, but excited all the same I ran to open the door. And you'll never believe who was there. The weird woman from downstairs. I couldn't believe it, my face must have been an absolute picture, and I was so shocked that before I knew what was happening she had pushed past me and was taking a tour of my flat. I stood in the living room, my hands on my hips, a look of complete bewilderment mixed with outrage on my face. When I didn't offer to make her a cup of tea she said, "have I called at a bad time?"
"Well actually yes you have," I said. "I'm having a friend round for dinner and she'll be here any minute."
"Oh," she said, and still didn't make any move to leave. She'd been talking about something or other for a couple of minutes when my mobile rang. This is where it gets worse because it was Cherry saying that she'd been throwing up all day and couldn't get out of bed, and could we reskedule for tomorrow. I felt kind of awful on the phone because although I was obviously gutted that she wasn't coming round, I was more mortified that the woman from downstairs could hear every word of my conversation, and I could almost feel the pleasure coming off her. When I ended the call she said, "Oh, is your friend not coming anymore?"
"No," I said through gritted teeth, and she sat down. So I had no choice other than to put the kettle on and make a cup of tea, to which she followed me in to the kitchen and told me exactly how she liked her tea, and because I didn't make it strong enough the first time around she would very much like a second cup. By this time I was beside myself. I just wanted her to leave and she wouldn't stop talking, and I was sitting on the floor chanting in my head, "please fuck off! Please fuck off!" Over and over again. She stayed for two whole excruciatingly long and painful hours. I've found out more than I needed to know about her personal life. Apparently she is not gay but has always been curious about lesbians, she is very highly sexed and likes men with big cocks, her current lover doesn't have enough staminer, she likes anal sex, she has slept with "many men", and she even started to hint at going on to the internet to look at porn on my lap top that was sitting on the table in front of her. Why oh why oh why do I always attract the weirdos? When she was leaving she asked for my number, and I gave it to her and took hers because at least then I thought, I can see when she's trying to call me. The problem with this building though is that if you knock on some one's door you can hear if they are in if they have music or the TV on which I usually do, so if she just decides to come calling like she did tonight, I'm fucked! On her departure she lingered in the door way, saying, "well, goodbye then," over and over, I think she wanted a hug or some kind of physical acknowledgement, but I just stood there willing her not to touch me and started to close the door. I had just called my mum to tell her what had happened when the doorbell rang again. With my heart pounding I stood stock still not even daring to breathe, holding the dog's collar trying to keep her from moving and making a noise, hoping that she would go away. When the bell rang again a few minutes later, I called out through the door and she said that she hadn't inputted my number correctly in to her phone. So I gave it to her through the door, and firmly said, "goodnight then," the door staying well and truly locked. I listened and heard her standing in the corridor for some time messing around with her phone, before she slowly moved off. What on earth am I going to do now? I have a fucking weird, lonely, very apparently psychologically unbalanced woman in my building who seems to have taken a liking to me.
And what is more, I am not getting laid tonight, and the food and the sexy underwear and crisp clean sheets are all untouched, and I am extremely pissed off!
Friday, November 02, 2007
In the news
Fun Fun Fun!
So, as you’ve probably gathered, I got some good loving on Tuesday night. It was actually very spontaneous, I had been discussing sex online with a friend and complaining that I wasn’t getting enough, when a girl I’d been talking to online asked if I was up for a casual meet that evening. I was a bit apprehensive as we’d only just started talking, but we were both looking for some fun so I thought why the hell not and invited her over. I spoke to her for a bit on the phone first and we seemed to get on well so she headed over at about seven. She’s very attractive, black, about five feet five with long hair and she’s very slim, and oh my god such a fine ass! So we chatted over a bottle of wine for a couple of hours, she’s very funny and upbeat and we’re in to the same type of music and chatted about our families and our time at uni. I was in the middle of saying something about a Jill Scott gig I’d been too when she just leaned forward and kissed me with the fullest, softest lips. Now I do like a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go after it, so of course I responded. After a while we broke apart and laughed and looked at each other, I think she must have thought she’d moved too soon and started to pull back, so I touched her arm and pulled her close again. Once she’d got the idea that I was interested she was as feisty as hell and before long we moved from the sofa to the bed and that’s where we stayed for the next couple of hours. I’m not going to go into too much detail but I will say that she’s not in the least inhibited, and among other things it’s finally so nice to meet a black woman who is in to women and who isn’t afraid of using her tongue in all the right places. Mmm! So anyway, Cherry as she will now be known (and no that’s not because I popped hers) wanted to stay for the night but had to go to work the next day. So she’s coming over tomorrow evening and staying until Sunday, she called me from work yesterday and sent me a rather filthy email. She lives just down the road, so if things continue to go well it appears that I’ll hopefully have a regular fuck buddy. Finally! It’s taken since months of living here god damn it! Lol!
In other news, I also got hit on yesterday by a woman who lives in my building and who is the type of lesbian that I would run a million miles from. I don’t mean to be rude, but she stood far too close and commented on my “perfect teeth,” my “large breasts”, my “lovely blue eyes”, all within the first ten minutes of talking to her. I mean it’s lovely to get complimented, but there’s nothing worse than getting bombarded with them by some one you’ve only just met and you absolutely would never ever even think of dating or doing anything remotely like that with. I told her my age in the hope that would put her off, and she made the kind of disappointed noise that suggested she’d been thinking about shagging me for the entire conversation and had then realised how big an age gap there was. Even so she asked if I was free for coffee at some point which I gave a very vague answer to and tried to make my escape. So I’m a bit edgy every time I go down to the lobby in case she’s there. Scary predatory dykes, haha. I wouldn’t mind if she’d been femme and lovely, we all know I’m not adversed to getting involved with older women but she really wasn’t my type.
Last night I went to Caroline’s with H and S for dinner and had a fabulous time. We had such a laugh, Caroline has always got a story to tell about something or other, and it’s all in the telling because we usually end up crying with laughter by the end of it. We were also highly amused by how Una and her Cat reacted to one another, a kind of nervous excitement in them both that had the potential to explode in to either chasing, or spitting and growling, or both. They were both really well behaved though and Caroline has offered to dog sit anytime I need some one. I had rather a lot of wine and then had to make my way home from the other side of London which took ages and finally collapsed in to bed at around one to have a session with my new toy from
Sh
which arrived yesterday. The combination of
this
and
this
Meant that I had such a powerful orgasm that I fell asleep immediately.
I don’t have a lot planned for tonight, tomorrow morning I’m meeting an old college friend in town who I haven’t seen in years so that should be interesting. Then in the evening Cherry is coming over and no doubt that’ll be the better part of Sunday taken care of. Sunday evening if I make it out of bed I’m heading in to town to have coffee with a newly discovered lesbian social group.
Fun Fun Fun!
In other news, I also got hit on yesterday by a woman who lives in my building and who is the type of lesbian that I would run a million miles from. I don’t mean to be rude, but she stood far too close and commented on my “perfect teeth,” my “large breasts”, my “lovely blue eyes”, all within the first ten minutes of talking to her. I mean it’s lovely to get complimented, but there’s nothing worse than getting bombarded with them by some one you’ve only just met and you absolutely would never ever even think of dating or doing anything remotely like that with. I told her my age in the hope that would put her off, and she made the kind of disappointed noise that suggested she’d been thinking about shagging me for the entire conversation and had then realised how big an age gap there was. Even so she asked if I was free for coffee at some point which I gave a very vague answer to and tried to make my escape. So I’m a bit edgy every time I go down to the lobby in case she’s there. Scary predatory dykes, haha. I wouldn’t mind if she’d been femme and lovely, we all know I’m not adversed to getting involved with older women but she really wasn’t my type.
Last night I went to Caroline’s with H and S for dinner and had a fabulous time. We had such a laugh, Caroline has always got a story to tell about something or other, and it’s all in the telling because we usually end up crying with laughter by the end of it. We were also highly amused by how Una and her Cat reacted to one another, a kind of nervous excitement in them both that had the potential to explode in to either chasing, or spitting and growling, or both. They were both really well behaved though and Caroline has offered to dog sit anytime I need some one. I had rather a lot of wine and then had to make my way home from the other side of London which took ages and finally collapsed in to bed at around one to have a session with my new toy from
Sh
which arrived yesterday. The combination of
this
and
this
Meant that I had such a powerful orgasm that I fell asleep immediately.
I don’t have a lot planned for tonight, tomorrow morning I’m meeting an old college friend in town who I haven’t seen in years so that should be interesting. Then in the evening Cherry is coming over and no doubt that’ll be the better part of Sunday taken care of. Sunday evening if I make it out of bed I’m heading in to town to have coffee with a newly discovered lesbian social group.
Fun Fun Fun!
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Subscribe
Don't you just hate it when you revisit some one's blog only to find they haven't updated? Well I've added email subscriptions so that you don't have to keep checking back. Just enter your email address in the subscription box on this page and you'll apparently be notified every time I update. See? Don't say I don't think about my readers. :)
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
Why I love London
I was sitting on the tube this afternoon listening to my Ipod as usual, when a realisation hit me like a tidal wave. The answer to why I love London so much. I' first came to London when I was about to turn fifteen. The reason behind the visit was that I had attempted suicide. I don't want to go in to that in this post, but relates to
this post
On leaving hospital my parents, who tried to bury their heads in the sand back then thought it would be a good idea for us to get away for the weekend. So they booked a trip to London, and I remember crying and saying I didn't want to go. Back then it was a struggle to even get out of bed in the morning and pull myself through each day and the thought of going away for an action packed weekend, and trying to act like everything was ok tore me up inside. But when we arrived I felt the pull of the city. For those of you who haven't been, and even those who have and just don't feel it, I think there is a buzz to London, an energy that I haven't felt anywhere else I've been. It's in the city's history, the architecture, the exclusive hotels that cater to the stars, the tourists taking pictures, the joggers running with the Thames, the blasting car horns, the millions of cyclists on the road that everyone curses, the expensive houses that no one can really afford to buy unless they are filthy rich and then what Americans would call the Gettoe or the Projects. It's in the people, from the professional business people in suits working in huge office buildings, to the homeless people and the prostitutes and the pimps and the rent boys. I felt this energy the first time I visited, and although I was deeply depressed at the time, something lifted my spirits and I actually managed to make the most of the time we spent here. I returned many times after that, to visit friends I had made who lived in London, and then to spend time with DL's family when we were together. I had known for a long time that I wanted to live here, I felt as though it were my destiny to do so, but I never really knew why. And today I think I finally figured it out. I love London because I feel I belong here. I fit in here, I don't stand out, either as a gay woman, or as a blind woman. I can travel around this city, the biggest city in the UK by myself because of the underground system, , something I struggle to do anywhere else. I don't have to rely on anyone, if I want to go somewhere, I just go. For most people that is perfectly normal anyway, but it never has been for me. I know I don't talk about my blindness much on here and that's because I firstly don't see it as something that defines who I am, and I wouldn't want other people to think of it as my defining quality either. But being able to just up and go somewhere, travel for an hour, two hours to get to the other side of the city is something I can do here as easily as making a cup of tea and it's something I marvel at every time I do it. As soon as I go anywhere else I either have to spend a fortune on cabs, or rely on some one to drive me places because like I said, the underground system hasn't beenn recreated anywhere else in the UK. And it's not just that. The things that I can do here as a gay woman, pick a group for each night of the week to go to and meet people, go to discussions at gay book shops, go to lesbian sex parties, women only bars, gay festivals, gay cafes, all this creates such a sense of belonging. I mean sure of course there are homophobes here, that goes without saying, it's just the enormity of what I as a lesbian am able to do is phenominal. So I think I've figured out why it feels more like home than anywhere else I've ever lived. Because the two things that have been hardest to deal with in my life, both for myself and other people, my lesbianism and my blindness, well neither of them are a battle in this city. They are accepted, they are encouraged, supported, aided. Sure it gets lonely sometimes, it can feel like the harshest and loneliest city in the world at times because it is so big and there are so many people. But when people say to me, "how can you live in London, it's so intimidating," I smile and say, "it's not intimidating, it's amazing, and it's my home. It's where I belong."
this post
On leaving hospital my parents, who tried to bury their heads in the sand back then thought it would be a good idea for us to get away for the weekend. So they booked a trip to London, and I remember crying and saying I didn't want to go. Back then it was a struggle to even get out of bed in the morning and pull myself through each day and the thought of going away for an action packed weekend, and trying to act like everything was ok tore me up inside. But when we arrived I felt the pull of the city. For those of you who haven't been, and even those who have and just don't feel it, I think there is a buzz to London, an energy that I haven't felt anywhere else I've been. It's in the city's history, the architecture, the exclusive hotels that cater to the stars, the tourists taking pictures, the joggers running with the Thames, the blasting car horns, the millions of cyclists on the road that everyone curses, the expensive houses that no one can really afford to buy unless they are filthy rich and then what Americans would call the Gettoe or the Projects. It's in the people, from the professional business people in suits working in huge office buildings, to the homeless people and the prostitutes and the pimps and the rent boys. I felt this energy the first time I visited, and although I was deeply depressed at the time, something lifted my spirits and I actually managed to make the most of the time we spent here. I returned many times after that, to visit friends I had made who lived in London, and then to spend time with DL's family when we were together. I had known for a long time that I wanted to live here, I felt as though it were my destiny to do so, but I never really knew why. And today I think I finally figured it out. I love London because I feel I belong here. I fit in here, I don't stand out, either as a gay woman, or as a blind woman. I can travel around this city, the biggest city in the UK by myself because of the underground system, , something I struggle to do anywhere else. I don't have to rely on anyone, if I want to go somewhere, I just go. For most people that is perfectly normal anyway, but it never has been for me. I know I don't talk about my blindness much on here and that's because I firstly don't see it as something that defines who I am, and I wouldn't want other people to think of it as my defining quality either. But being able to just up and go somewhere, travel for an hour, two hours to get to the other side of the city is something I can do here as easily as making a cup of tea and it's something I marvel at every time I do it. As soon as I go anywhere else I either have to spend a fortune on cabs, or rely on some one to drive me places because like I said, the underground system hasn't beenn recreated anywhere else in the UK. And it's not just that. The things that I can do here as a gay woman, pick a group for each night of the week to go to and meet people, go to discussions at gay book shops, go to lesbian sex parties, women only bars, gay festivals, gay cafes, all this creates such a sense of belonging. I mean sure of course there are homophobes here, that goes without saying, it's just the enormity of what I as a lesbian am able to do is phenominal. So I think I've figured out why it feels more like home than anywhere else I've ever lived. Because the two things that have been hardest to deal with in my life, both for myself and other people, my lesbianism and my blindness, well neither of them are a battle in this city. They are accepted, they are encouraged, supported, aided. Sure it gets lonely sometimes, it can feel like the harshest and loneliest city in the world at times because it is so big and there are so many people. But when people say to me, "how can you live in London, it's so intimidating," I smile and say, "it's not intimidating, it's amazing, and it's my home. It's where I belong."
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Porn with breakfast
leads to two things...
A session with my battery opperated friends
and
cold toast.
Speaking of my BOF's, they seem to be failing me one by one lately, probably because of the amount of use they've had over the past few weeks. When indulging yesterday it was all I could do not to throw the whole lot out the window in frustration. Can you imagine the headlines?
"Small child is killed by being hit on the head by a box of sex toys hurled out of window from several floors up by a sexually frustrated lesbian."
Hmm...
They didn't go out the window however, and I managed to persuade my clit that the amount of stimulation she was getting from a rapidly dying vibrating bullet was more than enough to achieve an orgasm. Only just, though. I think it's time to take a trip to my favourite adult store to spend a small fortune on some new toys.
http://www.sh-womenstore.com
Also, I think I've discovered why I've been feeling off key, time to dig out the feminax, which by the way is fucking crap because it hasn't stopped my fucking stomach from cramping, nor altered my fucking bad mood!!!!!
Sorry about that, I'm ok now.
Fucking periods!!!
Going to curl up in bed with a cup of tea, a bar of chocolate and watch Eastenders.
A session with my battery opperated friends
and
cold toast.
Speaking of my BOF's, they seem to be failing me one by one lately, probably because of the amount of use they've had over the past few weeks. When indulging yesterday it was all I could do not to throw the whole lot out the window in frustration. Can you imagine the headlines?
"Small child is killed by being hit on the head by a box of sex toys hurled out of window from several floors up by a sexually frustrated lesbian."
Hmm...
They didn't go out the window however, and I managed to persuade my clit that the amount of stimulation she was getting from a rapidly dying vibrating bullet was more than enough to achieve an orgasm. Only just, though. I think it's time to take a trip to my favourite adult store to spend a small fortune on some new toys.
http://www.sh-womenstore.com
Also, I think I've discovered why I've been feeling off key, time to dig out the feminax, which by the way is fucking crap because it hasn't stopped my fucking stomach from cramping, nor altered my fucking bad mood!!!!!
Sorry about that, I'm ok now.
Fucking periods!!!
Going to curl up in bed with a cup of tea, a bar of chocolate and watch Eastenders.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Discontent
I feel out of sorts today. I have lots to do and can't settle on anything. It's not the first time I've found myself feeling like this over the past few weeks, restless, unsettled and sad about something I can't really put my finger on. I'm fine when I'm busy, but when I'm alone with my thoughts I just get overwhelmed with being inside my own head. All I seem to be doing at the moment is reading, and although that's obviously due to my passion for books, it's also a form of escapism that I find myself longing for. I guess the way I'm feeling is due to a number of things, being out of a job and all that that affects, my social status, lack of routine and depleting finances. The worry of that and not really being able to share it with some one close. Having to depend on myself alone for support. Added to not really feeling connected to anyone at the moment is all making me feel off centre. I just feel like I'm going through the motions of day to day life, rarely feeling overly happy or excited about much these days. I'm generally an optimistic person, the glass is always half full, so I suspect this mood will pass sooner rather than later, but right now it's an effort just to get up in the morning because I feel like I don't really have much to get up for. Pathetic I know because I'm living where I've always wanted too, in my own flat with potentially a great future ahead, career wise, socially and romantically if I were to meet the right person. There's just something niggling away in my head, and I feel kind of empty. I've found myself waking up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason and having to force myself to go back to sleep after lying awake for what is sometimes hours. I've become terrified of the prospect of spending any length of time by myself because it gives me too much time to think, and I'm absolutely dreading the onset of christmas.
Just needed to get that off my chest really, I'll be fine. :)
Just needed to get that off my chest really, I'll be fine. :)
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Exposed
EXPOSED
THIS WEEK IS TURNING OUT TO BE QUITE A WEEK FOR SOCIAL EVENTS AND MEETING NEW PEOPLE. I’VE MAINLY BEEN GOING TO STUFF ORGANISED BY PEOPLE FROM THE BOARDS ON GB, SIGNIFICANT BECAUSE MY BLOG IS LINKED TO MY PROFILE ON THAT SITE. SOMETHING THAT WAS BOUGHT TO MY ATTENTION WHEN CHATTING TO PEOPLE IS HOW MANY PEOPLE ACTUALLY CLICK ON THE LINK AND READ IT. BECAUSE MY OLDER FRIENDS KNOW I HAVE A BLOG AND SOME HAVE BLOGS THEMSELVES WE RARELY SPEAK ABOUT WHAT I WRITE, UNLESS IT IS DRAWN TO THEIR ATTENTION FOR A SPECIFIC REASON. BUT A COUPLE OF TIMES THIS WEEK MY BLOG HAS BEEN MENTIONED BY PEOPLE I DON’T REALLY KNOW. NICE IN ONE WAY BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY HAVING A READERSHIP IS KIND OF IMPORTANT TO ME, IT’S GOOD TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE COME BACK TO IT TO FIND OUT HOW I’M DOING OR WHAT’S BEEN GOING ON, BUT MY READERSHIP HAS UP UNTIL NOW BEEN VERY CLOSE FRIENDS OR PEOPLE I DON’T KNOW. SO WHAT I DID FIND DISCONCERTING WAS THE THOUGHT THAT ANYONE WHO I MIGHT MEET WHO READS THE BLOG GETS A VERY DETAILED AND FRANK DESCRIPTION OF MY PRIVATE LIFE, WHILE I KNOW VERY LITTLE ABOUT THEM. NOW WE ALL KNOW THAT I’M USUALLY VERY OPEN, I’M PROUD OF MY SEXUALITY AND I’M HARDLY A WALL FLOWER, BUT I COULDN’T HELP FEELING A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN, ON GOING TO A MEET LAST NIGHT FOR LOCAL LESBIANS, A COUPLE OF PEOPLE REFERED TO THE SEX PARTY I’D BEEN TO. DON’T GET ME WRONG, IT’S NOT THAT I DON’T WANT PEOPLE TO DISCUSS THINGS LIKE THAT, IF I WRITE ABOUT THEM AND PUT MY THOUGHTS OUT THERE FORE EVERYONE TO READ IT’S HARDLY SURPRISING THAT PEOPLE WILL COMMENT. IT JUST CONCERNS ME SLIGHTLY THAT SOME ONE WHO I COULD POTENTIALLY END UP DATING MIGHT HAPPEN TO CLICK ON TO MY BLOG, AND KNOW MY RELATIONSHIPS AND SEXUAL HISTORY OF THE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS, WHEREAS I HARDLY KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THEM, AT ALL. I GUESS WHAT I WAS FEELING WHEN THE TOPIC CAME UP LAST NIGHT WAS AN IMBALANCE OF KNOWLEDGE. THAT SOME OF MY MOST PRIVATE THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND FANTASIES WERE COMMON KNOWLEDGE TO THESE PEOPLE, WHEREAS I WAS ONLY JUST BEGINNING TO EVEN KNOW THEM. I GUESS IT JUST TAKES A BIT OF GETTING USED TOO, BUT I HAVE CONSIDERED REMOVING THE LINK FROM THIS PARTICULAR SITE SO THAT FEWER PEOPLE I MIGHT HAPPEN TO MEET SOCIALLY HAVE ACCESS TO THE BLOG. IT MIGHT JUST MAKE ME FEEL A BIT MORE COMFORTABLE ABOUT SAYING WHAT I REALLY WANT TO SAY, RATHER THAN WORRYING IT MIGHT COME UP WITH SOME ONE I’M ON A DATE WITH, OR GETTING TO KNOW SOCIALLY. IT COMES BACK TO THE FACT THAT THERE’S ALWAYS A BATTLE WITH BLOGGING IN TERMS OF PRIVACY. DO YOU REMAIN COMPLETELY ANONYMOUS, NOT DISCLOSE YOUR IDENTITY TO ANYONE, NOT LINK YOUR BLOGS ANYWHERE ONLINE? OR DO YOU DO AS I HAVE CHOSEN TO, AND BE COMPLETELY OPEN, NO HIDDEN IDENTITIES, WRITE FRANKLY AND HONESTLY AND JUST DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT PEOPLE PROBABLY KNOW YOU BETTER THAN YOU DO THEM.
ANYWAY, ENOUGH OF MY PRIVACY CONCERNS…
I MET A LOVELY GROUP OF WOMEN ON MONDAY NIGHT. I WENT TO A MEET FOR FEMMES WHO LIKE FEMMES AT A BAR IN TOWN AND IT WAS GREAT. THERE WERE SOME EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE WOMEN PRESENT WHICH IS ALWAYS A BONUS, AND I MADE FRIENDS WITH A REALLY LOVELY COUPLE WHO I’VE INVITED ROUND FOR DINNER SOMETIME. ON TUESDAY MY MOTHER ARRIVED FOR HER BIRTHDAY WITH MY UNCLE IN TOE WHICH WAS A SURPRISE, AND I TOOK THEM TO COVENT GARDEN WHERE WE DID SOME SHOPPING AND I BOUGHT A NEW PAIR OF TROUSERS AND SOME NEW TIMS, AND IN THE EVENING WE WENT TO AN IRANIAN RESTAURANT RECOMMENDED BY A WOMAN FROM THE FEMMES MEET. THE FOOD WAS DELICIOUS, ALTHOUGH GETTING MY FAMILY TO APPRECIATE FOOD THAT ISN’T BRITISH OR ITALIAN IS QUITE DIFFICULT. LAST NIGHT I WENT TO A MEET UP FOR GAY WOMEN IN THE LOCAL AREA, WHICH WAS GOOD BECAUSE A I DIDN’T HAVE TO TRAVEL VERY FAR AND B IT’S NICE TO GET TO KNOW PEOPLE WHO LIVE FAIRLY LOCALLY. TONIGHT I HAVE A DATE WHICH I’M QUITE LOOKING FORWARD TOO, I’VE ONLY SPOKEN TO THE WOMAN I’M MEETING ONLINE SO IT’LL BE INTERESTING TO SEE WHAT SHE IS LIKE. SPEAKING OF WHICH I’D BETTER GO AND GET READY OR I’LL BE LATE.
** ** **
JUST GOT BACK FROM THE DATE, WHICH WAS VERY NICE. THE WOMAN I MET WAS INTELLIGENT, A GOOD CONVERSATIONALIST AND SHE MADE ME LAUGH WHICH IS ALWAYS GOOD. MY POINT WAS PROVEN ENTIRELY THOUGH WHEN, PART WAY THROUGH DINNER SHE SAID, “SO… I’VE READ SOME OF YOUR BLOG.” IMMEDIATELY MY HEART SANK AND I KNEW WHAT WAS COMING NEXT. “DID YOU REALLY GO TO THAT SEX PARTY?”
SO AFTER WE DISCUSSED SAID PARTY I COULDN’T HELP SAYING, “OK SO NOW YOU HAVE TO TELL ME YOUR SEXUAL HISTORY.” AND I DID EXPLAIN TO HER THAT THE IMBALANCE MADE ME SLIGHTLY UNCOMFORTABLE. WE HAD A LAUGH ABOUT IT THOUGH AND MY SEXUAL ANTICS DIDN’T SEEM TO PHASE HER. MAYBE IT COULD BE A GOOD THING THAT WOMEN KNOW HOW ADVENTUROUS I CAN BE BECAUSE THEN THEY KNOW WHAT THEY’RE LETTING THEMSELVES IN FOR, HEEHEE. SERIOUSLY THOUGH, I REALLY AM GOING TO REMOVE THE LINK BECAUSE I WOULD MUCH RATHER MY ADVENTUROUS SIDE BE BOUGHT UP IN CONVERSATION BECAUSE I WANT IT TO BE, NOT BECAUSE SOME ONE HAS READ ALL ABOUT IT. I HAD A LOVELY EVENING THOUGH AND CAN SEE A POTENTIAL FRIENDSHIP FORMING IF NOTHING ELSE HAPPENS. SO WHAT’S THE PLANB FOR THE WEEKEND? I’M OUT TOMORROW NIGHT, AND THEN I’M NOT SURE WHAT’S GOING ON THE REST OF THE TIME, THIS IS THE WEEKEND I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GOING TO THE LESBIAN ARTS FESTIVAL WITH DL WHICH I’M OBVIOUSLY NOT GOING TO NOW, SO MAYBE I’LL DO SOMETHING SPONTANEOUS INSTEAD.
Also, appologies if this post has come out in capital letters, my lap top appears to be having a fit.
THIS WEEK IS TURNING OUT TO BE QUITE A WEEK FOR SOCIAL EVENTS AND MEETING NEW PEOPLE. I’VE MAINLY BEEN GOING TO STUFF ORGANISED BY PEOPLE FROM THE BOARDS ON GB, SIGNIFICANT BECAUSE MY BLOG IS LINKED TO MY PROFILE ON THAT SITE. SOMETHING THAT WAS BOUGHT TO MY ATTENTION WHEN CHATTING TO PEOPLE IS HOW MANY PEOPLE ACTUALLY CLICK ON THE LINK AND READ IT. BECAUSE MY OLDER FRIENDS KNOW I HAVE A BLOG AND SOME HAVE BLOGS THEMSELVES WE RARELY SPEAK ABOUT WHAT I WRITE, UNLESS IT IS DRAWN TO THEIR ATTENTION FOR A SPECIFIC REASON. BUT A COUPLE OF TIMES THIS WEEK MY BLOG HAS BEEN MENTIONED BY PEOPLE I DON’T REALLY KNOW. NICE IN ONE WAY BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY HAVING A READERSHIP IS KIND OF IMPORTANT TO ME, IT’S GOOD TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE COME BACK TO IT TO FIND OUT HOW I’M DOING OR WHAT’S BEEN GOING ON, BUT MY READERSHIP HAS UP UNTIL NOW BEEN VERY CLOSE FRIENDS OR PEOPLE I DON’T KNOW. SO WHAT I DID FIND DISCONCERTING WAS THE THOUGHT THAT ANYONE WHO I MIGHT MEET WHO READS THE BLOG GETS A VERY DETAILED AND FRANK DESCRIPTION OF MY PRIVATE LIFE, WHILE I KNOW VERY LITTLE ABOUT THEM. NOW WE ALL KNOW THAT I’M USUALLY VERY OPEN, I’M PROUD OF MY SEXUALITY AND I’M HARDLY A WALL FLOWER, BUT I COULDN’T HELP FEELING A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN, ON GOING TO A MEET LAST NIGHT FOR LOCAL LESBIANS, A COUPLE OF PEOPLE REFERED TO THE SEX PARTY I’D BEEN TO. DON’T GET ME WRONG, IT’S NOT THAT I DON’T WANT PEOPLE TO DISCUSS THINGS LIKE THAT, IF I WRITE ABOUT THEM AND PUT MY THOUGHTS OUT THERE FORE EVERYONE TO READ IT’S HARDLY SURPRISING THAT PEOPLE WILL COMMENT. IT JUST CONCERNS ME SLIGHTLY THAT SOME ONE WHO I COULD POTENTIALLY END UP DATING MIGHT HAPPEN TO CLICK ON TO MY BLOG, AND KNOW MY RELATIONSHIPS AND SEXUAL HISTORY OF THE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS, WHEREAS I HARDLY KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THEM, AT ALL. I GUESS WHAT I WAS FEELING WHEN THE TOPIC CAME UP LAST NIGHT WAS AN IMBALANCE OF KNOWLEDGE. THAT SOME OF MY MOST PRIVATE THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND FANTASIES WERE COMMON KNOWLEDGE TO THESE PEOPLE, WHEREAS I WAS ONLY JUST BEGINNING TO EVEN KNOW THEM. I GUESS IT JUST TAKES A BIT OF GETTING USED TOO, BUT I HAVE CONSIDERED REMOVING THE LINK FROM THIS PARTICULAR SITE SO THAT FEWER PEOPLE I MIGHT HAPPEN TO MEET SOCIALLY HAVE ACCESS TO THE BLOG. IT MIGHT JUST MAKE ME FEEL A BIT MORE COMFORTABLE ABOUT SAYING WHAT I REALLY WANT TO SAY, RATHER THAN WORRYING IT MIGHT COME UP WITH SOME ONE I’M ON A DATE WITH, OR GETTING TO KNOW SOCIALLY. IT COMES BACK TO THE FACT THAT THERE’S ALWAYS A BATTLE WITH BLOGGING IN TERMS OF PRIVACY. DO YOU REMAIN COMPLETELY ANONYMOUS, NOT DISCLOSE YOUR IDENTITY TO ANYONE, NOT LINK YOUR BLOGS ANYWHERE ONLINE? OR DO YOU DO AS I HAVE CHOSEN TO, AND BE COMPLETELY OPEN, NO HIDDEN IDENTITIES, WRITE FRANKLY AND HONESTLY AND JUST DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT PEOPLE PROBABLY KNOW YOU BETTER THAN YOU DO THEM.
ANYWAY, ENOUGH OF MY PRIVACY CONCERNS…
I MET A LOVELY GROUP OF WOMEN ON MONDAY NIGHT. I WENT TO A MEET FOR FEMMES WHO LIKE FEMMES AT A BAR IN TOWN AND IT WAS GREAT. THERE WERE SOME EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE WOMEN PRESENT WHICH IS ALWAYS A BONUS, AND I MADE FRIENDS WITH A REALLY LOVELY COUPLE WHO I’VE INVITED ROUND FOR DINNER SOMETIME. ON TUESDAY MY MOTHER ARRIVED FOR HER BIRTHDAY WITH MY UNCLE IN TOE WHICH WAS A SURPRISE, AND I TOOK THEM TO COVENT GARDEN WHERE WE DID SOME SHOPPING AND I BOUGHT A NEW PAIR OF TROUSERS AND SOME NEW TIMS, AND IN THE EVENING WE WENT TO AN IRANIAN RESTAURANT RECOMMENDED BY A WOMAN FROM THE FEMMES MEET. THE FOOD WAS DELICIOUS, ALTHOUGH GETTING MY FAMILY TO APPRECIATE FOOD THAT ISN’T BRITISH OR ITALIAN IS QUITE DIFFICULT. LAST NIGHT I WENT TO A MEET UP FOR GAY WOMEN IN THE LOCAL AREA, WHICH WAS GOOD BECAUSE A I DIDN’T HAVE TO TRAVEL VERY FAR AND B IT’S NICE TO GET TO KNOW PEOPLE WHO LIVE FAIRLY LOCALLY. TONIGHT I HAVE A DATE WHICH I’M QUITE LOOKING FORWARD TOO, I’VE ONLY SPOKEN TO THE WOMAN I’M MEETING ONLINE SO IT’LL BE INTERESTING TO SEE WHAT SHE IS LIKE. SPEAKING OF WHICH I’D BETTER GO AND GET READY OR I’LL BE LATE.
** ** **
JUST GOT BACK FROM THE DATE, WHICH WAS VERY NICE. THE WOMAN I MET WAS INTELLIGENT, A GOOD CONVERSATIONALIST AND SHE MADE ME LAUGH WHICH IS ALWAYS GOOD. MY POINT WAS PROVEN ENTIRELY THOUGH WHEN, PART WAY THROUGH DINNER SHE SAID, “SO… I’VE READ SOME OF YOUR BLOG.” IMMEDIATELY MY HEART SANK AND I KNEW WHAT WAS COMING NEXT. “DID YOU REALLY GO TO THAT SEX PARTY?”
SO AFTER WE DISCUSSED SAID PARTY I COULDN’T HELP SAYING, “OK SO NOW YOU HAVE TO TELL ME YOUR SEXUAL HISTORY.” AND I DID EXPLAIN TO HER THAT THE IMBALANCE MADE ME SLIGHTLY UNCOMFORTABLE. WE HAD A LAUGH ABOUT IT THOUGH AND MY SEXUAL ANTICS DIDN’T SEEM TO PHASE HER. MAYBE IT COULD BE A GOOD THING THAT WOMEN KNOW HOW ADVENTUROUS I CAN BE BECAUSE THEN THEY KNOW WHAT THEY’RE LETTING THEMSELVES IN FOR, HEEHEE. SERIOUSLY THOUGH, I REALLY AM GOING TO REMOVE THE LINK BECAUSE I WOULD MUCH RATHER MY ADVENTUROUS SIDE BE BOUGHT UP IN CONVERSATION BECAUSE I WANT IT TO BE, NOT BECAUSE SOME ONE HAS READ ALL ABOUT IT. I HAD A LOVELY EVENING THOUGH AND CAN SEE A POTENTIAL FRIENDSHIP FORMING IF NOTHING ELSE HAPPENS. SO WHAT’S THE PLANB FOR THE WEEKEND? I’M OUT TOMORROW NIGHT, AND THEN I’M NOT SURE WHAT’S GOING ON THE REST OF THE TIME, THIS IS THE WEEKEND I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GOING TO THE LESBIAN ARTS FESTIVAL WITH DL WHICH I’M OBVIOUSLY NOT GOING TO NOW, SO MAYBE I’LL DO SOMETHING SPONTANEOUS INSTEAD.
Also, appologies if this post has come out in capital letters, my lap top appears to be having a fit.
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